Hi,

I'm reviewing the entries for the Lodestar competition, and your story was next on the list.

First thing I noticed was that this story was quite short. I don't mind that at all; I loved flash fiction. However, it does seem the contest requirement was at least 1.500 words. Just in case you had missed it.

Anyway, onto the review.

"The big wave hit and Ander's family died..." - I quite like the opening poem. Also, that's one strong hook of an opening line and great way of getting some information about the MC's backstory and current situation across.

"locals who knew his story understood that he still carried his grief in his briefcase. They gently advised him to set it down and walk away." - I really love this description. It vivid and does a lot to show how long the MC has been carrying this burden.

"He rarely spoke Swedish. English and Mandarin were the language..." - There are a few infodumps here in the begining, "telling" us about the MC's situation and life in general rather than "showing" us. Some of them I get, like the earlier paragraph about the siblings dying, but this one really don't seem to be doing much for the story. Is important to the story which language the MC speaks? And if it is, wouldn't it be more interesting having a see where he shows us how adept he is with the various language rather than having the narrator tell us straight out.

"On the 17th of May she always made meatballs for his husband..." - Again, there are some interesting aspects here (the refugee from Norway to Thailand definitely piqued my interest), and it's nice to get a view of the MC's daily life. However, it's all told to us directly, out of context. I'm really sure I'm interested enough in the MC yet to want all these details.

"this three bedroom house was his in name only. Erik was his home." - Ah, another lovely way of putting it. I really love this phrasing.

"one yellow rose by Ander's place" - Very minor detail, but you generally write "Ander's", but if the MC's name is Anders, then it should be either "Anders'" or "Anders's".

"Anders still didn't trust water." - That's a nice little detail. I can definitely see how the trauma could lead to the MC avoiding the sea in general.


Overall
This story seemed to focus more on characters and the tone/emotions than plot, and I quite liked that. Especially for short piece like this, I think that can work very well. There were some lovely descriptions too. Above, I've highlighted the ones that stood out to me.

I do feel like the story suffers from a lot "telling rather than showing". A large chunk of the story is the narrator telling us directly what the MC's situation is like. Who he lives with, what happened to his siblings, where he is from. I guess it can't be avoided entirely, especially not in short short story, but I think it would have worked better if we could deduced at least some of that information ourselves instead being told. I think it's easier to immerse ourselves in stories that way.

Just as an example, we maybe don't need the mention of the twenty years in the beginning, because we get this lovely bit soon after: "locals who knew his story understood that he still carried his grief in his briefcase. They gently advised him to set it down and walk away."
If the locals knows about his grief and try to get him to move on, that, I think, shows (in a much more interesting way than being told directly) that he has been carying this burden for years.

That was my thoughts on the story. I hope some of them will be helpfull in your future writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .