Hello Kåre เลียม Enga,

my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.


Use of prompt

This wasn’t about a literal political upheaval but rather an internal, moral and communal revolution, and it fits the prompt creatively. The story took the song prompt and transformed it into something quieter and more symbolic.


Plot

The story’s conflict was subtle and emotional rather than external. The plot moved between memory and present, centering on a gardener who once hosted gatherings that symbolized peace and unity. In the present, he mourned a nearby act of violence but continued the tradition of his garden party on August 28th, commemorating Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream.


Structure

I liked how the story weaved together fragments of past and present, shifting from memories of violence and lost dreams to the immediate scenes of a neighborhood gathering. Instead of a linear progression, the story relied on repetition and symbolism to create rhythm and continuity, and it was quite poetic in that respect.


Dialogue

The lack of dialogue contributed to the story’s reflective, poetic tone, but at the same time made the piece feel a little distant - there were no conversations that would ground the events in human experiences, although on the other hand, it made it more universal.


Descriptions and Setting

The descriptions were very vivid and lyrical. The garden, the birds, the food and the people were well drawn, giving a strong sense of place and atmosphere.


Mechanics

The story was well written and I didn’t notice any errors as such, although the slight overuse of the ellipses stood out to me. I would suggest omitting some of them so it’s not quite so noticeable.


Overall impact

This was a very reflective, meditative story that emphasised hope, community, and the possibility of peaceful change. I liked the sense of calm ritual and shared humanity, showing that even small, repeated actions, like the gardener’s annual party, can encourage understanding and healing.





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .