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 Review #4832665 |
A NIGHT TO REMEMBER  [E] A story to share .  |
| (4.0)| A WdC SuperPowers Review Hi Mary Ann MCPhedran . I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "A NIGHT TO REMEMBER" . I chose your story because it was part of a challenge from "Writing.Com in Wonderland" in which I had to find 12 sets of two items with the same name. The other item with this title was one of my own: "A Night to Remember" .I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. My reason for selecting your item was the complete difference in subject despite having the same name. I won't expound any further on that subject--I'll let anyone reading this review verify my previous statement on his own.As for your memory, I found it quite worthy of your title. You discuss a book launch--to which I offer my belated congratulations-- set up with the assistance of your daughter. Just having the chance to work with your daughter by itself would be a "night to remember." I know I would feel the same. I was confused by the opening section of your essay; I wondered if listing these items was a reminder for you to move your story to another spot in your Port. I found that aspect a bit distracting to read. May I suggest that you re-read your story out loud? There are a couple places where the flow of your wording is a little off. For example, your opening clause (up to the first comma) should be a complete sentence. It's a natural stop. Thus, it would look like this: I had book launch. It was my daughter who first suggested that I bring my books to the attention of the people in our town Corby in Northamptonshire England, and I decided to let her set it up. Also, you tell us that your daughter 'set it up.' But right after that you state that you enjoyed the organising challenge. The two statements seemed at odds with each other to me as a reader. Finally, was one of the ladies you mentioned by name your daughter? You threw out some names with whom you were very familiar. But a reader would not know them, and how they really fit into your story. Perhaps adding a quick phrase explaining who they were would help. It sounds like your launch was a great success. I noted that you created this story back in 2015. I hope you have continued to be successful in your writing endeavors.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. A couple of technical items jump out at me that I thought I should mention. Your paragraph spacing could be more consistent, and should at least be doubled around your dialogue. Am I correct in assuming that British use of quotation marks is a single mark? My Rating. 4.0.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You last responded to this review 09/02/2025 @ 6:13pm EDT