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Review #4836497
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Review by Tiggy 🌺 Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.5)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

I wish I had a garden gnome who helps with the gardening! I would make sure he's kept in good repair and provide him with all the tools he needs. After all, he's a cheap helper and it seems he doesn't ask for much.

Nomie in this story seemed to have quite a happy life and he enjoyed looking after the seedlings. It was a shame that his family didn't want to repair him, although I'm sure they would have done had they known how helpful he had been. They did seem to like him because they went to the trouble of giving him a proper burial, which was nice.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was well written and the only suggestion I have is regarding the first paragraph. You have four quite short sentences in a row, which makes the narration feel a little abrupt:

He went and got his step ladder. He climbed up on it. It began to wobble precariously. Before he could adjust it, it toppled over.

I would suggest combining them into two sentences, maybe something like this:

As he climbed up on it, it began to wobble precariously, and before he could adjust it, it toppled over.

I think it would improve the flow and make the action feel a little more urgent.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I felt for the poor gnome who tried his best and got injured in the process. He was resigned to his fate though, not that he could suddenly speak up and tell them he just needed a little repair (I assume that to the family, he was like any other garden gnome).

I wonder if Nomette was going to carry on his work. Maybe she could even rescue him from his grave, which would give the tale a nice ending. It was a lovely story, and I enjoyed the read.




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