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 Review #4838515 |
 | A Different Route Home  [18+] Daniel will do anything for her, even after she walked out…  |
| (4.5)  A review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  First Impressions: This story turned out to be a lot more eventful than I had anticipated. I listened to the song first, which was a very gentle version, so I didn’t expect the small but tense confrontation near the end. It made for a nice surprise though because otherwise, it would have all been too easy. When I say ‘easy’, I’m probably doing the main character a disservice. There was a lot of research that went into his endeavours before he could locate his wife, and his actions came at great personal cost - he lost his job when he suddenly had to take his vacation days. What I meant was, it wouldn’t have suited the character of Trent to simply let Myra go after he had gone to such lengths to make her fall for him and then keep her there. The opening was a little supernatural, with Daniel seeing Myra asking for help, which felt quite real at first but then turned out to be a dream. Luckily, Daniel decided to act on it anyway, and what he found out made him drop everything and come to Myra’s rescue. Right there at the start, the readers learned a lot about Daniel’s personality, and you filled in a few blanks as the story developed: He worked too much and didn’t pay Myra enough attention, which allowed Trent to weasel his way in. Myra didn’t come across as a very nice person. You’d assume that anyone in her position would try to fix their marriage first, at least try to talk to the other person, but it seemed that Daniel had no idea why she had left him. She explained everything to Trent, but not to him. Of course, the question is if he would have listened or if he needed this wake-up call to realise what he had and almost lost.  Suggestions: The story was very polished and I only have a few small suggestions: If she hadn't walked out… Ah, but if he hadn't been working on it so intensively. I stumbled over these lines. They are Daniel’s unspoken thoughts, so it’s fine for them to be fragmented, but I wonder if it would work better to have an ellipsis at the end as well to show the character’s thought is unfinished, rather than resolved. By the time he arrived to the suburbs of New Orleans I think that was meant to say “in the suburbs”. I’m unclean This reads heavily religious and might pull readers out of the story, since it sounds less like natural dialogue and more like a theological statement. I would consider rephrasing in a way that conveys her guilt and finality without religious overtones, unless you want religion itself to be central to the character’s identity - which doesn’t seem to be the case. I think something like “I’ve ruined everything” would fit the character and the situation better. And a final, general comment: I thought it was quite clear how you used the prompt in this story, and that part in the middle where he listened to the songs you had chosen and thought about how they made him feel seemed a little on-the-nose. The readers had already worked it out, and you explaining it felt unnecessary.  Final Thoughts: In the end, what struck me most was the contrast between Daniel’s inner paralysis at the start and his decisive action at the end. The story captured that shift very effectively, and it made the conclusion feel earned. At its heart, this was about second chances and the cost of neglect, and while Myra’s choices may not make her sympathetic to every reader, the tension and conflict around them felt authentic. I also appreciated that the resolution didn’t come too easily - Daniel had to fight, literally and figuratively, to reclaim what mattered to him, and the scars he took away from that struggle made the closing embrace feel more poignant. The story leaves a lasting impression: a reminder that love, once overlooked, can only be restored through painful self-awareness and action. That’s a powerful theme, and you weaved an intriguing story around it.
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You responded to this review 10/05/2025 @ 5:31am EDT