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 Review #4849670 |
Grandma's Computer  [E] Two young boys find Grandma's Computer, but what to do with it?  |
| (4.5)| A WdC SuperPowers Review Hi StephBee .I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Grandma's Computer" . Greetings. I recently embarked on a reviewing journey for each of the 96 genres recognized by WDC and listed under the Browse By Genre menu. I selected your offering as it contained the Computers genre, the next on my list.I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. I'm a bit envious of Mace and Ryker. I was much older and had a family of my own when my grandparents passed, so I never had the opportunity to 'seek treasure' in their attics.I did look up when the Intel Pentium Pro was introduced--it was on 1 November 1995. It's amazing how far society has come in 30 years (written with tongue in cheek). My first computer was the Texas Instruments TI-99 bought in the early 80's and stored my data on a cassette tape. I couldn't afford an Apple. The good ol' days, huh. Your story was a nostalgic look into the past. Good job adding Dad to the story. He was able to add the color needed for the story to be real. You don't tell us how old the children are, but I imagine around ten, plus or minus a couple years. Young enough to have great imaginations, old enough to understand what's happening. You captured the prompt perfectly. Your dialogue was just the right speed, moving your story along, and at the right level between a dad and two sons. I think your use of the Comic font helped capture the essence of the story.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. You have a great turn of the phrase. I especially liked: He imagined Grandma must have been so old she let pirates hide their treasure chests in the attic knowing that no one would dare to look up here for their loot. The following line read a mite awkwardly. I caught myself reading it several times. A suggestion follows: There appeared to be a bunch of code on the screen and a line was flashing. Before it said the word “Password.” A bunch of code appeared on the screen, ending with the word "Password" and followed by a flashing line. My Rating. 4.5.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE   For Best Reviewer  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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