  Horror/Scary
This week: Edited by: W.D.Wilcox  
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Considering that it was probably the end of the world, Maddie Pace thought she was doing a good job. Hell of a good job. She thought, in fact, that she just might be coping with the End of Everything better than anyone else on earth.
--‘Home Delivery’ a short story by Stephen King
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Beginnings: Hooking the Reader
I judge a story by it’s beginning. Is it catchy? Does it make me want to read more? Am I ‘hooked’ by the very first sentence?
In horror, it is that opening line, which sets the stage for terror.
When the scratching started, Howard was sitting alone in his apartment.
--“The Moving Finger” by Stephen King
There is no doubt, what you are getting into when you read that opening line. Although to hook your reader, it sometimes takes something a bit less obvious—more psychological if you will. Like this:
John Tell had been working at Capital Studios just over a month when he first noticed the sneakers.
--“Sneakers” by Stephen King
Sneakers? Well, that’s odd, what about the sneakers? This is a very clever way to hook your audience. It’s like a inkling of something that your brain can’t quite process unless it has more information. You are forced to read more.
I want to tell you about the end of war, the degeneration of mankind, and the death of the Messiah—an epic story, deserving thousands of pages and a whole shelf of volumes, but you (if there are any “you” later on to read this) will have to settle for the freeze-dried version.
--“The End of the Whole Mess” by Stephen King
This opening sentence is filled with what I call ‘hot buttons’. War, mankind, and the Messiah are all topics of interest to just about everyone because they have to deal with Life and Death, and these are things that people think about all the time. But the catcher is, “If there are any ‘you’ later on to read this”. Which means that this is a story about the end of the world, but it’s not going to be a long drawn out story. It’s going to be the short freeze-dried version. Now this is something that will make the reader feel they have time to read. They’re already hooked.
Jack tried to scream but shock robbed his voice and he was able to produce only a low, choked whuffling—the sound of a man moaning in his sleep.
--“The Ten O’Clock People” by Stephen King
This starts out with a bang. Somebody’s screaming, choking, and moaning—the perfect setup for a thriller. The reader immediately wants to know ‘why’ these things are happening.
Although she was only five, and the youngest of the Bradbury children, Melissa had very sharp eyes and it wasn’t really surprising that she was the first to discover something strange had happened to the house on Maple Street.
--“The House on Maple Street” by Stephen King
This is classic King here. He starts by telling you that this is a little girl, only five, and like all children with wild imaginations, she notices something strange is happening. The reader is drawn in immediately because we empathize with the plight of children—all children, we’ve been one ourselves, we know about that odd house at the end of the block that never seemed to quite fit in with everything else. We’ve seen it—real or imaginary.
Take time to practice writing opening lines. Just that first sentence or two, and then ask yourself: does it embody everything I had in mind for the story; does it set the right mood; does it want to make you read more; will it hook your reader?
Until next time,
billwilcox
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zwisis
Submitted Comment:
Thank you for highlighting the short but scary, W.D. It's an oft used refrain in my reviews of items written in the Horror genre.Great pic too!!! Made me nervous to read on!!!
Maimai J Saves for Upgrade 
Submitted Comment:
I. Hate. Rats. Why do you have to put pictures of rats in your NL? Eeww...
colorfulsilk
Submitted Comment:
I just wanted to say that you give me hope. I have not put any of my work out there because I do not feel that it is good enough. After reading what you have wrote I know now where I need to start and how to start on a different level. Thanks!
Submitted Comment:
Great newsletter, as usual, Bill. All very good points on horror writing (as best I can tell anyway). I especially liked the 'Short and Scary' advice. It was dead on, so to speak. Keep up the terrific newsletter-writing . . . man, when do you find time to sleep? Or do you?
daycare
Submitted Comment:
Good job! Your first tip is a great one. I always find my best stories are based on what I know a lot about. I think you need that to convince your readers. Character development is difficult and sometimes takes many edits. When you have done a good job, you get that feeling. You know the one W.D.!
Wendie
kelly1202
Submitted Comment:
Another outstanding newsletter, Bill. This one (like so many of yours) will be printed out and tucked into my file of helpful hints!Keep up the good work!
Octobers Lie
Submitted Comment:
Reading your newsletter flickered that tiny light bulb in my mind that has been dormant for sometime. Excellent newsletter, Bill.
iwill
Submitted Comment:
Just wanted to polish your apple a bit. I subscribe to 4 WDC newsletters. I do this to pull the nuggets from them that will help propel me forward. I occasionally get these nuggets from the other 3 newsletters, but I consistently get them from yours. Keep up the tremendous job.
Thanks,Don
Hopkin Green Frog
Submitted Comment:
Great newsletter, thanks for including my story :)Some great hints and tips in there, I love the way you equate paragraph length to film cutting, never thought of it that way but now you've said it it seems obvious, a sure sign of good advice!I always try to visualise what I'm writing as if it's a film, usually a silent one with an awesome soundtrack - could just be I'm avoiding writing dialogue because I find it really hard! In fact, I'm going to try and write something entirely dialogue based now, just to give myself the good kicking I deserve.
Cheers again,
Paddy
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Horror/Scary: May 17, 2006 Issue [#1039]
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