This week: Forced Rhyme Edited by: Warped Sanity More Newsletters By This Editor
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The dreaded comment from reviewers stating our rhyme feels forced is something all poets have heard at one time or another. Sometimes the fix is easy, and other times it includes reevaluating the wording of the lines altogether. In this newsletter I share some common types of forced rhyme. |
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You've spent hours perfecting a poem in a particular form, reading it over and over to make sure rhymes flow and meter is just right, while preserving the integrity of the poems meaning. Proud, you post it on WdC for everyone to see and then you get that first e-mail letting you know you have a review. The review states your rhyme feels forced, interrupting the flow of the poem, and your heart sinks. Then you're left with the question, "What does forced rhyme mean?". There are many reasons rhyme can feel forced, rather than flow fluidly through the poem.
Slant Rhyme
In various rhyme sites, where you can search words that rhyme, these words may be listed as near rhyme. This means they sound similar, but do not present a perfect rhyme. Some of these words might be deceiving due to their spelling. For example swamp and damp have the last three letters in common, but they are pronounced very differently.
Though, the acceptability of slant rhyme might be arguable. Some of the great famous poets, such as Emily Dickenson and W.B. Yeats, utilized it often in their own poetry. As a matter of fact, they made slant rhyme fashionable. Though, for us measly unknown poets, if it doesn't feel like it flows well to the reader, it can look like a mistake.
Wrenched Rhymes
In a wrenched rhyme, the ending sounds of the words are the same, but the accents are not on the same syllables. Often times this happens when someone adds a suffix at the end of a word to make it rhyme with a one syllable word.
They might take the one syllable word sting and attempt to rhyme it with biting.
The bee was biting
with a mighty sting.
The reason this rhyme would feel forced to the readers ears is because the first syllable of the world biting is stressed and the second syllable is unstressed. with a perfect rhyme, the stressed syllables rhyme.
Extending a Line to Add a Rhyme
Another common type of forced rhyme is when the writer extends the syllable count in a line to include a rhyme.
Her beauty shines
her age showing in smile lines
The only way to fix this is by either extending the syllable count per line in the poem or finding a new way to express your thoughts while retaining the shorter syllable count.
Her timeless beauty shines
Though age shows in smile lines
Or
Her beauty shines,
through her smile lines
Both examples here express the idea of an older female who's beauty is shown in her smile, yet they retain an equal syllable count.
Irrelevant or Unrelated Information
Sometimes out of frustration of not finding something to rhyme that adds to the theme of the poem, the poet might add a line that rhymes, but is totally unrelated. This causes the reader to pause in confusion.
The path wends to a fork
my sister is a dork.
Subject and Predicate Reversal
When we reverse the subject and predicate in poetry, it upsets the flow of the poem because it doesn't sound natural. Read the next two phrases and decide which one flows better, representing normal speech patterns.
She walked on sharpened shards of discontent
On sharpened shards of discontent, she walked
This is actually a common issue in my own poetry, which I am constantly having to correct. When I first began posting my poetry on WdC, someone actually left a review telling me one of my poems read like Yoda from Star Wars was speaking. That comment has always stuck with me, reminding me to watch for the Yoda in my poetry.
Homophones
Homophones are words which sound the same, yet are spelled differently. In poetry, when Homophones are used in rhyme it can give the impression like the writer didn't take the time to find more creative ways to express the sentiment in the line, so instead chose a word that sounded exactly like the word they were attempting to rhyme with. Sometimes this can be an easy fix with the use of a thesaurus. I'll give you an example from one of my own poems.
Our love at present, quilted snug, consoles
the loss of new, maturing patchwork sewn,
secure in solace, warmed by knowing souls.
This love, more sound in depth than flesh and bone,
which rises free of need for fluff or splurge,
was born by fire, but lingers comfort sown..
In this poetic form, the second line in the first stanza shown was supposed to rhyme with the third line in the stanza following it. Yes, sewn and sown appear to rhyme and have very different meanings, but a quick browse through a thesaurus helped to find a better rhyme, which gave the feel of a new word, rather than the same word being used.
Our love at present, quilted snug, consoles
the loss of new, maturing patchwork sewn,
secure in solace, warmed by knowing souls.
This love, more sound in depth than flesh and bone,
which rises free of need for fluff or splurge,
was born by fire, but lingers comfort grown.
Conclusion
After hours of contemplating the wording in a formed poem with fixed rhyme, it is easy to accidently created a forced rhyme. Once we have read it hundreds of times it appears to flow to us. The reality is, it often takes a fresh mind to spot the error. which is why the reviewer often catches it and not the writer. Though, as the writer we can step away from the finished writing, then return to it with a fresh mind. Often times a small break from the particular writing piece will give the writer the ability to look at it with fresh eyes, hence making forced rhyme more noticeable.
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