I considered sneaking out in the night and adding some graffiti to two signs I passed on the way to the grocery today. One is in front of some chemical tanks and says, "Tanks" "Tanks" "Tanks." I want to go paint, "You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome."
Too tempting, isn't it? Your second one is likely to get us both in trouble, but I thought it was funny… -- Jessiebelle
"Chocolate soup" sounds better than "burnt, can't-get-it-off-the-pan" chocolate! One of my best friends and I tried to make fudge for Christmas presents one year when we were roommates in college. We did it on a day when we also made five different batches of cookies, and by the time we got to the fudge, we were dead tired. We followed the recipie exactly...but when we poured it in the pan, it wouldn't set and tasted weird, like burnt chocolate toast. We did finally give some of it away, but my boyfriend ate most of it!
Some of us just aren’t that picky about our chocolate. -- Jessiebelle
What a delightful chicken soup/chocolate soup newsletter! I am a lousy cook, but I was inspired by the humor and simplicity of the whole-chicken soup recipe, and, frankly, the only way I can cook is to sing, so possibly I could do this. I even have a can of College Inn chicken broth in my cupboard. All I lack is the noodles and the whole chicken. And, surely, if I would ever attempt fudge, I would get soup! Thanks for the fun!
So, have you tried it yet? -- Jessiebelle
I got your chicken soup, but I just wonder why you had to discard the "inedibles" in the chicken. Here in the Philippines, we eat everything in the chicken. (Of course, not the feathers.)
“…not the feathers”? Hah… I know better. I read " Invalid Entry" ! -- Jessiebelle
Another funny one, Jessiebelle™. Food and recipes can be quite comical. I do think sometimes our older relatives enjoy leaving out important things when they pass on recipes.
Sad to think that’s one of the few entertainments left to the elderly, some days, isn’t it? My grandmother also delighted in calling squirrels chipmunks, just because it irritated my aunt and made her think her mother was senile (well before she truly was). -- Jessiebelle
Jessie,
Thank you for a great newsletter. You brought back memories of the Nancy Drew Cookbook my grandmother gave me and the intriguing results of a recipe for Peanut Butter Soup. Needless to say my mother was kind enough not to force me to finish my lunch that day. :)
Nighala
I used to have a Winnie the Pooh cookbook. I tried to write my own version, using nothing but tomatoes and honey in the recipes… -- Jessiebelle
I have tons of wayward cooking stories from my own lifetime. Thanks for sharing your mother's blunders with Writing.Com, Holly.
Maybe we should collaborate on a book! -- Jessiebelle
Jessie, I have a recipe for microwave fudge that is sooooo easy, and it tastes like the old fashioned kind. Ummm ummm good. Want me to pass it on to you?
Oh, yum… I think I may actually be able to pull that off - thanks, Viv! That looks wonderful! -- Jessiebelle
I have the perfect recipe for fudge! It never fails.
Ingredients
1 car
some money
1 driver
Directions
Drive to Walmart.
Buy some fudge.
Come home.
Eat it. (sometimes 'come home' and 'eat it' change positions in the directions)
Oh, dear. You and I think too much alike. That doesn’t bode well for you, Dog Freek. -- Jessiebelle
Jessiebelle™
I can only imagine how your mother and my sister could butcher a dinner party if given the chance. My sister tries hard, but she is the worst cook I've ever met. You know it's dinner at her house because the dinner bell summons us all to help clear the smoke from the room and get the bell to shut off. Either that or someone manages to get the battery out so we can eat her burnt offerings in peace - before they get stone cold.
Kimmer, when my husband and I were dating, I lived in a tiny apartment - 400 sq. feet - and I knew his steak was done to his liking after the third time the smoke alarm went off. I’m sure the neighbors wished I dated a vegetarian. --Jessiebelle
Please God! The opening story isn't comedy! It's a slightly sentimental, vaguely amusing tale about someone reminiscing about his mother! This is comedy if you're senile, and a good laugh might possibly give you a heart-attack! Tell me where the comedy is there, please?! The fact that this sentimental drivel is obviously imoportant to someone (the writer and the demented) is not enough to warrant this verbal diarroeha appearing here!
Not everyone can be a fan. But it’s not nice to fling the **** AT the fans, just to watch it hit. --Jessiebelle
If this should appear anywhere, it should be in a letter from a grandmother to a caring and slightly put upon daughter who puts up with this nonsense becuase of a familial obligation. All well and good in the right circumstances, but so far removed from comedy as to be comparable to an amoeba and an accountant. Where did you get this pestilencial wordplay from? An old people's home? But this in a family newsletter! Not comedy!
It’s “pestilential.” And damn, I really thought I could get by with recycling this for my community service newsletter for the old folks’ home and no one would notice. (I only have 300 hours to go. Don’t ask.) Did you hear the one about the amoeba who walked into the accountant’s office…? (Anyone want to attempt to finish that one?) --Jessiebelle
I therefore suggest a challenge to the comedy editor's - find something genuinely funny - maybe five pieces of work and e-mail them to as many people on this sight (whether they request them or not - deletion is only a key) as possible, and ask them if any of them are genuinely funny (not chucklingly funny becuase 'granny did that once back in the old days' lets tell the children and bore them bloody senseless - I mean actual laughter funny)!!!
If it comes back and it's granny humour, I shall admit my fault and not darken this letter with my writing again!
Otherwise don't burden us all with this misnamed dirge that is the antithesis of humour.
Sincerely,
Johnny66
I’m not going to start spamming members for your amusement, Johnny, but I will take you up on your challenge. Dear Readers, submitted for your opinion (are these “actual laughter funny”?)
I didn’t bust a gut, Johnny, but then I barely cracked a smile at “The Bald Soprano,” either - and you, sir, are no Eugene Ionesco. --Jessiebelle
And graffiti as an art form?! Has the Louvre been eradicated by a misplaced missile so that we're scrabbling around for crap (literally) from toilets to fill the vacuum left by the distruction of real art? Are you, indeed, mental? I don't think I've found any comedy in these comedy newsletters, this makes them more depressing than a day at Disneyland. With added Mickey Mouse.
You’re just angry, still, over the fact that Duchamp's Fountain beat out works by Picasso and Matisse to be named the most influential work of modern art. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4059997.stm) Sadly, I have to agree with you, if that’s the case… --Jessiebelle
Oh, by the *** **** way, a funny piece of intellectual graffiti is the classic,
God is dead
Nietzsche
and underneath was written:
Nietzsche is dead,
God.
Now that is funny and intellectual - But it isn't nothing!!!!!!!!!
Again,
Johnny66
Ahh, so even you are not immune. Gets pretty boring staring at the undecorated wall in front of the urinal (art) doesn’t it, Johnny? --Jessiebelle
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