This week: Sharing Life's Loving Memories Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas More Newsletters By This Editor
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Grieving is very personal and we all heal in our own time. There are things you can take note of while a loved one is still alive. What special symbols or quirky memories come to your mind that remind you of that loved one? |
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Faith, hope and love brings us strength during difficult times in life. If you believe in a higher power, you turn to that faith and trust that there is a meaningful purpose for each and every one of us. Sometimes we don’t understand the what and the why. And then, something clicks...
Hello, folks. I am WebWitch, your guest editor of this week's Spiritual Newsletter.
In April, my sister-in-law was reaching her final days in this world, due to her level 4 Alzheimer's. My brother did everything he could to show her love and make her feel safe and secure in the nursing care unit where she spent her final months. He visited everyday and was well known by the staff and even some of the patients who began to think of him as their family. Sad that their own families didn't think they were worth a visit just because of their Alzheimer's.
I was still in Florida and keeping in contact with my brother over any news of her further decline. He said it's time to come back she won't live out the week. And so it was.
He was making preparations ahead of her passing for the burial site, wake and funeral. He told me he didn't realize how much detail needed to be worked out. Of course his son and daughter would do all that they could, but, they too were grieving for their mother.
I remembered when our mother died and how we siblings were on autopilot trying to get all the details worked out. I knew his grief for the loss of his wife of 52 years was blocking answers to his questions of how to honor a lifetime with her. He asked for my help.
Symbolic Reminders
The long stem red rose:
It was a few days before she took her final breath while I was talking on the phone to brother about things to celebrate her life that have deep meaning for him as it pertains to her. The first thing that came to my mind was the single, long stem red rose she carried on their wedding day. I told him she should be holding that in her hand for the viewing. He said he had forgotten that detail. Husband's don't so much remember what the bride carries in her hand while walking down the aisle. She was his wild Irish rose, after all.
The Pink Plaid Hat:
My sister-in-law wore a pink outfit and a funky, pink plaid sun hat on her head. She smiled broadly and boldly in that photo taken on the day of their 50th Wedding Anniversary. She had already known the diagnoses of Alzheimer's but was still walking, and doing many of the things she enjoyed, until she couldn't and her brain forgot how to walk. She hit level 4 Alzheimer's that quickly.
My brother loved the idea of those symbols of their life together and included them in the funeral plans.
Unexpected Surprises:
The Teddy bear, and how a symbolic item can take on a spiritual manifestation of its own.
My sister-in-law celebrated a birthday in the nursing home a couple months before she passed. I sent flowers along with a teddy bear. I wanted her to feel special and to hold something at night to make her feel secure. It was her last birthday, and I was still in Florida. Her decline came in March where she couldn't feed herself, then unable to even swallow solid food. Her brain simply forgot that part. That little bear was with her up to the end. I'm happy she was able to enjoy the warmth, feel the love throughout those nights.
I got the phone call I dreaded because I knew my brother would be so devastated even though this end was expected. He was with her at the end, holding her hand when she let go of this world. The next day, he returned to her room to pick up the rest of her belongings. He was on the phone with me and broke into tears and sent me a photo from her room.
There on her bed was the teddy bear with a long stem red rose right next to it. My brother never told the staff about the red rose we had been discussing, yet it was there, like a sign from above.
Also, her phone's email had no picture/avatar with it. When he looked through his last messages from his wife after she passed away, it had a rose as an avatar. He was shocked. It wasn't there before.
So you see, folks, symbols of loved ones are left behind as remembrances of how they touched our life in such a profound way.
Thank you for sharing your time with me today. Remember to Remember those meaningful times. Perhaps we'll meet again on another edition of the Spiritual Newsletter.
Keep the light shining upon your spirit.
WebWitch
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