This week: On Friendship Edited by: NaNoKit More Newsletters By This Editor
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How do you make - and keep - friends as an adult? Why is your best friend your best friend? It is good to have friends, but not always easy to find the right friend for you.
This week's Drama Newsletter, then, is all about friendship.
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How many friends have you got? How many close friends, who know everything about you, and are there for you through thick and thin?
My first best friend was Patricia. We met when we were in kindergarten. We actually didn’t get along at first. She stabbed my hand with a pencil. For some reason, though, after that we became pretty much inseparable. Making friends at that age is easy. You can simply ask someone if they want to be your friend and that’s that. When you’re angry at each other, you declare your friendship over, but then you make peace and all’s well. It would be nice if it were like that when you’re an adult. It would sure make everything a lot easier than it is.
My other good friend in primary school was Edwin. We’d walk hand in hand and tell everyone we were going to get married when we grew up. That didn’t happen, but it was fun at the time. Patricia, Edwin, Mala and Mirella were who I hung out with the most. When it was time to go to high school, though, everything changed. None of us were headed for the same school. Suddenly, I was on my own.
It was lonely, those first days in high school. It’s hard to face all those new kids, and all those new teachers. You’re only twelve, after all. I still had My Little Ponies! Luckily, there was a girl who was in the same boat. One lunch break she walked up to me and declared that since I didn’t yet have a friend, and she didn’t yet have a friend, we were now friends. Thank you, Leila. The direct tactic really works on me. We were best friends for the next couple of years, until we went down different educational paths and Sandy and Anouk took over. In fact, I had a nice group of friends for those final years of high school. Many excellent memories were made at that place, from survival camp to a fashion show that still makes my mom laugh whenever she thinks of it. Which is more often than you’d think.
The world of work introduced me to some nice people, especially when I worked for the police. It was slightly different, though – I was usually the youngest, and therefore at a different stage of life than the others. And when I moved to the UK, I had to start all over again. Different people accompany you at different times, it seems. You learn and grow together for a while, and then you part. It’s both beautiful and sad. It’d be nice to have someone there with you all along.
Some of my grandmother’s friendships lasted for decades. My uncle’s still best friends with someone he met at boy scouts – they’ll be pensioners this year! It can happen, but it hasn’t happened to me, and since I am socially awkward and pretty terrible at maintaining a friendship when I don’t see someone every day (like I did at school), it can get a little lonely. Thank goodness I have a husband, and a sister who will pester me when I fall silent.
How do you make friends when you’re older, though? How do you find your people? I have met some wonderful people here on Writing.Com. We have had some excellent laughs, especially during the live events that we had. Unfortunately, everyone’s too far apart to go for a cup of tea together, and the local writing group is filled with people who take themselves far too seriously to enjoy the company of someone who writes stories about shy octopi and bauble-nicking owls.
I guess it may yet happen. Just because it hasn’t happened for me in this area, doesn’t mean it cannot happen elsewhere. Perhaps I’ll meet my crowd. It’d be nice. Have you found yours? I hope that you have.
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