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Comedy: January 17, 2024 Issue [#12367]




 This week: Where did my winter's summer go?
  Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

I love being a snowbird. I get the best of both worlds. New England milder summers and Florida winters at the beach and by the pool.
Except ...


Word from our sponsor

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Letter from the editor


Hello from the windy, chilly, rainy, non-beach weather of supposed sunny South Florida. We Northerners who are snowbirds pay to stay and play in the South-land. We want our winters to be summer. Yes, that’s right, Summers are brief up North so I look forward to the extended summer known as winter in Florida. I can’t even imagine how upset Northerners are who spend a week or two of vacation time coming to Florida, expecting to relax on the beach and then head back North flashing an envious tan in front of those pale friends and relatives. They certainly got the shaft this past holiday season!

I guess it’s been a crazy weather year everywhere it seems. And don’t even try to talk to me about climate change, global warming, global cooling – it’s weather, it happens. Massachusetts had an easy winter last year, hardly any snow storms. They got hit recently with snow footage. Okay, that’s the kind of weather I would expect in New England. But always when I get South, there’s lots of sunshine and free vitamin D to soak up with the rays. Not this season. Nope, the amount of cloudy, stormy days over sunny days has been dominant.

Then, just when I’d given up all hope of soaking up the rays and getting my Florida back, the temperatures rose and the sun blazed through the former space covered by clouds. I headed to the pool and noticed nobody there. Where could they be? It’s hot and sunny! On closer inspection approaching the gate to the pool I saw the dreaded sign: “Closed for heater replacement and maintenance.”

Excuse me? This couldn’t have been done on the cloudy, chillier days? Bad timing or a bad joke? It’s just plain cruel! I know, I know, all of you living in the colder regions are yelling at this newsletter and saying, “Cry more, Web witch! How dare you complain when even on the chillier days the temperature only dropped to the 50’s at night. C’mon, cry again!!!” *Shock2* Okay, gee, sorry, I didn’t mean to rock the ‘Honeybell oranges are here,” cart. *Angelic* Those are delicious!

All of everything aside. One day of sunshine with a juicy orange and the soothing sound of waves crashing on the shore while pelicans fly over, makes it easy to forget these days of darkness I’ve had to experience for a couple weeks. *Rolleyes*

I know what you’re thinking, “I hope one of those huge pelicans drops one from above right over your juicy Honeybell orange!”

Sorry folks. I deserved that. Maybe I’ll be in a much better mood next month after getting my money’s worth of sunny, seaside vitamin D saturation while working on my tan.


This is a wrap for this rant about the weather. See you next month when I’m tanner and my mood is sunnier. *Sun*

Until next time—laugh hard, laugh often!


This is one of my new sigs


Editor's Picks

 Cold, Eh? Open in new Window. (E)
In Canada, citizens are obsessed with their wintery weather.
#2076995 by SandraLynn Author IconMail Icon


STATIC
Dear Zuck, Bez, and the Umbrella Corp. Open in new Window. (18+)
An open letter concerning the weather
#2154930 by JayNaNoOhNo Author IconMail Icon


 
STATIC
The Weather Report Open in new Window. (E)
Some conversations are only confusing to those who have them. A Writer's Cramp Entry
#1955149 by 🌕 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon


 Winter in Las Vegas Open in new Window. (E)
The difference between the way locals and tourist perceive the weather
#1367080 by Prosperous Snow celebrating Author IconMail Icon


 Global Warming Open in new Window. (E)
This is the rewritten poem about winter.
#1065825 by humorous_sage Author IconMail Icon


Submitted item: *Bigsmile*

 You See Me Open in new Window. (E)
Being in a small town and not finding anyone who sees you for who you are.
#2310558 by Bee Baumann Author IconMail Icon

 
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Word from Writing.Com

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Ask & Answer

Bee Baumann Author IconMail Icon

Thank you for this Xmas story, which is brilliant. I will keep my eye out for your newsletter now. I have formed a group for comedy, "Humor Writers PatchOpen in new Window..

Hello Bee! Welcome to WDC. Thank you for your feedback. *Bigsmile* I'm so pleased you enjoyed the December Newsletter. Thank you for sharing your group for comedy, and the story you posted. Humorous indeed! *Ha*


A couple responses to last month's question:

I'll get right to the point. Do you like those holiday blow-up yard decorations?

NaNotatoGo! Author IconMail Icon

Sometimes yes sometimes no. My next door neighbor put up one in front of their house that has long, draggled hair. Inside it is a light that makes the whole thing have an eerie blue glow when fully inflated.


SandraLynn Author IconMail Icon

They have infiltrated my Canadian village. My favourite outdoor, festive decoration remains coloured lights, a rainbow.


Wordsmitty ✍️ Author IconMail Icon

I've seen some yard decorations that I'd like to blow up.

oldgreywolf on wheels Author IconMail Icon

No.

I wonder how long it took Madison Avenue to come up with their propaganda, I mean, marketing ploy, to get them so widespread.


ahunkahunkaburninlove Author IconMail Icon

When I worked for the Town of Maiden riding the leaf truck, I saw a huge yard decoration with the letters J-O-Y. The J had fallen down, so it just said OY. I always wondered whether that was intentional or simply a Freudian fall. Either way, I thought it was hilarious!

And yes, I do like the blow-up decorations. That said, the yards with hundreds of decorations are doing way too much.



There were many more. People sure have their opinions on blow up decorations during the holidays! *Laugh*




See you next month, folks!


*Witch*


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