  Noticing Newbies
This week: Sharpen the Hook Edited by: esprit  
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Welcome to the Noticing Newbies Newsletter! Our goal is to showcase some of our newest Writing.Com Authors and their items. From poetry and stories to creative polls and interactives, we'll bring you a wide variety of items to enjoy. We will also feature "how to" advice and items that will help to jump start the creation process on Writing.com
We hope all members of the site will take the time to read, rate, review and welcome our new authors. By introducing ourselves, reviewing items and reaching out, we will not only make them feel at home within our community, we just might make new friends!
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If In Doubt, Leave It Out
Sharpen the Hook
Why only 13 lines? These days, overworked editors are only going to look at that much of your story. If it intrigues them, they will read more. If it doesn't, they will read not one word further. Thus the opening is your one shot to have your work taken seriously. It has to be good. I don't want to read any whining along the lines of "it gets better later on," or "I was just trying to set up the background."
http://www.deepgenre.com/wordpress/damon-knight/
As a reviewer, I try to hammer this fact home as often and as firmly as possible. In a short story, you really do have to hook the audience with the very first sentence. With a novel, you probably have the luxury of using an entire paragraph to snare them.
 What is a Hook?
First, it is not a long line - it is an attention grabber. It might be only one or two words, but it's strong. It's exciting. It grabs an emotion of the reader immediately and they want to find out more. It hooks them in, then you have to hold them so they don't get away. 
Find a likely spot somewhere in the middle for one or two more, and then put your last 'best of the best' line at the end. Some experts advise placing a new hook at the end of every paragraph in the form of a question or new problem, but I think at the end of every page is okay, as long as it beckons to the reader. Keeping them inside your world and turning the page is the goal. Don't think one big hook is all you need; leaving small, sharp ones throughout the work is necessary to hold them.
Find the FIND button
One of the most common traits of new writers that I notice, is the tendency to repeat favorite phrases and words. Everyone does it to some extent, and sometimes it's needed. We are here to learn when it's okay, and when it turns to wordiness. In almost all of my given feedback, I advise the author to lose the repetition and cut the wordiness. I point out examples so they will understand what is needed, and what is not.
You have a 'Find' option in the edit link of your word processor and on your browser. It is useful for finding overused words. Don't lose your readers in a sea of phrases and words that bog down the story like quicksand. Trying to get to the main point is just too difficult when wading through a bunch of extras, such as 'and'. You will learn to trim and tighten so individual words are not noticed at all, and only the story shines through.
Your readers will love it. 
Thanks for reading, I hope it was useful.
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This one was chosen as an excellent example of a good beginning.
These were chosen because they're good.
SUBMITTED BY AUTHOR OR OTHER MEMBER
Submitted By: howstheweather
Submitted Item:
Submitted Comment: This is a short story about a gay teen boy finding out what's REALLY important in life. Day-to-day, he gets caught up in petty things, when really there is so much more to worry about. Toward the end of the story, he sees this.
I'd like you to consider this piece as I'd really appreciate some help getting it out there. I wrote it with the intention that anyone--gay or straight, male or female--could relate to it. Thank you! =)
You're welcome, glad to do it.
Remember to read your neighbor's work too!
helpful links section
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Comments on "Invalid Entry"
Submitted By: hello?
Submitted Comment: very informative and welcoming! i hope writing.com and i will develop a relationship that helps us both grow. thanks!
blessed be~skytreewillow
Thank you, skytreewillow, I hope so too.
Submitted By: terryjroo
Submitted Comment:
Esprit,
Great newsletter about abuse of memberships and rules. One note about scroll - new users need to be reminded that above the messages next to the word "Scrolling" are several symbols - one of them being a question mark. By clicking on this you will get a pop up box with the rules and a link to 'Enter your "ASR" Rated message' that everyone should read before using scroll. Remember that abuse of the ASR-rating in scroll can lose you your privileges.
Thanks,
Ter
Thanks for the reminder, Terry.
They can also find the link by clicking on the words 'Enter Your ASR Message' located at the message window itself. They should read it carefully, ASR words are much cleaner than 13+. What type of soap is used this month for washing their mouths? Lye or gentle Ivory?
Submitted By: raeburk01
Submitted Comment: Thank you for including my piece in the newsletter. That was nice of you! Great newsletter!
You're welcome, and thank you, too!
Submitted By: ElizabethHayes-DaughterofIAM 
Submitted Comment: Hello there! I just re-subscribed to this newsletter. I enjoy it because of the exposure it helps give to other writers. I also use it as a tool for doing ratings/reviews. Great job y'all! I look forward to receiving each issue. Have a great day!
And we appreciate you reading the new members. I hope you find the letters useful in their content, too.
We always appreciate the feedback, thanks!
Editors:
Cubby 
Puditat
laurencia
Your host this week is esprit |
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Noticing Newbies: August 30, 2006 Issue [#1237]
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