This week: Family Matters Edited by: NaNoKit  
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What is the best lesson your family has taught you? What was the worst?
Family matters not just to us, but to our characters - hero and villain alike.
This week's Drama Newsletter, then, is all about family.
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Family matters. We are born to them, and are usually raised by them; therefore we are influenced by their care, or the lack thereof. From our earliest moments we are exposed to the way that they see the world – their views, their morals, their perception of the universe and everything in it. They select the school that we go to, the religious gatherings we attend (if they attend), the books that we read, the food that we eat – at least in our earliest years. Our parents/guardians are our world, and that shapes who we are as a child and, later, an adult.
None of us live in a vacuum. I know that I like to see myself as a unique individual and I am, in some ways, but I cannot deny that if I’d grown up in a different environment, with a different culture and different opportunities my life’s path would be different, and what effect that would have on my personality I do not know. Those born into a religion are more likely to adopt that religion than a faith that they’re rarely exposed to. Those born into wealth are likely to receive greater educational support and more opportunities to explore and develop their skills and talents, improving their chances at a career in that direction – more so than someone who cannot afford the right lessons, or equipment, or transport to relevant matches.
The child who is loved, and supported, and encouraged in their goals is more likely to succeed than the child who is abused, neglected, and told that they are a failure no matter what they do. This isn’t set in stone – the first child may yet struggle and the second child may create a wonderful life for themselves. People are complex beings, as are the circumstances that they find themselves in. It is clear, however, that one’s chance at happiness is improved significantly by good parenting, and a loving family who’s got your back.
There is no one perfect picture of what this looks like. In some cultures families stick close together, with multiple generations sharing a home. In others, children are encouraged to leave the nest at a relatively young age. Definitions of success differs, too – some value marriage and children over a steady climb of the career ladder. Whatever success looks like for someone, the question is whether or not they have been equipped with the tools to achieve this goal. Is it within easy reach, or will they struggle to get there?
As writers, a character’s family is interesting to explore. Do they have people to turn to? Are these people safe, loving individuals? Have they built your character up or steadily undermined them? I read an interesting novel a while ago called Spoiler Alert, by Olivia Dade, in which an actor is a huge disappointment to his high-achieving parents. He is dyslexic, and instead of offering him care and support they consider him lazy and let no opportunity pass to express their disapproval. It doesn’t matter to them that he’s a part of a hugely successful TV series because they do not consider the series to be up to their intellectual standards. Naturally, the treatment he receives is devastating to the actor and leads to long-lasting negative self-perception.
There are people who do not know one or both of their biological parents. This can also affect their perception of the self. I have a wonderful dad, but I do not know my biological father, nor my biological father’s family. I feel fortunate to have a positive paternal figure and am grateful for his care, but I cannot deny that over the years I have felt a kind of void in my sense of where I come from and where, exactly, I belong. I do not know if I look like my biological father. I do not know if I have any of his traits. I do not know if I have any other brothers or sisters, aunts or uncles, nephews or nieces. I have never had sufficient information to find out. After a long period of hesitation, mainly because of data concerns, I have purchased a DNA testing kit but it’s a long shot. Any results would depend on if any relative on that side has also decided to carry out a test from that exact company. It does not help that I live in a different nation now than the one I was born in.
The search for identity and belonging is another interesting avenue for writers. What creates a solid sense of belonging? Can it be built or rebuilt after decades of absence? What happens when it is destroyed?
Family matters, to us and to the characters we create. Whether you’re writing a hero or a villain, someone brought them into the world. Who are they? What have they done?
NaNoKit
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Drama: June 26, 2024 Issue [#12612]
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