This week: Oh, geez! Not this AGAIN! Edited by: Lilli 🧿 ☕ More Newsletters By This Editor
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Thoughts on writing by writers...
"Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it's the only way you can do anything really good."
~ William Faulkner
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
"I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within."
~ Gustave Flaubert
"Writing is its own reward."
~ Henry Miller
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The concept of ‘Show vs. Tell’ can be hard to grasp and takes some effort to get the hang of. I assure you, taking the time to learn and practice the technique will pay off in your writing. You may even see an increase in your readership and the reviews you receive.
Before we get started allow me to summarize what Show vs. Tell is! Showing is about using description and action to help the reader experience the story. When readers can visualize what's happening, they tend to keep reading. Telling is when the author summarizes or uses exposition to simply tell the reader what is happening which is not as enticing for readers.
In this newsletter, I’ll provide some examples so that you can see and understand the contrast. At the end, I will also give you some resources that will help as you practice this in your writing.
Telling:
George misses his father.
Showing:
Charles walked out to the garage where his father's sports car used to be. He poked around
at his father's work bench. He picked up a hammer, felt its heft, set it back down, and sighed.
Telling:
The baby doesn't like mashed potatoes.
Showing:
Carol slipped the spoonful of mashed potatoes into the baby's mouth. His eyes got wide. He made a face, spit them back out again, and screamed with displeasure.
Telling:
The neighbors are having a party.
Showing:
Samantha got up and shut the window, shaking her head, she could still hear the music. The bass was so loud that her sofa shimmied on every downbeat. She looked at her watch. It was five minutes until nine. Just five minutes until they would be in violation of the noise
ordinance. Five minutes until she could call the cops.
Telling:
The dog heard a noise.
Showing:
Toby’s ears pricked up. He cocked his head to the side for a moment, then erupted into a frenzy of barking that caused Jill to drop her coffee cup.
Telling:
Carl was hungry.
Showing:
Carl opened the refrigerator and pulled out a container of cold chicken. As he devoured a chicken leg, he opened one of the crisper drawers and snatched up an unopened clamshell of
blueberries. Jackpot!
Telling:
Rachel thought the movie was boring.
Showing:
Rachel looked at her watch. She studied her fingernails for a few minutes. Then she sighed. But her husband’s eyes were glued to the television. Seriously? Rachel sighed again. Louder this time while looking right at him.
While these may not be the best examples of showing, they give you an idea about how and where to fine-tune your narratives.
As promised, here are a few resources to help as you work on your techniques:
https://jerryjenkins.com/show-dont-tell/
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Comments received from my last For Authors newsletter, "Spell Check and Auto-correct" :
brom21 said:
"I didn't write my answers down, but I am sure I only missed one or two if at all. lol. This was fun! Thank you for the challenge!"
Thank you!
Maryann said:
"I loved your newsletter, Lilli. Autocorrect hates me, I'm sure.
For example, once when I was traveling, my daughter texted me between flights to see how I was doing. I texted back to tell her that I had a bad headache, so I was going to get some Tequila so that I'd feel better on the next plane.
Of course, that was auto-correct messing with me. I could hear it laughing through my phone. I meant to write Tylenol, but autocorrect had other plans for the message to my daughter.
She always brings that up, thinking it was so funny! I guess it was! "
Maybe it's just me, but seems like autocorrect gave you some sound advice, lol.
Write_Mikey_Write! said:
"18 four for 18! "
Good one, Mike!
Fivesixer said:
"I definitely read that AA Milne quote in Pooh's voice! "
Same here! |
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