This week: The Same, Just Different Edited by: Lilli 🧿 ☕ More Newsletters By This Editor
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"The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance."
~ Brian Tracy, Canadian-American motivational speaker
"Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is."
~ Jim Morrison, American singer-songwriter and poet
"I release all criticism. I only give out that which I wish to receive in return. My love and acceptance of others is mirrored to me in every moment."
~ Louise Hay, American motivational speaker and author
"Those who love others grandly are those who love themselves grandly. Those who have a high
toleration and acceptance of others are those who have a high toleration and acceptance of themselves. You cannot show another a part of you that you cannot show yourself. Therefore, begin where all growth, where all evolution, where all love must begin; with the person
in the mirror."
~ Neale Donald Walsch, American author
"The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours."
~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Swiss-American psychiatrist
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One thing that makes WdC so wonderful is that there are members here from various parts of the world, all with varied experiences, and of all ages. Some of us communicate using languages and that trickle down into the way we write. Our community comprises folks with different spiritual beliefs as well — and that’s where things seem to get tricky.
The intention behind this newsletter is to provide recommendations on how we can navigate the spiritual waters between us in a friendly way, particularly when it comes to reviewing one another’s writing.
Being open to all religious beliefs might seem like a tall order, but regardless of what people believe, we all have more in common than differences. For one thing, we are all on WdC because of our love of writing. When reviewing one another’s writing, we need to look at each piece as a writer and reader, not as a spiritual scholar. When we criticize a writer’s belief or proselytize, it may be seen as a personal attack and does not contribute to improving their writing skills.
This week, we will discuss a few ways to help bridge the spiritual waters that seem to separate us. Keep in mind that these conversations should take place outside of any reviews.
Remember that everyone has a valid reason for believing what they do.
Many people are religious because their upbringing instilled them with religious traditions during their early family life. Others find religion because of a tragedy in their life or find special meaning in a particular spiritual practice. If you understand why people want to live their lives a certain way, it’s easier to respect their religious choice.
You could say, “I believe what I do because it was a big part of my family’s routine. Would you mind sharing where your beliefs come from?”
Understand that not everyone will want to talk about their connection to religion. Rather than pressing them for an answer, accept this and find someone else to talk to.
If you have a friend willing to educate you, consult them for knowledge.
Remember that it’s not someone else’s job to teach you about their beliefs. However, you can ask a friend if they’re willing to talk to you about it. So long as you ask politely and show a genuine desire to educate yourself, they most likely will be happy to help.
While this can be a great way to learn about different religions more personally, do some research beforehand. That way, anyone you ask for help can see you’ve already attempted to learn!
“I realized I wanted to know more about other religions. I did some research, but there were a few concepts that confused me. Would you be willing to explain them?”
“I’m trying to be more open to other religious beliefs, and while research has been really enlightening, I thought talking to someone might help. No pressure, but I’d love to hear your perspective on this.”
Let people explain their religion without interrupting them or getting defensive.
Listen to what others say (or read what they’ve written) rather than spending all your time thinking about how to respond. Pay attention to their words, tone, and emotions when discussing their religion. It’ll help you understand—and respect other beliefs.
Create an open dialogue.
Throw out all your assumptions beforehand and embrace your curiosity. Explain your own religious beliefs without trying to convert anyone and use inclusive dialogue for all religions when you speak. Ask thoughtful and respectful questions that help you get on the same page as your peers from other religious backgrounds and gain a deeper understanding of the world around you.
For example, if you approach an open dialogue as a Christian, don’t ask someone a question that assumes there’s a singular God. That’s your belief, but someone who practices Hinduism believes in many gods.
Most importantly, stay calm and resist the urge to argue about religion.
It’s easy for tempers to flare and defenses to come up when you’re talking about your beliefs and listening to people describe theirs. Remind yourself that everyone has the right to personal beliefs and opinions, just like you. Only reply when you can do so with calm and kindness.
If you become angry, it is acceptable to politely excuse yourself and rejoin the conversation when you feel calm.
For example: “This is a sensitive subject for me. I want to be more open, but I think I need to cool off. Can we come back to this in a few minutes?”
Ask yourself, “How would I feel if they disrespected my religion to me?” When you put yourself in the shoes of people who follow different religious beliefs (or those who don’t believe in any religion), you can understand why respecting all beliefs is important. Focus on being kind, polite, and treating people how you want to be treated. If you show respect to others, they’ll show you more respect in return!
Empathy is vital when discussing religion because many people hold it close to their hearts.
A final note about reviewing:
If you find it difficult or troubling to review pieces that reflect spirituality that differs from your own, consider looking for something else in the author's port. |
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