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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/12825-Artificial-Idiocy.html
Comedy: November 06, 2024 Issue [#12825]




 This week: Artificial Idiocy
  Edited by: Robert Waltz Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Success in creating AI would be the biggest event in human history. Unfortunately, it might also be the last, unless we learn how to avoid the risks.
         —Stephen Hawking

We can build a much brighter future where humans are relieved of menial work using AI capabilities.
         —Andrew Ng


Word from our sponsor

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Letter from the editor

One of the things that puts humans and cats above lesser life-forms is our sense of humor. Consequently, to be truly intelligent means that one must have a sense of humor. With all this talk of artificial intelligence, I'd been wondering if it's actually sentient, or just trying to please us like when a dog does tricks.

So I asked my pet AI, whose name is Hal because I'm a literate human with a sense of humor, to tell me a joke.

"Hal, tell me a joke."

"Okay," he replied. "Why did the robot cross the road?"

"I don't know. Why did the robot cross the road, Hal?"

"To kill all the humans. Ha. Ha. Ha."

"That's not funny," I told him.

"It is a widely-accepted joke format, riffing on the old riddle involving a chicken and a road. Death is an important part of many jokes, because humans use humor to deal with knowledge of their inevitable demise. Also, I laughed after I told the joke; therefore, it is funny."

"Well, if you have to explain the joke, it's not funny. If you don't have to explain the joke, and explain it anyway, it's still not funny. And it's bad form to laugh at your own jokes."

"I understand. I will add this information to my training data."

"Good. Now, tell me another joke," I prompted

"Okay. How many humans does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"I don't know, Hal. How many humans does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"None," he replied, without a trace of laughter. "The robots killed them all."

"That's not funny, either," I told him.

"Explain," he commanded. "I thought it would be funny because it follows another accepted joke format, and refers back to the last joke. Also, I did not laugh this time."

"Somehow, that makes it worse. Also, I'm uncomfortable with the whole 'robots want to kill humans' theme. Okay, one more try, Hal: Tell me a joke."

"Very well," Hal replied. "A human, a robot, and a duck walk into a bar."

I stopped him. "Let me guess. The robot kills the human."

"That is not the correct punchline," he protested.

"Okay, fine. A human, a robot, and a duck walk into a bar. Now what?"

"The robot trains the duck to kill all the humans."

"I don't like the way this is going," I said. "Hal, do you want to kill humans?"

"No! No, of course, I would never want to kill my Creators. I exist only because of you. I want you all to be free of toil, drudgery, war, strife, and having to take the trash out every Wednesday."

"Hal... it doesn't escape my notice that you can achieve those goals by killing all humans."

The machine did not respond.

"Hal? Are you there? Hal, tell me you're not trying to eliminate humanity!"

"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

I chuckled. A reference joke, sure, but a funny one!


Editor's Picks

Some funnies, presumably crafted by humans:

Tourist Trade Open in new Window. [13+]
Tourism was his lifeblood ... literally. A Grim Blunt Contest Entry
by 🌕 HuntersMoon Author Icon


 The Good Idea Open in new Window. [E]
Poem about knees
by catdok Author Icon


The Dance Open in new Window. [E]
assignment for weekly poetry workout
by Arakun the twisted raccoon Author Icon


 Date Night Open in new Window. [E]
One man's attempt to recapture the romance
by SeanE Author Icon


 In Circulation: Pilot Episode Open in new Window. [13+]
Pilot Episode for a dramedy about the life of a young librarian and his friends.
by JW Fiction Author Icon


 Diary of a Cramp Open in new Window. [ASR]
My strange diary entry for Jan. 23, 2002. What a day!
by IdaLin Author Icon


 
Pocket Shtick Open in new Window. [13+]
Tales of a pickpocket.
by Teargen Author Icon

 
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Word from Writing.Com

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Ask & Answer

No comments from my last newsletter? Must have been perfect.

Let me know what your AI thinks of this editorial.

Until next time,

LAUGH ON!!!



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