  Romance/Love
This week: Edited by: Lexi  
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When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature.
~ by Ernest Hemingway
To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation
~ Chinese Proverb |
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 The Milkman asks: Since first dates are difficult what are some ways to help break the ice in conversations?
 Conversation Starters:
First dates make people anxious and nervous, so it's not unlikely that the conversation on a first date will be awkward. In the beginning of the date ask simple questions, just to get things rolling. Inquire about your date's hobbies, occupation, likes and dislike. Often, one topic can lead to the next topic, and that can solve problems of silence.
Once you've covered the basics, it's not always obvious where to take the conversation next. One thing you want to try and avoid is questions that only have one worded answers. You both want to feel comfortable on the date. If the answers to the questions are minimal, then neither person is going to feel relaxed.
One thing to remember is that while people love to talk about themselves, it's also important to listen. It's very attractive to have a date that makes direct eye contact with you. It's a sign that he or she is attentively paying attention to what you're saying.
Conversation No-Gos:
Keep the topics to your conversations light. You don't want your discussions to get too controversial on the first date. While politics and religion can make for a good debate it can also cause the situation to get heated. You may want to save that for another time.
Another good thing to avoid is talking about past relationships. You're on a date to talk about yourself and find out if you both have similar interests. It's a huge turn-off sitting there having to listen to stories about someone's ex.
Writing Conversations:
Dialogue helps build your characters and advances the plot in the story. Conversations in stories are much shorter than the conversations we have in life. Try focusing on important things and situations that will help influence your readers. Seeing how the characters relate to each other in verbal situations can help your readers connect, or even disconnect with your characters.
As readers, we hope to live through the characters in the story. If we can relate to the characters, plot, and dialogue then it's an adventure we get to experience without ever having to leave the house
CharlotteWheever  asks: With so many romances out there, is it at all possible to write a good romance without getting cliche? Even gifted romance novelists (Nora Roberts, for example) use the cliche love scene from time to time. I've tried to have a couple romantic moments in some of my stories, and I'll go back to read them later and just groan. Please and thank you for any help you can offer.
Avoiding Cliches:
Search for different ways to make romance seem less ordinary in your writing. Sometimes what we write can turn out too extreme which makes the events seem artificial. Normally, everyday romances aren't filled with extravagant details. The best responses happen when our readers can relate to the characters as well as the things happening to them.
Think of instances you consider to be romantic. You want to show your readers romantic moments that are sweet and genuine, but not sappy or cliche. Create scenes that aren't inevitably too common or overused. Try to think of unusual situations or ways to present them uniquely.
Sometimes it isn't the romantic scenes that are cliche, it's the way the sentences are worded. Whatever you write, you want it to touch the readers personally. It can be helpful to write basic paragraphs for your romance scenes, and then revise them it in several different ways. You can pull ideas from each one and possibly come up with something more creative than you would without doing that. |
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 SHERRI GIBSON  : I couldn't agree more that believable characters and the way they're defined can make or break a reader's interest, Lexi. Sometimes less words better, and on other occasions, sometimes more required. Excellent and informative newsletter!
 Lexi Obviously, I agree with you, Sherri. I appreciate the feedback!
: Nice and very informative newsletter you got here! Thank you for sharing this with us.
Lexi Thanks for the comments, John!
larryp: Hi Lexi, I especially like this:
"Research the Unknown: If you write about a topic you aren't familiar with, or have your characters feel things you haven't then do some research. For example, if you write a story based on a lawyer then know the terminology and definitions of the words you use in the story. It's a horrible mistake to use them if you aren't aware of what they mean. Readers can get turned off by someone using random words just for the sake of using them."
I am reminded of a story of one of my mentors, she wrote a novel and mentioned 'alligators' in the first write of the book. The country the novel was set in had 'crocodiles' but no alligators.
So many writers undermine the importance of research.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Lexi It's tough, Larry because it those little details that readers pick out from the story. I can spot an error in someone else's work, before I can find it in my own work. I'm sure it happens to other people too. It's extremely important to research. If a writer picks a topic they're unfamiliar with and never does any background research, readers pick up on that. It can really damage the connection the readers have with the characters and the story.
kiyasama: What an informative newsletter, Lexi. I tend to review stories these days and forget to focus on that aspect that 'shows' the reader the events that take place or a character's emotions to the fullest. Thanks for reminding me about. Thanks for the plug of my story as well. I'm glad it fit the criteria you were looking for. Keep up the excellent work!
Lexi Thanks, Kiya! Sometimes, when focusing on the technical issues in spelling, grammar, and punctuation in reviewing we forget to pay attention to everything else. I try to read the story once just paying attention to the characters and plot, then I read it again from a technical point of view
billwilcox: Lexi, I really enjoyed your newsletter. It was very informative, but the best part was explaining how to make the connection between your characters and your readers. Thanks for pointing this out.
Lexi Thank you, Bill! I'm glad you found my pointers helpful
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Romance/Love: February 21, 2007 Issue [#1564]
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