  Short Stories
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Part 2: Creating plausible character emotions
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In my last Short Story Newsletter I mentioned that for the next couple of months I would be focusing on creating plausible character emotions.
Last month we focused on the emotion, anger. This month I'd like to take a look at: Anxiety.
The following is taken from the book, "Creating Character Emotions", by Ann Hood.
Author Anais Nin wrote that anxiety "makes other's feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic." That is the question to ask yourself when you want to see if you've successfully portrayed anxiety: Are you strangling the reader with his panic?
Bad Examples:
Gloria waited anxiously.
By using the adverb anxiously, the writer here actually diulted Gloria's anxiety. How much better this example would be if we saw how Gloria waited anxiously. Does she talk to herself? Suck on the ends of her hair? The opportunity exists to bring both Gloria and her anxiety into sharper focus, but the adverb gets in the way. This writer certainly doesn't let Gloria's panic strangle us.
June wonder if the kids were all right. She wondered if they had anything to drink at the party. She was worried that something had happened to them.
This writer fell in to the bad habit of telling us about June's anxiety rather than showing us. If June had used interior monologue we would not only hear her anxiety come to life, we would also get insight into her character.
Would that doctor ever come out? Jon wondered. He bit his nails and tapped his foot nervously.
Nail biting, foot tapping, fingers drumming, sweaty palms, butterflies in the stomach, a trickle of sweat, and pacing are all tired ways to show anxiety.
Good Examples:
Look at how Thom Jones portrays the anxiety of a woman who realizes she is dying in his short story "I Want to Live!" Notice how effectively interior monologue is used.
But those people in the hospital rooms, gray and dying, that was her. Could such a thing be possible? To die? Really? Yes, at some point she guessed you did die. But her? Now? So soon? With so little time to get used to the idea?
A second effective way to show anxiety is through physical reactions as Joyce Carol Oates does in her short story "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Connie a teenager coming into her own sexuality, has gone for a joyride with two "boys." Then she realizes they are grown men and that she may be in danger.
Ellie turned for the first time and Connie saw with shock that he wasn't a kid either-he had a fair, hairless face, cheeks reddened slightly as if the veins grew too close to the surface of his skin, the face of a forty-year-old baby. Connie felt a wave of dizziness rise in her at this sight and she stared at him as if waiting for something to change the shock of the moment, make it all right again.
Exercises
1. Write a one-page scene entirely in interior monologue in which the narrator is anxious about getting some news, such as test results from a doctor, a job offer, a home pregnancy test.
2. Choose a seemingly minor reason to produce anxiety, such as an invitation to a party, running out of hot water, a rainy day, and write a one-page scene in which a character obsesses on that concern. Be sure the character's anxiety level rises as the scene progresses.
Thanks for reading and I hope you've find this newsletter informative and helpful.
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billwilcox says: Kelly,
I love your idea on instructing writers how to write a characters emotions. It is something we all can learn from... Thanks, Bill.
SHERRI GIBSON  says: A very informative newsletter, Kelly. As always, you provide such insight to writers. Great job!
Sherri Thanks Sherri. I'm glad you found the newsletter helpful.
Mark  says: Thank you again, for both featuring a short of mine, and for once again authoring a wonderfully useful newsletter. No problem, Mark.
dogfreek21 says: This is very helpful, Highwind. Thank you You're welcome, Pup!
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Short Stories: March 14, 2007 Issue [#1594]
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