  Spiritual
This week: Edited by: larryp
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Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.
~~Emily Kimbrough
Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.
~~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
~~Marcel Proust |
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The relationships we form in life are very important. Some relationships urge us to become stronger people, while others can be detrimental to our emotional and spiritual health. Often, close, well-intentioned friends and family may not have our best interest at heart or they may hinder us from moving forward in life.
My first marriage ended in divorce, one month short of twenty-five years. It was a difficult time for me, being alone after so many years. Though my friends and family cared about me, they didn't know how to give me the support that I really needed. In a way, unknowingly, they were enabling me to stay in my depressed state of emptiness. It became important for me to find a support group, a group of people who had been where I was and who understood my trauma, yet enabled me to become a stronger person through the hard times. Healthy relationships are vital to our spiritual well-being.
The people in our lives can build us up or tear us down. They can help us face our challenges or they can instill a deeper fear of failure in us. In response to one of my previous newsletters, a subscriber asked me to discuss how one gets past feeling like a failure and becomes strong enough to try again. I think the relationships we keep may be a determining factor in this.
Author and counselor Les Parrot provides eleven questions we can ask to determine if we our relationships are helpful or detrimental.
1. Do you feel anxious when a particular person has called and left a message for you to return?
2.Are you dealing with a relationship that drains you of energy and enthusiasm?
3.Do you dread have to see or talk to a particular person?
4.Do you always seek to give, but get nothing in return?
5.Do you keep second-guessing your own performance as a result of interacting with this person?
6.Do you become more self-critical in their presence?
7.Is your creativity blocked or is your clarity of mind hampered by the lingering discomfort of having to deal with them?
8.Do you try to calm yourself after being with this person by eating more, biting your nails, or engaging in some other unhealthy habit?
9.Do you have imaginary conversations or mental arguments in which you defend yourself or try to explain your side of a conflict?
10.Do you feel resentful that this person seems to treat other people better than they treat you?
11.Do you wonder why this person singles you out for criticism but rarely acknowledges what you do well?
If you honestly answered 'yes' to these questions, you may be in what Les Parrot defines as a 'high-maintenance relationship." If so, you can either continue to suffer, continue to complain, or do something about the relationship.
~~~High Maintenance Relationships by Les Parrot
Has someone among your relationships told you that you're just not good enough or that you can't reach your goals or dreams? Have their comments drug you down and disheartened you, causing feelings of discouragement, instilling a fear to try again, creating self-doubt? If so, maybe it's time to find a new support group, friend, or circle of friends who are at least like-minded, where there is a reciprocal caring and giving relationship. As writers, so much of our work is done in solitary and it is easy to overlook the value of good friends who support and care for us and who can boost us in the times when we become weary and discouraged.
The glory of friendship is not just in the outstretched hand nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is in the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.
~~Ralph Waldo Emerson
My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation.
~~Helen Keller
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Poems and stories of friendship from around the Writing.com neighborhood:
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Dedicated to Sarah on this site who has given me the help I needed along the way.
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Thank you for your feedback, as always it is greatly appreciated.
kansaspoet
Larry
donald
Dear,Lary P I really think this is what it is all about...All it requires is an ounce of faith and the courage to step into the arena...Don.
~~Thank you, Don. I believe we are off to a good start when we have the two. Thanks for reading the newsletter and for responding.
Larry
Pen Name 
Dear Larry,
I hope a lot of people come to your workshop. As far as your wish for all of us, I will try. It is scary, but I will try. Last year, I DID try. And I failed quite a bit. Failure burns and it hurts. Makes me not want to come out of my 'cave' and try again. Maybe you could address a future NL on coping with failure.
And, if you can believe this, that Teddy Roosevelt quote - they had that a couple of weeks ago in a speech from a soap opera character from the CBS show The Young and the Restless!
Sincerely,
Lois
Dear Lois, don't feel you are alone in this, many struggle right along with you, which is why we need the encouragement of those who genuinely care for us. Thanks so much for reading and responding to the newsletter and for inspiring this edition.
Larry
MDuci
As always Larry, your words of wisdom are burned into my heart and sould - and of course my brain too! Thank you for being the God' inspired writer that you are...and for sharing the wealth.
Marlena
Thank you Marlena for your feedback and for being one of those who encourages me.
Larry
Editiors of the Spiritual Newsletter thank you:
SophyBells 
Puditat
kittiara
larryp
Next week's editor:
kittiara
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Spiritual: January 30, 2008 Issue [#2189]
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