  Spiritual
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Forgiveness is not always easy. It's not nice to get hurt. This week, I'll analyse the benefits of letting go of past mistakes...
kittiara |
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Forgiveness. It’s quite a heavy word, as words go, I think. Because let’s face it, forgiveness is not always easy. Along life’s way, we all get hurt, and sometimes this pain is dealt to us by the people we care for the most.
It’s easy to forgive someone for tiny errors, because we tend to remind ourselves that we are not perfect, either. We all say things that we didn’t mean to say, or words come out the wrong way, not reflecting what we intended to express. We all do small things that we don’t intend to cause harm, only to realise, later on, that we should have done it differently. When we’re on the receiving end of such errors it’s not that difficult to just let it go, and forgive the other for the upset.
Forgiveness for bigger issues can take time. Usually, those are overcome by realising that we love the other person, and that we miss them. And, again, we may recall moments in the past when we, too, needed forgiveness for our actions. Many people will give others a second chance, realising that we are all human.
But sometimes something happens that can cause relationships between people to be damaged for a long time, perhaps even forever. I know of mothers and daughters who have not spoken with the other in many years. I know of families torn apart because the pain between them was so big that it couldn’t be overcome. I know of relationships between men and women that are irreparably damaged. I know of people passing the other on the street without saying hello, whilst months before they were the best of friends.
Sometimes relationships between people need to be ended because of unhealthy situations. This is sad but true.
But at other times what stands between people is hurt and anger, and occasionally a touch of pride.
Saying sorry is not always enough, and trust lost can be difficult to regain. However, it is also true in many cases that lingering resentment can cause more damage than managing forgiveness, however much of a struggle that can be.
Forgiving someone does not mean you have to be best friends again, that you have to restore a relationship, or even have to talk to someone ever again. Forgiveness is about letting go, fully or up to a certain extent, of the pain and often anger aimed towards another person. Forgiveness is realising that, yes, you were hurt, but that the negative emotions of those memories are not worth clinging to any longer. Forgiveness is realising that you can move on. That the other person has done you wrong, but that that’s the past now. For this reason, forgiveness can be quite liberating.
Perhaps the most difficult form of forgiveness is to forgive ourselves for the errors we make and for the things we’ve done wrong in the past. Such events can haunt us, often even years after whatever happened, happened. It’s not easy to recognise the damage that we’ve done and the hurt we have caused. And it’s not always easy to apologize to the person on the receiving end of our deeds. Sometimes it’s impossible to do so, because all contact has been cut off.
Again, holding on to this pain and anger towards ourselves can put a strain on our lives. The best thing to do is to learn from the mistakes we make. Analyse what went wrong, recognise the after-effects, realise what exactly happened and how it made you and others feel, and take it for the lesson it has been. Some lessons in life are excruciatingly difficult, but they can be used to learn and grow as a person. And if you learn the lesson fully, quite often people will realise that you have changed, and they will give you another chance.
Forgiveness works both ways, and can be healing, if you allow it to be.
kittiara
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For this week, I have chosen a selection of items about forgiveness. I hope these shared thoughts will be of benefit to you, and that you'll enjoy them as much as I did.
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The Spiritual Newsletter Team welcomes any questions, suggestions, thoughts and ideas you might like to share. So, please don't hesitate to write in!
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Due to some Internet troubles, I am only now able to respond to the feedback left for my January Newsletter. Thanks for writing in and my apologies for the delay!
donald - Kittiara, I wish you happy holidays and a wonderful 2008. I hope that it will be a good year for you, in which all your hopes will come true.Kittiara you have to understand life is short on this planet earth, and God really loves you...Don.
Thank you so much for your well-wishes, Don. I truely appreciate it and I hope that this year will bring you all you hope for as well. 
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Zeke  - New Years are of course only a man-made time measure. All of us are free to make changes in our behavior at any time. Now is always good for positive changes. Nice letter.
Zeke
Thank you, Zeke. I agree. I think we all constantly learn and grow, all throughout the year and throughout our lives.
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faithjourney - Thanks for the great newsletter. You hit the nail on the head! After an exciting 2007 and a wonderful holiday season I was also feeling the post holiday blues, until I got an idea for a novel. A big task, but I jumped in and started, and already I feel better. Or maybe because I finally had time to get back to my writing, which I love!
I hope you're feeling better as well. Yikes, pneumonia! I've been hospitalized with that myself. Please take care of yourself, and I hope you continue on the road to recovery.
Thank you so much for your kind words! I am feeling much better, thank you.
What a wonderful way to start the year, writing a novel! I hope you're making excellent progress with it and that you will share it with us here at W.Com .
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Peter Yule  - The Spiritual newsletter holds out a lot of hope for many folks. I enjoy it and read it often. You mention some people have problems in facing the new year, and I am among them. I will have open heart surgery on Monday 1/14/08, and ask to be kept in the thoughts and prayers of our community. I am Peter Alden Yule aka peteryule the old Yankee Storyteller. Thank You all.
Thank you so much, Peter. I am sorry for the belated response. I truely hope that your surgery went well, and that you are on the road to full recovery.
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Maria Mize  - Thank you for this newsletter. I found the paragraph: "If you want to be a better writer..." very encouraging. I'll be checking out those contests. =)
Thank you, Maria! I hope you enjoyed the contests .
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The Spiritual Newsletter Team:
larryp, Sophurky  , Puditat , kittiara
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Spiritual: March 05, 2008 Issue [#2263]
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