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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/4766
Comedy: December 13, 2011 Issue [#4766]

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Comedy


 This week: Holiday Parties
  Edited by: Robert Waltz Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

"I had thought - I had been told - that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land)


Word from our sponsor



Letter from the editor

Holiday Parties
a survival guide


Yep, it's that time of year again - the time for enforced cheer and mingling. If you're an extrovert, that's great, but for introverts like me, navigating the minefield of end-of-the-year parties can be tricky.

So I, your faithful Comedy Newsletter editor, am here to help you through the sticky situation of family, office, and social network Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice or whatever... you know, Holiday Parties.

What to wear: This is, for me, the worst part. I'm a rock band t-shirt and black jeans kind of guy. I can, in a pinch, wear a polo shirt or something with actual buttons, but I don't pull it off very well. And if a tie is called for? Well, the good news is, ties aren't really called for, these days. Whew. Anyway, remember to contact your host(ess) to ask what sort of dress is expected. Nothing is worse than wearing ratty blue jeans to a formal party, except maybe wearing a tux to a ratty blue jeans party. Or, perhaps, thinking it's a costume party when it's not. Difficulty: if she says "come as you are," and you've called right after a shower, please remember to put on clothing prior to arriving at the party. Unless it's that kind of party, in which case, remember to invite your favorite Comedy Newsletter editor (which would be me).

What to bring: Do you bring a gift for the host(ess), or not? Some parties will explicitly state "bring a toy to donate" or "bring a can for the Food Bank." Awesome. That's great. But do you also bring a Lego set or some such for the people putting on the party? This is like tipping, for me: if it's not a restaurant, I have no idea whether or how much to tip. Likewise, do you bring something for the host(ess)? Or a dish, perhaps? Even if they say no? My advice? Call someone else who's going to the party, ask what they're doing, and then do the exact opposite, because they're trying to one-up you.

Drinking: Do it. Seriously. If the party explicitly forbids alcohol, get blasted beforehand, and bring an easily-hidden flask filled with your favorite distilled libation. It's a known fact that it is impossible to get through a holiday party sober. Yes, I know that I'm not supposed to recommend drinking, smoking, or sticking a Q-Tip into your ear canal. Do it anyway.

Once at the party: Be sure to express your religious, political, and sexual opinions every chance you get.

After the party: If you're not sure whether to send the host(ess) a thank-you or an apology? Send both.

Or: Hide in your basement and play Skyrim.

Most importantly: Ignore all of the above and have a good time. Just remember: It's easier to gain forgiveness than permission!


Editor's Picks

If you're anything like me, you're already sick of anything with a "holiday" theme. If you're not like me, skip the following: a collection of non-holiday comedy.

 Mustang Mascot Open in new Window. [ASR]
writer's cramp winner: silly short poem about a friend who agrees to sub as mascot
by phyduex Author Icon


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


 MY QUEEN? Open in new Window. [E]
A whimsical Tragedy (mix of drama / comedy with twist). Written for contest.
by smithy Author Icon


 Spicy Open in new Window. [E]
A Silly Haiku about one of my favorite foods
by Delilah Author Icon


 Mini mastemind Open in new Window. [ASR]
poem about if I was a baby again.
by Mr. Tuna Author Icon


 DAVE Open in new Window. [18+]
Dave is a mysterious kid that two college students try to understand.
by Holly Lutters Author Icon


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


 The anime novel Open in new Window. [13+]
A girl discovers she is a character in a boring novel so she takes control of her life!
by Roxy Emilia Means Author Icon

 
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Word from Writing.Com

Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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Don't forget to support our sponsor!

ASIN: B004PICKDS
Amazon's Price: Price N/A


Ask & Answer

Last month, in "Comedy Newsletter (November 15, 2011)Open in new Window., I talked about injecting humor into serious writing. Some of you had comments.

njames51 Author Icon: Sending this comedy/non-fiction piece to whoever is writing the comedy newsletter next week. Can you forward it to the guest editor? Much appreciated. [Submitted Item: "A Loosey Goosey TurkeyOpen in new Window. [13+]]

         May be a bit late, but I'm including this here anyway.


LJPC - the tortoise Author Icon: Robert - It's great that your characters are humorous. There's nothing that appeals to people more than funny characters; they're more sympathetic, and the readers will root more when the characters face your dastardly, puppy-killing villain. You're a star for doing NaNo. (Too much pressure for me.) Good luck! *Bigsmile*
-- Laura


         Thanks! And I did manage to finish NaNo, but the hard part - editing - is still to come!


BIG BAD WOLF is Howling Author Icon: More pizza is needed. [Submitted Item: "Family ChristmasOpen in new Window. [E]]

         More pizza is always needed.


Smiling Jack Author Icon: Great NL, Robert. As you illustrate so well, when you have a good sense of humor it will find its way into your story.

         Thanks! I'm a big proponent of including something funny in everything, as long as it's not too inappropriate.


And that's it for me for 2011 - the good news is, I'll be back next year for more of the Comedy Newsletters you know and love! Until then, whatever you celebrate, have a great holiday, a happy and laughter-filled New Year, and be sure to make it a resolution to...

LAUGH ON!!!

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