  Drama
This week: She did? Okay...but wait, why? Edited by: NickiD89  
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She did? Okay...but wait, why?
I had an Oprah "A-ha Moment" last week after receiving a review for a story I have been rewriting, one I originally wrote in 2009. It was such a positive reviewing experience that I want to share it with you. And the lesson I came away with may help you heighten the drama in your own work.
The story in question is about Samantha, a young woman who, though raised by a loving adoptive mother, spent her childhood dreaming of the day she would meet her real mother. That dream was dashed after learning her late biological mother's identity from the attorney handling her estate. All her mother left her was a key, scotch-taped to a hand written note, and a map. As Samantha narrates, we follow her and her adoptive mother on a journey to discover where the key fits, and what secrets it unlocks.
Now, I wrote the story back when I was still a fairly novice writer, and rewriting it has been an enlightening experience. I realize how much I've learned about the craft in the past few years. However, it took a dedicated reviewer to point out a major loose thread I'd missed in the fabric of the story.
Enter goldenautumn. I could tell GoldenAutumn had spent considerable time with my story. Her comments dug deep, discussing plot elements, emotional impact, grammar, and characters. And as I read the review, I noticed a recurring question, one that signaled something wasn't sitting right, for GoldenAutumn.
The first time her question appeared, it followed a line from the story that GoldenAutumn had pasted into the review. That line was: (Samantha's adoptive mother's) unconditional love filled Samantha's heart and offered her security from a cold world where mothers gave their daughters away.
Below it, GoldenAutumn said: This is a great set up for later here. You have me asking why did she give her daughter away? Was she a young unwed mother in dire circumstances?
Later in the review, GoldenAutumn typed: Knowing the ending, I have to ask if the mom should have (contacted Samantha). Why didn't she at least let her daughter know what had happened sooner, to spare her the pain? Her choice is so selfless, but leaves a child full of unanswered questions. Either way it appears to be a no win situation.
Further down, GoldenAutumn copied the biological mother's words as written on the note where the key was attached: "What this key unlocks is yours to keep forever." It was signed, "Your loving mother, Donna Tracey."
Underneath the above line, GoldenAutumn wrote this to me: You've got me very curious. And I love the generous nature of her real mother. This shows it. You have me intrigued. Why after all these years is she about to notice her and give her something? She is gone. It is so sad and surreal.
And yet again, later on, GoldenAutumn said: Obviously, her mother really loved her. So why did she give her up?
When I got to the end of the review, I clicked 'Reply' and began thanking GoldenAutumn for the detailed feedback. Of course, I wanted to answer the question that had obviously niggled at her brain throughout the story: Why did the Mom refuse to communicate with Samantha? My fingers hovered above the keyboard. Why, indeed...Well, it was because...because........
*cue The Oprah Winfrey Show theme music*
Honestly, I didn't know why Sam's biological mother Donna Tracey never reached out! I mean, I know what Sam learns about her, and it's pretty devastating and understandable. (No spoilers here!  Guess I could link the story near my signature below...) But when pressed to explain the depth of Donna's commitment to remain silent, well, I didn't have a clue.
Basic stuff, peeps; Writing 101: Character Motivation.
So there I was, trying to articulate what was driving this character, and I found myself spit-balling ideas, right there in the email to GoldenAutumn. I suppose the character was speaking up after all this time, telling me her story as I went along. And I listened.
Ideas about how I could weave small details saturated with subtle clues into the existing story bubbled up, spitting and splattering like a pot of water at full boil. After a moment I paused, blinked my eyes, and realized there was a six-inch tall paragraph in the middle of poor GoldenAutumn's email. So I asked her what she thought. If I'd included this, and that, would she have understood Donna Tracey better?
GoldenAutumn wrote back, encouraging me to incorporate those changes that would bring Donna Tracey's motivations to light.
The lesson I took away was one I have "learned" before, but needed reminding of. Every person in the story, even the ones who are dead before the opening sentence, is an important link in the mesh of the tale. Not everything you know about each character should make it into the story. But you better know who these people are that you're writing about. Know what motivates them. What they care about. What they're afraid of.
And it's often the secondary characters that fall through the cracks. I spend a lot of time and energy on my main characters; I know them better than I know the people on my block, out here in the real world. But the guy that stops Character #1 on the street in Scene #3? That could be the guy first-time readers want to know more about. Why'd he react that way, putting Character #1 in that situation? And if the question won't sit down and be quiet, if it bangs its feet and demands to be contemplated, then your reader will pause long enough to be pulled out of the story, and the drama you worked so hard to create will fall flat.
In closing, I'd like to thank goldenautumn once again for her thorough review and for her willingness to engage in a conversation with me that will ultimately help me strengthen my story. I hope her diligence inspires the rest of us to raise our reviewing bars. One review at a time, we can all support writers in their efforts to take their craft to the next level.
Question For Next Time: What's the best piece of feedback you received for a story or poem, and why?
Thanks for reading!
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Question For Next Time: What's the best piece of feedback you received for a story or poem, and why?
Last month's newsletter asked, What examples of Mary Sue or Gary Stu characters spring to mind from books you've read, television series you've enjoyed, or movies you've seen? Here's what readers said:
D.L. Fields  -- Just took the Mary Sue quiz and was relieved that I passed! Since I have several characters I'll have to take the test for each one.
I'll have to pass this on to my writer's group.
Glad to know you're sharing this info with your writer's group. It's definitely an interesting topic for discussion!
BIG BAD WOLF is Howling  -- Let's see- Expert thief, never loses a fight, immortal, and suffers from addiction to human flesh, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and depression- I think that makes my Zena a Mary Sue- wouldn't want to say that to her face though- she has a wicked temper. (Character in question appears in this submitted item: "Zena's Interview"
Hm, yes. And your Zena was an orphan, which is a stereotypical beginning in life for a Mary Sue character. I think suspecting you have crafted a Mary Sue is the first step in digging deeper, fleshing her out further, listening closer until she reveals to you her darkest fears and conflicts. It's a good thing, in the end!
Jeff  -- Thanks for such a great NL, Nicki! I never realized those characters were called Mary Sues (or their male counterparts). I probably should have, considering how many of them I wrote when I first started penning stories!
This was a new topic for me, too. I never understood the references when watching episodes of The Big Bang Theory guest starring Will Wheaton as himself. He was so mean, and Sheldon had such disdain for him, but I never "got" why until I delved into the subject of Mary Sue/Gary Stu characters. Gave me one of those "Ah-ha Moments." 
Mara ♣ McBain  -- What a great NL on Mary Sue. Of course I've heard the term and know what it means, but I had never heard the history of it! Fascinating!
I learned a lot too while writing this NL!
Mitchopolis -- While I read your article I thought of Sheriff Taylor from the Andy Griffith show. He would definitely be a Gary Stu character but yet he never became the object of hatred. Could it be a Peggy Sue or Gary Stu could bypass the hatred if they have a winning personality? Both examples of Bella and Wesley are also characters with personalites similiar to lumber. Just a thought. Great article, thanks!
You make a great point. I'd argue that reader/viewer disdain for a Mary Sue/Gary Stu character is neither a definite certainty nor a prerequisite for the label. But I think the risk of provoking a negative reaction from your target audience is far greater when your character teeters on perfection with no believable conflicts plaguing his or her life. Readers want to identify with characters. I think it comes down to this: we like to feel a little more normal in our own imperfect skins when we're cheering on fictional characters dealing with the same kinds of -- or far worse -- circumstances. Thanks for the great comment!
StephBee  -- Oh my! Wesley Crusher really got on my nerves! He's the perfect Gary Stu!
Yes! And last week my 14yo son streamed The Next Generation episodes on Netflix and I have to say, I enjoyed Wesley Crusher more this time around just because I was observing his Gary Stu-ness.
Lunarmirror -- I really like this newsletter. It was very good to read because Mary Sues are annoying however the litmus test is just an aggregation of qualities we tick so contextually it cannot equate if a person is entirely a sue or not because many notable characters in books and film (including animations) also have such attributes and still is not a sue. Of course there are many conscious exceptions like I went through the lithmus test with Fydor Dostoevsky Underground man in mind and he got (-1) because consciously Dostoevsky wanted the Underground man to be someone unlikable lol. And the same thing will happen if we go through with other literary figures who are anti-heroes because they are done like that to be so. Also many sues are considered academically silly but excelling in places that could use wits or getting away learning things too fast. Well thanks for the good newsletter.
An excellent point! The Mary Sue Litmus Test only notifies us of our character's (possible) over-abundance of skills and positive attributes, as well as help us recognize whether our character shares (too) many physical characteristics and back-story elements with a stereotypical Mary Sue. What we need to do, once we have the Litmus Test score, is determine how we've balanced the character out with inner and outer conflicts that are both believable and relevant to our story. A high Litmus Test score doesn't imply a character is badly crafted or a darling that must be killed  . But if she does scores high, perhaps that character is in need of scrutiny and re-evaluation.
See you all back here on September 5, 2012. Until then, have a great month!
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Drama: August 08, 2012 Issue [#5197]
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