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This week: Handling Rejection Edited by: Jeff More Newsletters By This Editor
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"Some writers enjoy writing, I am told. Not me. I enjoy having written.
-- George R.R. Martin
Trivia of the Week: Since we'll be talking about rejection this week, I wanted to share one of the best rejection letters I've ever seen online, from an associate professor candidate who found out he didn't get the job: "Dear Professor Millington, Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving a large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants. Sincerely, Chris L. Jensen."
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HANDLING REJECTION
All writers will face rejection eventually. Maybe it will come in the form of a friend or mentor not liking what you've written, or a publisher declining to publish your manuscript, or even a bad review on this site or from another source after your work is actually published and out there for public consumption. Sooner or later, a writer is bound to run into someone who has read their work and, quite simply, didn't enjoy it.
So how do you deal with rejection?
It's incredibly difficult to deal with rejection as a writer, because the work we put out there is often so personal to us. We spend extensive amounts of time living with our work, agonizing over our word choices, struggling to make every paragraph and every sentence as good as it can possibly be. And when it's all said and done, even if we're not in love with the finished product, there's often an extremely satisfying sense of accomplishment and pride at having actually created something. Which makes it all the more heartbreaking when someone tells us that they don't like it. If we were accountants, maybe it wouldn't sting as much. After all, there's a very black and white aspect to that kind of job where the numbers either add up or they don't. And if the numbers don't add up, it's just a matter of redoing them. The numbers are easy to redo because it's just a simple objective calculation of existing data rather than a critical response to something we've taken the time to carefully craft and actually create out of nothing.
The most important thing to remember, though, is that rejection - in most cases - is about the work rather than about you. It may seem deeply personal (especially if the work was deeply personal or the criticism is needlessly personal), but the criticism is directed at the audience's reception of the work, not the audience's reception of you as a person. That doesn't magically make it all better when a publisher says they're not going to publish your book... but it may take some of the sting out of the rejection if you keep in mind the fact that the publisher is passing on that book and saying that book isn't for them. The publisher isn't saying you're a failure as a person or a writer... just that this particular piece of writing wasn't successful.
Moving on is another key component of dealing with rejection. Of course, you should allow yourself to mourn the loss of something you invested a lot of yourself in that no one else seems to appreciate... but it's also important to move on and create something new. Wallowing in self-pity and wondering where things went so wrong is rarely a productive, and moving on to other pursuits - that next story, the next book, the next script - is what will allow you to turn that rejection into something positive. Take the lessons you learned from the rejection (why it was rejected, what could have been handled differently, what you can do better next time, etc.) and apply them to a new piece of writing that will be all the stronger for this rejection you're currently dealing with.
And finally, take solace with other writers. We've all been through this process too. We've all had work we're incredibly proud of rejected by people we thought would like it and validate us. Take some comfort in the fact that you're not alone in this experience and that there are thousands of other writers who are going through or have gone through the exact same thing you're going through right now. Talk with other writers, ask them how they got past a particularly tough rejection, and ask them what they learned from the experience.
I've been rejected more times than I can count. When I was in high school, I wrote my first screenplay and sent out query letters to all the major studios and agencies upon finishing. I received responses that ranged from incredibly helpful and supportive to entirely apathetic to downright mean and nasty. One person even told me to "do [myself] and everyone else a favor and quit [writing]."
Rejection is hard. It's really, really hard to deal with sometimes. But we do have to deal with it. That's part of the job description. As writers, we're going to write stuff that other people sometimes don't like, and we have to be able to handle it when they tell us they don't like it. Rejection is a process, and it can sometimes be a long road. But don't let it derail your passion and your commitment if writing is really what you want to do. If this is a field you truly want to work in, find a way to get past the rejection, maybe even get something out of it, and then move onto the next thing.
Until next time,
-- Jeff
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I encourage you to check out the following items:
Although I was a lowly temp in publicity at both Viking and Putnam during 1996, I did learn something about the classes of rejection letters that editors may send. I hope this will help prospective writers have a better understanding of what a rejection letter might mean.
It pains me to rate this because the high rating will probably send my overall ratings average up making me appear to be a ratings softy, but I think highlighting that talented authors get rejected also is a service to aspiring authors. Not to imply that I'm some sort of writing diva, but I wish I hadn't thrown away my rejection letters from earlier years.
As I walk down the driveway, the sun radiates a soothing warmth, masking the hidden gloom that awaits me. I hear the laughter of kids in the distance as I slip my hand into the mailbox. “Nothing but junk,” I mumble into the street.
Just then I see it, my breath catching in my throat. The sun casts a strange glare on the envelope, a mystical treasure from long ago. It has my writing on it. I had almost forgotten that I sent something out. After weeks of quiet hoping and silent dreams, the thought was forced from my mind for fear of going crazy. Four to six months they had said, much too long of a wait for the eager young writer.
The rejection letters pile up faster than roaches multiply. They sit there without any explanations, false best wishes and hastily checked boxes on vague form letters.
Perhaps this would all be easier to handle if this was the first attempt to succeed. If this was the first time I ever set out and tried to be a bit more than a minimum wage slave. But it isn’t, it is the second, third, hell even fourth time and once in awhile I gotta wonder, “When is the world gonna give me a break?”
I've been lying. This is what I've been doing to myself for the past two years.
Here's a chronicle of my attempts, successes, and failures at publishing.
Okay, maybe we can't all write a best seller. But we can be paid for what we do write!
Yesterday, I poked around in some of the groups and forums where I've been a rather inactive member. I read some posts from my school mates at Classmates.com. What discoveries I made!
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Feedback on my last newsletter about the basics of copyright:
G. B. Williams writes, "If your works are published here are your works considered published or unpublished by the US Copyright office?"
The word "published" is generally interpreted by the Copyright Office to mean distributing copies of the work to the public by sale, transfer of ownership, or rental, lease or lending. Since posting your work here on WdC doesn't technically involve transferring the ownership, or the exchange of money, or charging people to read it, your work would still be considered an unpublished work. (Please note that I'm not an attorney, though, and you should definitely consult an intellectual property attorney if you need additional or more detailed information.)
Joy writes, "A very informative and much needed NL, SoCal. I'm going to refer writers to this one when they express concerns about uploading their work in WdC. Thanks! "
Thank you for the kinds words and for leaving a comment!
monty31802 writes, "A fine newsletter with a lot of good information."
Thanks, Monty!
Leger~ writes, "Thank you for this very informative and easy to read / comprehend newsletter on an often-questioned subject. This will definitely be a future reference for me."
Glad you found it useful!
mkivad writes, "Valuable information. Thank you. -mkivad"
You're very welcome!
DB Cooper writes, "PublishAmerica owns the copywright on my book so I don't think a movie company would want to pay twice: Once for my rights and again for the copywright."
Did you assign away the entire copyright? Publishers will often take certain rights (such as the rights related to publishing hard copy and electronic books), and/or will only take the rights for a certain amount of time. It would be rare, and very unfortunate, if they actually require you to sell them your copyright to your work in perpetuity. If you're interested in exploring your options, I highly recommend you consult an intellectual property attorney to review your contract with PublishAmerica and evaluate what your options are.
Creeper Of The Realm writes, "Great NL! A lot of people ask about the copyright on WdC and you just explained it all in detail. I just hope they read it. "
Thanks for the kind words!
Mark Allen Mc Lemore writes, "Some questions have been answered by this newsletter! Thank you. "
I appreciate you always taking the time to write in!
Tornado Dodger writes, "Excellent NL! You should create this editorial in an item for your port if you haven't. I'm sure it would be very helpful to many authors. "
Great idea, Brooke. Thanks for the feedback!
2serious writes, "Hey, I just finished reading a great piece on Noticing Newbies. It gave me an opportunity to "like" on facebook. Is that a copyright infringement? Thanks, Mary" (Submitted item: "Writing Help" )
Since you're just clicking a button to indicate you liked something, I think you're safe and probably not violating anyone's copyright.
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