  Drama
This week: As, but, just, then, so, though... Edited by: Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline  
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As, but, just, then, so, though... They are such handy little words, but they should be used with caution!
This week's Drama Newsletter is all about the danger of noticeable repetition.
kittiara |
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The storm had broken.
Pug danced along the edge of the rocks, his feet finding scant purchase as he made his way among the tide pools. His dark eyes darted about as he peered into each pool under the cliff face, seeking the spiny creatures driven into the shallows by the recently passed storm. His boyish muscles bunched under his light shirt as he shifted the sack of sandcrawlers, rockclaws and crabs plucked from his water garden.
The lines above are the opening words of Magician, by Raymond E. Feist. It's a wonderful novel – a mixture of fantasy, adventure and drama – but with apologies to Mr. Feist, I have chosen it to highlight something a lot of authors fall victim to, including myself.
You may not have spotted it, reading through the three sentences of the second paragraph. Mr. Feist's editor certainly didn't, or didn't see it as a problem, because it continues throughout the 841 pages of the book. The issue is that of noticeable repetition, in this case of the word “as”.
It's a handy little word. It binds actions together, and enables a sentence to flow. Once you pick up on an author using it repeatedly, though, you can't stop noticing it, and that can be highly distracting.
The humble “as” is not alone in being overused. Other such words are “but”, “so”, “just”, “then” and “though”. I'm guilty of just about all of them, though I tend to avoid the “as”. There, you see? I used two of them in that sentence.
The problem with these words is that they are easy to spot in another author's work, but when you are writing and, later, editing, they tend to be overlooked. Areas of focus tend to be inconsistencies in the plot, the appeal and believability of the characters, all the way down to typos and repetition of bigger words. The small ones can slip through the net. I've taken to doing a word search on my lengthier items in case I've used them too often.
Mr. Feist is certainly not the only bestselling author who repeatedly uses “as”. One author who immediately springs to mind is Lynsay Sands, and there are many others.
Why, then, is it something to worry about? If big publishing companies don't care, why should you?
The way I see it is that if you want to be published, it is best to tackle any and all potential problems. It's a tough market out there, with fierce competition. Sure, if your story or novel is outstanding, and its only issue is a repetition of a minor word, it may still be accepted, but the rewrite can be a pain. And if there are several other outstanding works to compete with yours – works that only require a minor edit – that repetition may lead to rejection. It's better to check your work before you submit it, than regret it later on.
It's important to state here that it's fine to use those words. They are helpful. To Mr. Feist's credit, he doesn't carry on as he did in those first few lines, despite a frequent use throughout the book. It's simply a case of not using them too close together, and I am glad that he didn't all the way through, otherwise I may have had to stop reading and that would have been a shame. He's a very talented writer and I would definitely recommend his work.
When reviewing around Writing.Com, I often have to point out issues of this kind, and I am certain that other reviewers can do the same with my own items. So, I am sorry to add another check point to your editing, but I feel that, in the end, it will be worthwhile.
kittiara
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The Drama Newsletter Team welcomes any and all questions, suggestions, thoughts and feedback, so please don't hesitate to write in! 
blue jellybaby - Hey, great topic for a newsletter. I'm in the UK too and I feel like the topic is all too often brought up and usually in a negative manner. I spend many hours trying to explain the realities to people (not that I'm hot on the issue but I do know about it) because I feel it's unfair to lump everyone in the same category. Thank you for providing this thought provoking piece and sharing your opinion
Thank you for your kind words and for not simply going with the negative press reports! 
~~~
dwarf2012 - I think moving to different parts of the same country can be difficult, also. I moved from the north of the US to the south, which may as well be a different country. Yet, when I go back 'home', I don't feel connected to it. It has changed so much over 12 years. I don't know who said it, but 'you can never go home.'
I sometimes forget how large a country the USA is. I can definitely imagine that there will be vast differences between the north and the south! It's even the case here, in the United Kingdom, and the UK is tiny in comparison.
I think it's correct that we can never go home. All we can do is create a new one.
~~~
Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
The Drama Newsletter Team
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Drama: July 31, 2013 Issue [#5812]
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