  Comedy
This week: Whack-A-Skeeta Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  
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Wow, it's August, already. Where has the time gone? I know where some of my time has been spent. It's been ridding the house and porch of nasty gnats, hungry mosquitoes, pesky flies: horse, deer and other varieties as well as moths trying to get inside to chew on my wool rugs. It all began like this ...
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Hello, folks!
Have you ever had insomnia and ended-up in front of the television at some ungodly hour of the morning, watching one of these hour/s long commercials? It usually starts-off something like this:
It's revolutionary, new and improved and dependable and it'll be available at all of your favorite bargain centers and your local drug stores, very soon; but we'd rather sell you this handy-dandy item here, from your television, right now while you're half-asleep. Seeing is believing, folks! Watch how easy, Doris, zaps that pesky fly. In one quick sweep, her home is clean from the germs this fly could have left behind. And, here's Johnny! He used to roll-up his newspaper and swat at a mosquito, fly or wool-eating, moth. Now, he just raises his hand and directs it toward the flying delinquent.
What is it that makes this plastic paddle-shaped, neon colored device work to fry the fly or crisp that critter? The answer is; it has a metal, electro-netted inner layer that is ready to jolt when the insect makes contact. It works just like one of those hang-up zapping bug lights, except this one is portable. You just add two, AA batteries and you've got your own hand-held electrocution paddle. 
Hey, we can't say that this nifty-thrifty shocking device can restart a heart, but perhaps two of these devices could do the trick. That's why we are offering you two, yes, two Whack-a-Skeeta paddles for the price of one. But, you must order before midnight on Saturday to receive this bonus paddle. You only need to pay an outrageous shipping and handling fee per paddle and the second one's free, excluding taxes, that is!
Have hours of fun zapping away your flying insect problems. Just $19.99 per paddle for two paddles, for a limited time, and they come in six vibrant colors to match any personality disorder or decor.
Remember, don't swat at the air all day, get Whack-a-Skeeta and sizzle 'em dead!
Okay, folks, WL and I didn't need to see this type of commercial. We did get ourselves a couple hand-held bug zappers! No kidding, we saw them near a check-out lane in our local everybody's-everyday-type, store and just had to buy them. We've been having to battle off mosquitoes left and right from all the rain that's dropped on us. When we saw the zappers in the stand, we grabbed for them. I have a hot-pink one and WL has a cobalt blue, one.
We have many joyful moments showing-off our kill skills; indoors and on the porch, just zapping our pests away. It's become a contests over who can get the most mosquitoes. Yes, folks, it's fryin' time again! I know -- too much time on our hands. 
Well, I gotta go see about a fly.
That's all she wrote for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
Web~Witch
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Feedback from: "Comedy Newsletter (July 17, 2013)"
Marci Missing Everyone 
I laughed really hard at the story about web~mom, and then I laughed so hard I cried at the joke. I was not expecting the punchline. Thanks so much for sharing!!!
Winnie Kay 
Thanks for sharing your mom's humor with us, WW. I know that wasn't an easy newsletter to write. WebMom must be proud of your strength and your ability to continue to make us smile through your grief.
Quick-Quill 
Lordy Lordy Lordy I'm in tears from Laughing. My parents (both 84) tried to program the voice mail on their phone. reading the directions they were unable to find the appropriate buttons. They called my sister who tried to walk them through the process. Dad, bored with the whole thing decided to watch TV instead. "J-Where's the remote?" After a few moments Mom hangs up on my sister Who calls back. "Mom-what's going on?" "Sorry dear, we tried to program the remote instead of the phone." I bought them a GIANT remote the next year for Christmas. Life is more funny than most people can make up.
I am copying this newsletter and sending this to my mom and my sisters! Sisters are recouping from knee and hip surgery and will just die when they read this.
P.S. I read every one of the stories you posted. I loved them! Great choice!
Joy 
So nice that you're remembering with love a most wonderful woman with a great sense of humor.
Love your genes, WW. 
drjim
Webbie, the day that Web-Mom was called to Heaven- that day came too soon- for I thought Web-Mom was going to live forever! I will miss those trips together in the car - both of you gesturing as I dodged limbs and fingers pointing for me to 'GO THIS WAY! NOOO! GO THAT WAY!!!' I so loved her personality, her stories about growing up, her Life as she narrated it day by day. Giving up school, working in dance halls playing bass - and giving all she made to her mother, (except for $2 she kept for herself occasionally) - she was my idol in a sense of what she taught was so important in Life. It was SACRIFICE. How that beautiful person, your Ma - OUR MA! - managed to get some quality time with everyone and loved each of us equally no matter what our station in life. She and she alone had the power, even in death, to unite the family entire once more, for they came from California and Colorado by air, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee and Rhode Island by vehicle. Our great loss ='s Heaven's great gain. RIP Ma, RIP
blue jellybaby
What a brilliant newsletter. It made me laugh out loud! And a lovely eulogy to your mother 
Grace♥Leo health issues Via Email:
Enjoyed the newsletter this week. What a great tribute to your mother. I loved the joke about intercourse and BCBS. Hilarious. 
Grace L
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, folks. I enjoyed all of your comments and kind thoughts. My mother loved it when I told her she'd be in one of my Comedy Newsletters. She'd ask if I ever told you folks about such and such a time. Thus, it was with a heavy heart and a heart filled with joy, that I wrote the newsletter. I knew she would have laughed and felt like a real VIP. She was always happy to share her time and herself with so many people. The thought that SHE was known by hundreds of readers whom she has never met, delighted her immensely.
Thanks again, folks!
Webbie
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Comedy: August 14, 2013 Issue [#5816]
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