  Spiritual
This week: Don't judge a girl by her hair Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER  
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| A lot of our interactions seem to take place 'virtually'. On the one hand, the internet brings us closer together - on the other hand, it seems to push us further away. Here's something that happened on Facebook when a friend tried on a wig and put a photo of herself with it on, online. |
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Hallo, Readers!
So my friend Nethra walks into a clothing store, and finds that they sell accessories there as well. Accessories including wigs. Just for the heck of it, she tries on a wig and gets someone to take a photo.
Then, without mentioning that it’s a wig, she uses that as her profile picture on Facebook.
Here are some of the comments that follow:
(Note – using ‘commentor’ though I know it’s not a correct word!)
1. Oh my ! ! Love! U looking gorgeous!
2. Sexy
3. (Exchange between commentor and Nethra) What did you do to your hair? / It ain't good? / It is good dear ... but what did you do? / Did some magic
4. Your hairstyle looks really good!
5. Very cute ...
6. Suits you Nethra. Nice.
7. (Another exchange) Is this part of your book promotion? / What book? / Isn't that a South East Asian look? / It's not south east Asian look ... It's a normal hairstyle. / I thought you are trying to pass yourself off as Korean or something.
8. Couldn't recognize you yaar (friend) ... Total makeover
9. O my my!!! U look gud....
10. Finally you gave in to the stuff like make over and like that. I respected you for your self confidence. I thought you had the guts to carry yourself the way you are. But you have fallen to all the marketing gimmicks. Very sad for you.
11. Good one Nethra
12. Who's this beautiful lady!?
13. You look different and very good. Being well groomed is very important and way to go girl Proud of you.
14. I so love you too! You’ve got a new haircut to meet me?
15. Oh myyyyyyyyyy what’s going on
16. Oh yeah! That’s like my baby
17. Never seen u like this... Extraordinary change absolutely suits n compliments you... Love love love it...
18. lol...u look like someone else not nethra
19. Watz wrong with ur head !
20. Awesome Who is this looker btw?
There are more comments, I’ve selected a few and reproduced them above.
What struck me here is how quick people are to assume things (that it’s a complete change) and how quick they are to remark upon it. The comments seem to fall into these categories:
A. Complimentary / re-assuring (mostly)
B. Pleasantly surprised
C. Questioning
D. Derogatory (one)
Many of them try to form a link between Nethra and the commentor, and show how well they know her, how important each is in the life of the other.
So – Nethra knows and I know (and now you know) that it’s a wig. Would the commentors have said anything at all / something different if they’d known this too? I wonder ...
The thing is, LOOKS seem to be important to us. However much we say ‘beauty lies on the inside’ and what-not, when we see Nethra in a wig, we comment on the photo. Then we try and go beyond ‘skin deep’ and talk about her book, or her professional well-groomed look, or something. But first, it was the appearance that got us to click on the photo and make the comment.
So – looks are important to us. Talking about looks is important to us. Re-assuring people that we think they look good is important to us. Claiming connections, however fragile the basis, is important to us.
Now – it’s a wig. Nethra hasn’t really changed the way she looks at all. So therefore – should she have, because her supposed new look is better (according to the majority of the commentors) than the old one? Or should she prove to Commentor #10 that she does indeed have the ‘guts’ to carry herself the way she is and hasn’t fallen for any gimmicks? (What’s Commentor #10’s implication, anyway? Nethra needs ‘guts’ to be the way she is? It’s sad for her that she got a new look, but maybe even sadder to be her old self ... ?)
Sigh – and look at me. Analysing these comments threadbare. Maybe people didn’t mean them that deeply, anyway! Who means anything on Facebook – it’s just a place to read-comment-blink-go.
I haven’t got any answers here! I just put down some things that occurred to me, sparked off by a girl putting on a wig for fun!
Thanks for listening
Sonali |
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Thank you for the responses to "Spiritual Newsletter (June 5, 2013)"
Marci Missing Everyone 
The article and story you shared really touched me. I struggle with wondering what other people think about me, and what I really need to remember is that it is only important what God thinks about me.
Quick-Quill 
Sonali, Thank you for the post at the bottom of the newsletter. I usually don't follow links but this time there was something that made me click it and I'm glad I did. What a wonderful story. This is a great newsletter and your observations were right on. They also have given me food for thought about my characters. I am using those for reference as I form my characters. We all have issues even if what we are writing about ISN'T about the issue. Thanks again. |
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Spiritual: December 18, 2013 Issue [#6031]
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