  Action/Adventure
This week: Your Action Needed Edited by: Annette  
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| Hello writers and readers of action and adventure, I am Annette , your guest editor for this issue. |
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Your Action Needed
Save your stories from certain death. You must act now!
A little something different for an action/adventure letter. It's about your actions and the adventures you want to avoid having. The worst adventure any writer can go on is a hunt for a LOST MANUSCRIPT. Yes, I yelled that. This is serious!
Recently, I went about my portfolio, the hard drives in two computers, and even my emails to myself in search for a short story that I wrote. I found it on a CD. One CD. Did you see the number of places where that story could have been?
Whenever you write something, you need to take several actions before you call it a day.
1. Save you written work on a hard drive.
2. Email yourself the text and an attached copy to at least two addresses. (Not your WdC address)
3. Copy the piece to CD or pen drive.
4. Make an item (even private) here on Writing.Com.
These first four take about an extra two minutes after you're finished writing for the day. They can save you hours of seeking or a life time of sorrow. This fifth one is somewhat optional, especially if you go through all four steps above.
5. Print a copy on paper. Not always needed for a first draft, but sometimes even those deserve a paper copy.
If not: you could be on a chase that rivals Indiana Jones's adventures for lost treasures - but come up empty handed.
Take your writing serious. Just last week, a member asked if some of her work was still on the servers after she deleted it a year ago. No! If you delete something from here, it's not here any longer. Every time I read how somebody lost their precious writing, it breaks my heart. We work far too hard even on some sentences sometimes to just leave it up to fate what happens with it. Develop some OCD about this. There are a few instances in which the loss of our writing is not our fault - but for every time your writing can be backed up in at least a second place, do it.
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Comments I got for my last Action Adventure Newsletter "And ... ACTION!"
I asked: For my next Action/Adventure newsletter, send me the first two sentences of one of your stories or books through the submission tool below. I will give you my opinion on them. Do not send more than the first two sentences. Let's see how they feel. You can attach the item ID number to your submission if you want to.
Ben Garrick  wrote: Jack Roush put his right foot ‘in the kitchen’ going down the expressway on-ramp and by the time we got into the merge area at the bottom we were going more than a hundred miles an hour. I had, of course, buckled my five-point competition harness in his blue Cobra roadster as soon as I got into the passenger seat.
From Detroit: Autumn Red Published 2005 (some excerpts in my portfolio here)
I think my head is spinning. For one, the first sentence is very long and it took me twice reading it to find my "home" in it. Okay, once the pacing of the sentence settled in with me, I started seeing the action. Jack is a strong action hero name. Why though did the person riding with him refer to him with first and last name? That is usually a narrator's role, who then would not show up in first person in the same sentence. If the passenger calls him Jack, then that is what he should be. I think that is where the disconnect happened. I expected third person narration, but was then thrust into first person. The second sentence makes me feel safe. As long as the car isn't totaled, that buckled up person will live to tell the tale of what happened in the kitchen.
Elle - on hiatus wrote: Since you asked  , here are the first two sentences of my novel. It's a children's adventure novel (if that makes sense!).
It was an ordinary morning that gave no hint of the epic day yet to arrive.
It’s hard to come up with the perfect first line for a new story when your sister is complaining to your parents that you won’t let her in your room, your mum is yelling at you to tidy your room and the dog is barking at the next-door neighbour’s cat. "Grand & Epic Adventures"
A-ha. A kid working on a story. Nice. If in any way possible, take one mention of "room" out of that second sentence.
Arizona Lawman wrote: As I sit and try through the distant mist of memory to find that feeling, the past seems so far distant to where I am now. Yet the warmth of that morning feels almost real. "Invalid Item"
Not sure. Melancholy? Romance? Tropical island? It's got texture, that much is certain. Not much action, but it's got emotions in it, so definitely a good beginning in my opinion.
KittyLB9 wrote: "Dimness encircled us, broken only by the fire burning merrily in the fire place. I wished again for a merry feeling of my own."
I see what you did with the repetition of "merry" here, but for some reason it's not quite doing it. Maybe you have to use "merry" twice and not have it "merrily" once. It's also a sad beginning, makes me wonder if I want to go to that unmerry place or better put that book back on the shelf. I would keep reading after that second sentence because I want to see if the emotions are understandable to me. If they are, this could be a book to read all the way through. If the sentences keep staying sad, I don't think I'd make it past the first page.
NYPen wrote: Here is the first two sentences of my novel:
The weather doesn’t play well with dead bodies when it’s hot and humid in Greenville South Carolina and I was baking under the sun and the smell of the dead body wasn’t going to be pleasing. I took my badge and badge case out of my pocket, opened it, and put the flap into my Ann Taylor Loft pant suit coat which was fitting a little snug.
Yuck. Okay. Wow. What an intro. Better get that dead body out of the heat. And either lose weight or buy fitting suits. Why is that suit snug? Too much lunch or not enough money to buy new clothes? Since the person is an officer, that suit should be fitting. Unless they are wearing somebody else's suit?
What works: "The weather doesn't play well ..."
What doesn't work (for me): How long that first sentence is and that ill fitting suit. (Ann Taylor hints at a woman wearer. I'd picture a woman detective that stylish to have properly fitting clothes.)
Quick-Quill  wrote: YEA, Happy Dancing!! Finally some one who agrees with me! I don't think the first sentence or paragraph will make or break a story. I do agree there should be some kind of forshadowing or ? that draws the reader. The afore mentioned two books have been read by millions and I dare say their editor didn't say REWRITE the first line to be the line everyone will remember. I don't remember first lines. I give a book 50-99 pages to hook me. Somewhere in those pages there better be a lot of foreshadowing or action to keep me reading. I'll put it down unless its for a bookclub and I have to read it. Thank you again for standing on my side about first lines! You can be a SUCCESSFUL AUTHOR and not have your first lines engraved in stone.
 You are right. The first couple of lines won't make or break a whole book. I'd say the first few pages should give the reader something though.
The Run-on King PDG Member wrote: I remember how it all started; I was instructed by my beautiful wife to find out how the cat keeps escaping out of the house and fix it. Somehow the cat was getting out of the house.
Hook! I want to know how that cat got out of the house! Tell me!
allenalien wrote: I stood motionless, hip-deep in a tepid soup that resembled the bitter gritty cacao I had seen the natives drink. Creatures I was glad I could not see scrabbled past my legs. "Invalid Item"
A lot of strange things going on. There is dirty ... water? There are natives who drink cacao. And there are unseen creatures. I do want to know what those creatures are. Piranhas? Those are just creepy. They are definitely a Checkov's Gun and you will have to reveal what they are.
Dan Hiestand  wrote: I am a huge fan of this newsletter and have been for years. It helped to create my fantasy epic that I thought I would attach here just for the heck of it. But seriously, though! Thank you so much for being such a wonderful form of support for me! "Invalid Item"
 I've linked in the editor's picks. Hopefully you get some good reviews.
BIG BAD WOLF is Merry  wrote: Some stories start out nice and slow, putting you at ease, until something happens. Others though, they'll punch you in the jaw at the turn of the page, and keep on hitting you. "Redwall Interactive"
Nice log line.
Thomas Kelley wrote: A fire searing pain burnt in my chest as I recoiled backwards about a foot from the stench of gun powder. I heard the gasps and shrieks behind me from the others. "Babel Five -- The Prolouge"
Loads of action here, but these two first sentences definitely need the rest of the paragraph. That is not a bad thing! No two sentences have to always tell a whole story. In this case, "the others" is vague. How many? Male, female, animal, anthro? Recoiled from the stench of the gunpower. Who shot? The first person narrator or somebody else? Now you understand that these two sentences definitely need the rest of the paragraph. On the other hand, you have created a need for knowledge, so that makes me want to read on and find answers to those questions.
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Action/Adventure: January 15, 2014 Issue [#6100]
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