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This week: Going to the Gym in January Edited by: Sophurky  
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| Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. This week I'll be complaining about why I hate going to the gym in January. |
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Going to the Gym in January
Alright - let's be honest. No one likes going to the gym. No one in their right mind anyway. If you are reading this, and love going to the gym, well, bless your heart, but there's something wrong with you. For reals.  Mr. Sophy says he likes going to the gym. I correct him every time he says it. I say, "Sweetie pie, bless your heart. You don't like going to the gym. Once you go through all the trouble to get there, like driving 20 minutes, finding a place to park, going inside, putting your stuff in your locker - once you've done all that, it's safe to say you don't mind being there after going to all that effort, and working out might be okay since you are already there. But nobody in their right mind likes actually going TO the gym."
Mr. Sophy just nods in agreement, though I suspect he really doesn't agree and is just trying to get me to stop talking.
So we agree - nobody really likes going to the gym unless they are crazy. But we go, whining all the way, because it's good for us, and we want to live to see next week if possible. Maybe not every day, but if our goal is to make it more days a week than we miss, it's one we can usually achieve. At least that's true in my case. Except in January.
January is the absolute worst month to go to the gym for a couple of reasons I will outline below.
1. Everybody and their great uncle make a New Year's Resolution to lose weight. Everyone of those people then join my gym (or already have a membership and just start going again). So now in addition to the usual annoying people who are swimming in MY lap lanes when I get to the pool, there are a whole bunch of extra annoying people taking up even more space and causing me to wait for equipment or pool lanes, or, most importantly, the Jacuzzi.
2. It is ridiculously cold where I live, especially in January. We even had some Polar Express or something a couple of weeks ago. I didn't leave the house for six days because it was so cold. We could barely get the dog out to go potty it was so cold. The thought of suiting up for the gym, putting on multiple layers so I don't die of hypothermia on my way to the gym, driving in my ice-mobile (which conveniently warms up just about the time I pull into the gym parking lot), getting out of the car to walk 20 life-threatening steps to the gym doors, and then reversing the process an hour or so later is just to much to bear.
I know what your thinking. #2 should reverse the effects of #1. And that may be true. But when it drops to single digits I don't bother even pretending I might go the the gym "later," so I wouldn't really know if it effects the newbies the same way. The point is, January so overwhelms my gym sensibilities that I rarely go during the month - and probably should just freeze my membership every year in January so as not to waste the money! And then, since my gym membership is frozen, I should just fly somewhere, anywhere warmer! Wherever that is, I bet they have gyms. Tho let's be honest, I'd have a whole new batch of excuses for not going to those! 
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Here are some responses to my last newsletter "Comedy Newsletter (December 25, 2013)" about the holidays:
From LJPC - the tortoise  :
Hi Sophy! I loved your newsletter. Yes, gift-giving can be a difficult-to-navigate minefield. At least your MIL wasn't malicious. My grandma once sent me several pairs of "Queen size" pantyhose. I was delighted until she admitted to my mom that they were sent to shame me into going on a diet. But I fooled her because I don't shame easily and am very practical - I just laughed and got a lot of use out of those big comfortable hose!  I'm wishing you and your family a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2014!
~ Laura
Oh dear, that was mean of Granny! Ouch. Thank you for the holiday wishes - I hope the same for you!
   
From Avid Writer ~ God is My Agent :
I love "Those Merry Happy Holidays." Keep up the great comedy stories!
Thanks so much!
Thanks for all your comments - keep them coming! Until next time, Sophurky |
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Comedy: January 22, 2014 Issue [#6113]
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