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Cut Your Clutter!
Tightening written drafts is all about cutting the clutter! Fish out words that don't amplify your writing. |
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So, one of the things that was impressed upon me as part of the classes I took this past winter is precisely how small the percentage of stories is that sell from slush -- that is, stories that are submitted to a magazine's open submissions. It's a dismal number, especially if you have your sights set on a professional-paying publication. It varies from publication to publication, of course, but it's easy enough to just assume:
a fraction of one percent. It could be .1, .01, .001 ... Does it matter after a certain point? The bottom line is stories that sell are a tiny percentage compared with the rest. Your story doesn't have to be good, or even great. By its nature, it has to be literally exceptional.
This isn't meant to scare you off, and I can see why it might. It's meant to be a prod, an encouragement. It's a difficult process sometimes.
One of the suggestions we received was to have the tightest possible manuscript. Part of this is making sure you have an excellent story, in terms of plot and character development. The next part, in my opinion, is even more difficult.
Department of Redundancy Department: one of the things I have to watch out for in my writing is a tendency to add multiple choices (unintentionally) to my work. I often test varying turns of phrase in my working draft, and if I forget to delete one in a later draft, it might stick around for a while until I notice it. Find the strongest single wording and cut the hedges around it.
Beef Up Weak Verbs: I know I harp on this a lot, but that's because it's such an important detail that so many writers miss. Verbs describe action, and using adverbs and other modifiers adds fatty word count without significantly improving your readers' understanding of the text.
Unnecessary Intermissions: check for unneeded scene breaks. In a short story, unless it's a really necessary thematic element, scene breaks pull the reader out of the story, and then remind them that they're reading a story, so we want to avoid them as often as we can!
Rather Quite Very Suddenly, Then: are all words you don't often need in your fiction. Search and destroy. These are modifiers we use in colloquial speech which do nothing to amplify most fiction. Use more direct language than rather, quite, very, suddenly, or then, except in dialogue situations. In dialogue, usage should be sparing; these are the literary equivalent of watering down your descriptions. For the first three, excise without fear. If in need of a "suddenly" or a transitional "then", omit the word and try a carriage return or a paragraph break to indicate the suddenness without saying the word.
Over-Specificity: watch out for obvious over-specific phrases -- the branch of the tree versus the treebranch, for example. "Of the" constructions have a tendency to add dense cluttering while not being any clearer to read. (5 words versus 2 doesn't make a lot of difference in a single edit, but imagine how that adds up over a manuscript!)
While I am sure this is far from a complete list of possibilities, this should help you find your footing and begin the process of ruthless self-editing! It takes a lot of work to be exceptional, ya know.  Good luck, good hunting.
Until next time,
Take care and Write on!
~j
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Enormous mailbag this week! 
{feedback from "What's Enough Detail?" :
Mumsy  writes:
Thank you for featuring one of my stories in this month's newsletter!
It's my pleasure!
blunderbuss writes:
Hi Jay! Thanks again for the newsletter, which was especially timely for me and the piece I am working on at the moment.
This question may seem too big to cover here, but I will ask it anyway! One of my current projects is the 3rd novel in a saga type romance/historical/adventure (19th century). Question is: how much should I try to link back to events in the previous novels? At first, I thought I had to explain so much - but that's boring and if the reader has read the first two books it is also unnecessary. What generalised guidance could you give me?
Well, this is the Short Stories newsletter, but I think the advice works just as well for a series of shorts, so here goes: I personally feel like, within a story, it is acceptable that there are events which have occurred outside the timeline of the current story. References or allusions to these times can often enhance the readers' experience, as this makes it more plausible that these characters have existed well outside of the narrow window of the individual stories' time frame. A caveat, however-- plots from previous stories should be sufficiently resolved as to not be confusing to a new reader. Again, this is all just my opinion and conjecture, but I figured it was worth taking a stab at it!
aegreenfield submits the following: "Invalid Item"
I struggle, too, with details. I don't want my writing to be an info dump, but I want the reader to have a clear image of the scene. I'm submitting Chapter 2 of my romance novel so reviewers can give me detail suggestions.
More novel stuff. I try not to include too much novel stuff in the Short Stories newsletter, but I guess I'm making an exception this week! Eagle-eyed readers: anyone out there want to give it a go?
vada  writes:
Another great newsletter, Jay. Lots of good information to remember and put into practice. Vada
aw shucks! 
Tileira writes:
I think you've answered the question very well!
The trick to description is to get the nouns in. What objects are in the room (if it's a room)? What objects are actually important enough or large enough to be mentioned? If no-one is sitting in the chair or otherwise interacting with it, do you need to mention it? does it really matter what colour it is?
The only time you should really spend a lot of words on describing something is if the character is specifically studying it. Most of the time people take in a second long snapshot of what we see and then hone in on what we need (a person, and object we're looking for, and action to be performed).
So unless the character is hooked on the vista or investigating a crime scene or sizing up a woman at the other end of the bar, we don't really need more than a sentence or two of description.
Even then, I think there's a limit to close studies of something like five sentences. If you haven't mentioned it in the first five sentences, it's not important enough to mention immediately.
This is excellent advice, and I completely agree. I'd say two or three sentences, even-- by five sentences in, something better have happened by now.
Elfin Dragon-finally published writes:
What's enough detail? For me I suppose it depends upon what I'm writing. I love to put detail into my stories and often have to remember to not put too much in. But as an exercise it's always nice to write something which takes the reader on a ride through all the senses.
I like to add as much detail as I can, and then whittle it down when I go in to edit-- I wouldn't worry about putting too much in as long as you remember to go back in and take it out later!
Feedback from "The Value of Rewriting" -- over at For Authors last week!
jerics writes:
Nicely written, Thank you for writing this. I was beginning to do some self doubt. There are a few stories and poems I had posted here finding myself doing a second draft a third draft.
I had even mentioned somewhere along the lines about how some view writers. Writing is not that easy this I will say prideful, it takes time to put words and or rhyme together.
I Thank you once again for this ppst.
Self-doubt is the natural state of a writer, I think.
brom21 writes:
Letting a work sit for while and then come back to it is what a lot of people have told me. I plan to do that with story that I finished with a few days ago. Hopefully I’ll pick out lots of mistakes! Thanks!
I hope it works! you'll have to let us know how it went!
Angus  writes:
Hi Jay,
Great Newsletter! Those bits of advice really hit home, especially that one about putting it away for awhile. Thanks for the info!
Of course! It's a pretty common problem for many of us-- myself included! Letting a draft rest gives not only the benefit of seeing with more objective eyes what needs to be cut, but also what can be savored.
Elfin Dragon-finally published writes:
I love what you've written here on re-writing. In truth I think I use all these methods. (with the exception of printing it out - used to but don't anymore due to arthritis) Being able to utilize as many options to make sure your writing is a near "perfect" as you can make it is obviously the goal.
Excellent! The "print" suggestion is mostly a reminder; it works well for some and not for others, so as long as you're figuring out your own way, I think that's great! And you are absolutely right to take as many options for success as you can.
Zeke writes:
This is very good advice indeed. I have also found that before rewriting, I attempt to construct an outline of the story.
Zeke
Excellent, Zeke! I think I have an older editorial about doing exactly that kicking around here somewhere... I'll have to take a look.
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Short Stories: April 29, 2015 Issue [#6962]
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