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This week: I Before E (Except After C) Edited by: Annette  
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| Hello fun readers, I am Annette and a guest editor for this issue. So, don't expect this to be half as funny as the Comedy Newsletters from the trained professionals. Here we go. |
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I Before E (Except After C)
English has some very strict rules outside of the exceptions.
Are English Teachers Out to Get You?
As an English as a second language learner (I started learning English in third grade), I never heard of the rule "I before E." Until I moved to the United States, that is.
I can't speak for English learners in other non-native English speaking countries, but I was surprised by the rule when I heard it first, as it seemed to make no sense. Turns out, I was correct for once. There are only 44 words that follow the "I before E" rule, while 923 words do NOT follow that rule.
Just to add to the fun, there is an amendment to the rule, which goes like this: "I before E, except after C." Usually this last one is followed up by a simple "weird." (No C in sight inside of "weird.") And it also leaves the question why "science" is spelled correctly with I before E ... after a C!!! 
There are websites, think tanks, internet memes, legions of scholars trying to figure this out. When in reality, you only have to take it one word at a time and remember the proper spelling already. I really don't mean to offend anybody, but it appears English as a second language learners who get rote-hammered with vocabulary words have a slight advantage. Or some teachers don't know of the I before E rule.
So, remember this instead:
I before E, except when you get eight receipts for a sleight heist from a feisty weird beige foreign neighbor named O'Reilly or Steinemann.
It makes no sense, but it's more fun.
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This week, let's play with English!
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Comedy: June 24, 2015 Issue [#7023]
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