  Spiritual
This week: The Human Connection Edited by: Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline  
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We all need other people in our lives. For some of us, however, having a connection with others is complicated...
This week's Spiritual Newsletter is all about the human connection, and the things that can stand in its way.
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As a person who has social phobia, I am not really good at connecting with people. Meeting and interacting with one new person is difficult; meeting up with several is pretty much a no-no. As you can no doubt understand, it makes life complicated. Most places I visit have people in them. Buses, trains, concerts, cinemas all attract people. If I want a job, I need to speak with people. My doctor is a person. So is my dentist.
Mostly, people don't understand what a social phobia actually is. They think it's a simple matter of being shy. I used to be shy, and this is different. When faced with another person, I have this deep-seated notion that the person in question will automatically think that I am ugly, stupid and worthless. Moreover, I experience a sinking feeling of anxiety that triggers a fight or flight reaction – thankfully, in my case, the reaction is flight. Except that I can't flee. Not really. It's socially unacceptable for me to do so. Which makes me feel in a state of panic, with a pounding heart, dizziness, and a dreadful sensation that I could end up vomiting at any time.
As you can no doubt imagine, it isn't fun to live like that. I haven't been to a cinema or a concert in years. I sit my exams at home, with a supervisor, rather than in an exam hall with loads of others. I mostly speak with my GP over the phone and have skillfully avoided my dentist, though I really need a check-up. This week, I had an opportunity to visit a company that wants me to work for them so badly that they offered to pay for my travel, hotel and meals, just for me to attend a meeting. They also offered me an all expenses paid weekend in Centre Parks. And all I can think about is my anxiety.
At my worst, I even alienate myself from my family and friends. If people don't stop by my house, I can drift away from them. This does not mean that I don't like them, or that I don't value them or care about them – it's a matter of feeling drained by interaction with other people, regardless of who it is. Yet, the loneliness induced by this condition has highlighted to me the importance of human connection and interaction.
Human beings need other human beings. We are social creatures. We have a need for company, to talk, to share, to care, to laugh and cry together, to hug. All these interactions are beneficial to one's health. Arguably, they are also beneficial to one's spiritual health.
In isolation, one's mind can be preoccupied with worries. Connection with others makes us realise that people can relate, and can help us share the burden. It makes us realise that we have things to be grateful for, and highlights realistic areas in which we can improve. It gives us an opportunity to be kind, and helpful, and charitable. To not only receive support but provide us. It can help us see the lighter side of life, instead of leaving us dwell in the dark.
All these benefits can be cause of positive and meaningful reflection. Through others, we can gain self-awareness. And through connection, we can make a difference in the world – rather than leaving everything to God or a Higher Power, we can do good work in His name.
That is why I would like to encourage those of you in a similar state of isolation to try reconnect with other humans. And to not be a hypocrite, I will take steps in that direction as well. I have already reached out to an estranged family member. One step at a time, we will get there.
kittiara
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Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
The Spiritual Newsletter Team
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Spiritual: July 15, 2015 Issue [#7104]
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