  Spiritual
This week: Being Confident Edited by: NaNoKit  
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"Be confident," people say. Of course, it is not that easy, is it?
This week's Spiritual Newsletter is all about confidence, and the obstacles on the path to achieving it.
kittiara |
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Confidence. It's an attractive trait, people say. Everyone should have it. If only it were that simple...
As you may have gathered, I am not very confident. Not in my looks, not in my social skills, not in general. I think that confidence is learned, and that it starts from childhood. If children know themselves to be loved, if they are taught to believe in themselves and in their abilities, if their talents are gently nurtured, and they know that it's okay to not be as good at everything, they are likely to grow up armed with a healthy dose of confidence and self-esteem.
I quite admire the American “can-do” attitude. That is not to say that I believe every single American to be confident, but that general spirit of positivity does seem, well, positive. I was raised, instead, to expect the worst, so that I wouldn't be disappointed when it happened. It took me a long time to realise that that isn't a very constructive approach, and I still haven't managed to shake it off completely.
I have learned to have faith in some of my abilities. For example, I may not be a brilliant writer, but I can write a decent poem, a decent story and a decent article. When necessary, I can be politely persuasive in my letters, which is handy in certain situations, such as helping people deal with businesses when there is a problem. I can be nice – it's official, it says so on my medical records. Kit? She is very nice. And up to recently, I was pretty confident in my academic abilities, but my 60 credit economics module is making me ask some serious questions about my level of intelligence.
How, then, do you become confident? You can't simply snap your fingers and there you go, confidence achieved. It would be great if that were possible. Unfortunately, the mind doesn't work like that.
Those who have a religious or spiritual faith may find comfort in the notion that whatever else, there is Someone who cares about them, and wishes the best for them. This means that even if they find it difficult to love themselves, they are loved. That can be a first step towards building confidence.
Even then, it takes a lot of work. It means trying things to see if you can do it. Trying not to get too upset if you fail. Accepting that there will be things that you are never going to be very good at, that that is okay because nobody is going to be good at everything, and focusing on those areas in which you show promise.
When it comes to looks, it is important to realise that as even supermodels are airbrushed, and therefore not considered beautiful enough in this day and age, we can hold ourselves to unreasonable standards. The people around us, passing us on the streets, don't look like the cover of a glossy magazine. Yet, at least some of them will be confident. So why shouldn't we?
It is also important to realise that most, if not all people have some insecurities about themselves. Even those who appear to be completely confident. It is natural to worry every now and then. That is why it is good to be kind (or one of the reasons, anyway). By being kind and understanding of others, we may help them become more confident and, in turn, nurture our own confidence levels. Win-win.
We live in a world in which there is a lot of pressure on us to conform. Sometimes the greatest pressure is from our peers. But all of us are different. And that should be okay. The greatest challenge of all, then, is probably to accept that. You are unique. I am unique. We can be confident in our very own uniqueness.
Of course, it would really help right now if I had a unique talent for maths and statistics...
kittiara
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The Spiritual Newsletter Team welcomes any and all questions and suggestions, thoughts and feedback, so please don't hesitate to write in! 
Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
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Spiritual: December 02, 2015 Issue [#7352]
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