Noticing Newbies
This week: How to Respond to a Tough Review Edited by: Sara♥Jean More Newsletters By This Editor
1. About this Newsletter 2. A Word from our Sponsor 3. Letter from the Editor 4. Editor's Picks 5. A Word from Writing.Com 6. Ask & Answer 7. Removal instructions
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How to Respond to a Tough Review
We all receive them. Those reviews that just cut us to the core. Learn how to breathe, and think constructively.
Let's face it, no matter how attached we really are to our writing, when someone rips it to shreds for whatever reason, it hurts. When it is something we are particularly proud of, though. Or something that is very special to us, it hurts even more. Sometimes, they don't even really have to say anything particularly mean, it's maybe just that they don't like it very much that hurts us.
However, when reading these reviews, we need to remember just a few things.
1. Reviews are text. The person writing them may not be meaning to be mean-spirited. We may be taking it that way because our writing is so personal to us.
Text, by nature, is impersonal and easily misinterpreted. Even with the addition of multiple emoticons and colors and several other things to doctor it up and pretty it up, it can still be very easily misunderstood and misinterpreted.
Suggestion: If it is reading as mean, set it aside for a day or two, and read it again. OR, have a friend read it, and then have them interpret it in their words. See if they can find the constructive criticism from it. As the item being reviewed isn't as personal to them, since it is not theirs, they will be able to view it with fresh and different eyes.
Exception: Don't make it your best friend, your spouse, or someone deeply protective of you. They might take it the exact same way you do.
2. Some people are mean and rude.
Some people don't mean to help anyone out at all. They just wish to be rude, and to hurt others. If you happen to run across them, this is what you do.
Suggestion: The first time you get something from them, ignore them. If they are obviously just trying to be mean, they obviously aren't worth your time. Don't respond to them, because it will only start an email war - you are actually feeding right into what they want. They threw the first punch, you responded in kind, and therefore the war is justified. Don't engage.
The second time, block them, and report them. Likely, if they are doing it to you, they are doing it to others. Mean people are mean, and it is rarely isolated.
3. Reviews are suggestions. You are under no obligation to change your item the ways they mention.
If you don't agree with what they have to say, you do not have to change what they want you to. Find the things you do agree with - rarely does a review arrive that doesn't have a good suggestion to it. The things you don't agree with, don't change. No harm, no foul.
4. Don't forget to thank the reviewer.
Unless they are truly just horribly rude, don't forget to thank them. Even if you don't take any of their suggestions, they did take their time to give you their opinion. Not everyone does. (No need to elaborate on what you did and didn't change, either. It isn't needed. Or to tell them they are wrong about some of their changes. Just thank them for taking their time to stop by your portfolio and give you some feedback.) It is appreciated, and it encourages them to do more. It shows them that their time was appreciated. Even if you didn't exactly agree with them.
5. If you feel so inclined, pay it forward.
Some of the best ways that reviewers learn how to review is to receive reviews. If their review hurt your feelings, you could consider showing them how they could do a better job by picking one of their items and giving them a review (one that wouldn't hurt someone's feelings). Show them how you would do it. They might learn a trick from you. They might not, but you never know. Can't hurt to try.
I hope this gives you some ideas for approaching those reviews that tug at our heartstrings and hurt a bit. But the best advice of all I didn't put above. I want to put it here:
If you are writing from your heart, and YOU are proud of what you have done, ultimately, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it. |
Let's take a look at some of the items from some of our newer members. Don't forget to leave them a review and welcome them to the site!
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter! https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
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From "Noticing Newbies Newsletter (January 27, 2016)" , Cadie Laine - spooky eyed lady said, "Thank you for these explanations. It is helping me with where to place some of my work. Most of mine is under experience right now. Thank you again."
Glad I could be of help! There's a lot of genres out there. I didn't realize what all was there, really, until I had been here quite some years.
Whata SpoonStealer said, "Excellent information for moi! Thank you."
You're welcome!
From "Noticing Newbies Newsletter (November 4, 2015)" , Elfin Dragon-finally published said, "I've been catching up on reading newsletters and found "Those Days Happen" in my stash. It's a very true thing writing can be therapeutic. I've often told people around me that if I couldn't write poetry I'm not sure where I would be today. Poetry is my lifeblood and anchor. When I cannot contain my emotions the paper easily takes them on and I'm whole once more."
Goodness, you were going back there, weren't ya?! That's alright, I do that sometimes, too. There are times when I just have to write. I had one of those last week. I was so angry/frustrated, writing was exactly what I needed. The blog post will come out sometime in July. One of those things...
From "Noticing Newbies Newsletter (March 23, 2016)" , A*Monaing*Faith said, "What a great idea/theme for a NL!
I had no idea what the "Writing" genre was about and didn't even know there WAS a "Writing.com" genre, rarely get that far down the list.
I still am not sure Teen/YA are that different. Then again YA can be anyone under 30, though it's not targeted that way in the bookstores and on major lists like the NY Best Sellers.
I justify my love for YA because I want to write at least one YA series; but the added truth is: I relate to, enjoy the shorter (often shallower [seemingly, on the surface]) sentences and phrasing.
Call it millennial backlash but I foresee the future of novels leaning more towards todays YA style and 'Famous Person' autobiographies."
I would say the MAIN difference between teen and young adult is the fact that young adult does reach much higher than teen. As a 25 year old, I would have still considered myself a young adult, but no longer was interested in reading Nancy Drew, who was in high school, you know? That sort of thing.
I am glad you found some new genres! I, too, love the YA style, but I am much older.
I'd love to hear from you guys! Keep writing in! |
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