Short Stories
This week: Introverts, Extroverts, and You Edited by: Shannon More Newsletters By This Editor
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"If you're an introvert, you spend so much of your time wishing that other people would just shut the hell up that you figure you're doing everyone a favor." ~ David Wong
I grew up in a house filled with introverts, although I didn't know it at the time. We lived in Alaska on 20 acres in the middle of nowhere. Back in those days there were four television channels to choose from: ABC, NBC, CBS, and PBS, and that was on a good day if you could get the rabbit ears just right. Cartoons could only be found on Saturday mornings, so we had to entertain ourselves.
Looking back, even though there were five other people in the house, I spent the majority of my time alone. I was never bored. I was perfectly content hiding in a tree, reading books, or listening to music in my room. It never occurred to me that I was abnormal or weird. My first inkling that I was different happened when I was seventeen. I'd been tricked (I was basically kidnapped) into attending a surprise baby shower for a coworker, after which someone put on St. Elmo's Fire. Remember the scene in the film where Andrew McCarthy goes to Demi Moore's apartment and sees the face of a man painted on her living room wall? One of the girls I was watching the movie with said, "Oh. My. God. I would love to have that on my wall!" I turned to her and said, "Who is it?" Every one of them, six or seven in all, gawped at me as if E.T. himself was sitting in their midst. Of course I'd heard of Billy Idol because I loved music, but I'd never seen him before and had no clue what he looked like.
Several years ago I watched a TED Talk in which Susan Cain spoke about being an introvert in an extroverted society. During the speech Cain plugged her new book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. The book has been in my queue for a long time, years, and I finally started reading it two days ago.
I'm assuming the majority of people reading this newsletter are introverts like me, because many (most?) writers are introverts. If you haven't read Susan's book, I highly recommend it. It's a very scientific, in-depth look at what makes people either introverted or extroverted. For example, studies have shown that introversion is 40-50% heritable, and that 1/3-1/2 of the population--every two to three people you know and/or meet--are introverts. So why is it that we are often looked upon as sideshow freaks? Here's one example: I personally know a woman in her 30s--an extremely extroverted professional with a college degree--who ended a years-long friendship because the dumpee didn't attend the dumper's very loud and raucous birthday party.
It's incredible to me that a country which prides itself on being forward-thinking is still so uninformed and closed-minded about this particular topic. We're still forcing quiet children to participate in group activities, preaching "group think" in the workplace, and calling the people we work with "teammates" instead of coworkers or employees. Quiet children are encouraged to come out of their shells (while the not-so-quiet ones are labeled as ADD/ADHD and put on medication), and quiet adults are referred to as backward, socially retarded, uncaring, aloof, and even frigid.
Research has shown that introverts are more sensitive to their surroundings, therefore we must be more selective about who and what we allow in. Extroverts need to be around other people; introverts need alone time and solitude. During large group/party situations extroverts feel recharged and more energetic as the night goes on; introverts feel drained, trapped, and are looking for any excuse to leave. Extroverts love smalltalk and will often strike up conversations with complete strangers; introverts loathe smalltalk and feel extremely uncomfortable when inadvertently cast into a situation that demands it.
So what does all this have to do with writing? Well, if you're an introvert, it has everything to do with it.
Life can be demanding. Between our jobs, our families, our friends, and our churches, we have little time to ourselves, which is problematic for the introverted writer. Everyone and everything wants something from us, and that something is our time. Of course we're willing to give our time to these things, and it's often to our own detriment. We're always looking out for everyone and everything else before we take what we need for ourselves, and what we need is seclusion and quietude in which to work.
Some of the most successful thinkers, writers, and inventors of all time are/were introverts: J.K. Rowling, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss), Mahatma Gandhi, Charles Darwin, Sir Isaac Newton. These people do/did their best work alone, and they made it a priority to set aside time to do it.
Introverts, there is nothing wrong with you. Don't apologize for who and what you are, and don't pretend to be something you're not so others will feel more comfortable in your presence. You should no more apologize for being an introvert than a blind man should apologize for not being able to see. It's how you were born. It's in your genes. Be kind to yourself and others. By understanding and embracing our differences we acknowledge and validate the contributions each personality type has to offer.
“Isn’t it refreshing to know that what comes perfectly natural for you is your greatest strength? Your power is in your nature. You may not think it’s a big deal that you can spend hours immersed in something that interests you--alone--but the extrovert next door has no idea how you do it.”~ Laurie Helgoe
Are you an introvert? How does your personality type affect your writing? If you've never taken a personality test but would like to, check out this 64-question freebie based on Carl Jung and Isabel Briggs Meyers' personality type theory. In the meantime, please enjoy Susan Cain's TED Talk (below).
Thank you for reading.
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I hope you enjoy this week's featured selections. Please do the authors the courtesy of reviewing the ones you read. Thank you, and have a great week!
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| | The Building (13+) Curiosity gets the better of me as I noticed a strange building in downtown Seattle. #1559221 by Riot |
| | Heaven (E) The most profound events can occur when you're not even looking for them. #1716726 by JDMac |
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The following is in response to "Transgressions and Taboos" :
Quick-Quill writes, "Another movie (story) is Brokeback Mountain. Then the new one Me Before You, which deals with assisted suicide." Yes! Brokeback Mountain is indeed a great example. I've got Me Before You in my reading queue (the books are always better than the movies), but I haven't read it yet. I did watch a documentary on Netflix a few years ago about assisted suicide titled How to Die in Oregon. Tough stuff, but conversation is a necessary gateway to understanding.
Starr Phenix writes, "Great newsletter, Shannon! It sparked so many little flickers of excitement and imagination in me. Those dark places are so much fun to explore on the written page. I think I need to do that more often!" Yay! I'm glad you liked it.
Osirantinous writes, "Great newsletter, Shannon. One man's taboo is another man's treasure so there's always going to be lovers and haters. My main novel has a relationship between a 16-year-old and an adult. Totally reciprocal but that's still a massive taboo for some. I do worry how I might get readers but then again I've read books with 13-year-old narrators full of swearing and sexual references so who can really say what's taboo these days. I've not read any Daniel Woodrell, but he sounds like he writes reality!" Yes, he really does. It's funny how one person (you) can write about a teenager having a relationship with an adult and it's considered taboo, yet another can write about the same thing (e.g. 12-year-old Dolores Haze in Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov) and it's called a classic. What is/is not taboo is a matter of opinion--purely subjective. Thank you for reading and commenting! |
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