  Spiritual
This week: Soulmates -- Myth or Reality? Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER  
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Woman-to-woman,
about soulmates. |
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Dear Reader,
At an all-women's event recently, the talk turned to 'soulmates' -- and I think the discussion gives a lot of food for thought.
The ideas I present below are gleaned from the discussion, women of various ages, single or married, sharing what they think about the concept of a 'soulmate'.
(To keep the sense of what was originally said, I have transcribed a lot of it, I have not tried to re-phrase if it wasn't necessary to do so.)
Some things that emerged were:
It is important to love yourself before you can love another.
Marriage is a voluntary decision you make to spend the rest of your life with your friend -- your best friend, your soulmate.
The fact that you got married in the first place indicates that you have this emotional connection You know fully well what you're getting in to -- and you have to be comfortable with your space. If you are getting married because you want someone to emotionally lean on all the time and you are not very stable by yourself, then your priorities (what you're trying to derive from marriage) are entirely different. But if you're someone who is very comfortable about yourself and you just want a companion, that is a very different thing.
It is when you are comfortable with yourself and are in a relationship that the relationship can be stable. Since you're not looking at the other to fill some sort of void, you won't think of cheating.
The role of the media
"I blame authors and screenplay writers for this perception that there is this one guy who is going to fulfill all your needs -- he'll be there, he'll be sobbing his heart out to you. It puts a lot of pressure on one guy."
Reaching an understanding
Being soulmates means working things out. If you're married and living together day after day, you need to figure out what works. Winning a point should not be more important than solving a problem.
"I often find, when my husband and I are discussing something or arguing about something, that, in the heat of the moment I forget what I wanted to say. I've often forgotten the main point I started out wanting to make. Now, I send emails to my husband, so that I can think clearly and make my point clearly. He replies. It helps. We're both so clear with our communication now and there is a record!"
Treating him as a human being
"I've been married for fourteen years, and over the years I have learnt that, while I can forgive a friend his or her faults, I can't forgive my husband - for the same fault. Once the perception changed, there's a lot more peace in our house."
Fitting the pieces together
There is an "I" and there is a "WE". Each of us is trying to fit in the pieces to make the "I" a "WE".There is no gender for a soulmate, and there is no one single soulmate, because many other pieces can resonate with you.
"I cannot stress the importance of my female friends. If you find love and companionship among your friends, cherish it."
"Different moods or different needs can be met by different people. Sometimes, I need someone with whom I can laugh and have a completely fun time. There is a 4 A.M. friend. Everyone needs a 4 A.M. friend, whom you can call and say 'you know, my life is cracked up'. Different people meet different needs. There can be multiple soulmates, or different soulmates at different stages of life."
The very definition of a soulmate
So how do you define a soulmate -- and should this be at the beginning of the discussion, or the end? I'm putting it here, at the end of the discussion.
"I define a soulmate as someone who has the key to my lock, or someone whose lock I have the key to. It's about compatibility."
Well, that's from the live discussion I attended. I further asked Writing Dot Com members what they think of the idea of a soulmate. Find their responses here, and add yours!  "Soulmates" 
Hoping to hear from you! 
Thanks,
- Sonali.
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Thank you for the responses to "Spiritual Newsletter (August 17, 2016)"
Quick-Quill 
Sonali its a wonder insight. I think this could help a lot of writers who need to write a FRIEND into the MS that just listens, or is the voice of reason. Those people are what can make or break a scene.
katesthename
Sometimes silence is golden. In fact, as I'm finding out, silence is golden a whole lot.
Kanish ~ we got this! 
Very well put, Sonali. A human presence is all what we need sometimes!
bamid2
That article was great- When you give positive energy to someone, back him up, agree with his opinions, show you care for him, communicate to him and give him support, he will be able to confront his problems or any disaster that he is facing, and therefore, he will be able to overcome the disaster. Thank you, Bijan Ami
Zeke 
While I agree that we all have some usefulness, too many never make use of it. Zeke
Mary Ann MCPhedran 
I enjoyed reading your news letter I liked the swimming content, I have been in hotels abroad and come across the chair where the life guard should be sitting but it's empty and he rescued a small child in the pool. You have done a good job with the news letter.Thanks for sharing. Mary Mc Phedran
Jay O'Toole 
Thanks for this newsletter, Sonali! Sometimes it feels like life is passing me by. Computers are getting faster. I can't keep up. A child knows more than I do about technology, but still I try to do what I can.
I'm getting older and slower. My child is getting older and faster. If experience has any value, then it tells me to stand still and watch The Lord work as I simply occupy my post in life. It's good to be reminded, that that's important. Thanks, again. :D |
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Spiritual: November 09, 2016 Issue [#7959]
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