Spiritual
This week: The Kindness of Strangers Edited by: NaNoKit More Newsletters By This Editor
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We all go through stuff. It may not always show, but we do. That is why kind gestures can make a difference.
This week's Spiritual Newsletter is about travels, and the nice side to humanity.
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As I write this, I am in Edinburgh. Quite a few hours away from where I normally live – it’s been a long journey. I haven’t been looking forward to traveling here. Sure, Edinburgh is a beautiful city. I would love to visit here under less stressful circumstances. But in one day, out one day just for a passport application isn’t much fun. I’m on my own, rather than with a pleasant travel companion. And I am not great on public transport. And I’ve found that whilst I can lock the door to my hotel room when I am in it, it doesn’t do so whilst I am out of it, so exploration of the city is suddenly even less tempting than it was before. Oh, and the wifi keeps going down.
Why am I writing about my travel woes? It made me think of how you never know what other people are going through.
I can get very anxious, but I have been told in the past that others can’t tell when I am. Outwardly, I seem calm. I’ll talk with people. Even joke with people. Everything seems normal, whilst on the inside there are all sorts of mixed emotions going on, most likely involving an urge to run far, far away from the situation.
The train from Leeds to Edinburgh was hot, and there weren’t any windows one could open. It was packed, too. And it was so cramped that for most of the journey I had to sit with my bags on my knees – not the most comfortable position to be in. For a few stops, there were a lady and a gentleman behind me. Each traveling alone, too. He was on his way to visit his daughter, but he worried about the big step from the train to the platform. That is why he doesn’t visit her nearly as often as he’d like. The lady’s in a stressful job and just had to attend a course for it. She couldn’t wait to be home with her dog. At weekends, she does a course that’s in line with her own interests – very different to the career she is in. The lady and I both watched the gentleman being helped off the train by kind railway personnel, and his daughter was there with a wheelchair. That was nice.
The unknown people around us each have their own story. Sometimes, you can pick up on snippets of it, as with the lady and the gentleman. Others you can only guess at. Part of the journey in, a shy girl sat down next to me. She was mostly on her phone. I mostly gazed out of the window wishing I’d at least have got a seat on the other side, because the view was a whole load better there – the coastline and hills and such. You get that awkward thing where the train goes around a bend and your legs touch because the seats are narrow and you both try to subtly shuffle back, in a non-rude, I-don’t-think-you-are-eww-but-I-don’t-know-you kind of way. Maybe she was a student returning home from Uni. Maybe she was visiting someone. Who knows?
What really helps is people being nice to you. Yes, even complete strangers. We may think that our actions don’t matter much, but they can, and no doubt often do. Like the gentleman, listening to the lady’s story about work. He even offered her a cup of coffee when the trolley went past. And the lady keeping an eye on if the gentleman ended up safely with his daughter. Neither of them had to – they were strangers to the other – but they did. I had a very sweet taxi driver on my way to the hotel. When he learned I was not familiar with Edinburgh, he explained the route he was taking, and pointed out sites of interest along the way. We ended up chatting about politics and philosophy, and when he dropped me off by the hotel he asked if I was going to be okay, which was very kind.
It’s that touch of humanity that helps. That recognition that we may be strangers, but we’re both people, we both go through stuff. A bit of kindness goes a long way. It did make me feel safer here in a city that I am unfamiliar with. It reminded me that most people are pretty decent, when you get right down to it. It encouraged me to step out of the hotel after getting myself settled and to go for a stroll in the park that lies opposite. There were people playing with their dogs, and there were seagulls around and that made me happy, because I grew up by the coast but now live in the middle of England. It was better than being stuck in my room from the moment I arrived, paranoid about thieves.
I know it’s tempting to keep our heads down. To avoid interaction with strangers as much as possible. Either because of our own struggles, or out of fear of the other, because you never know. But I find that many people do respond well to a smile, or to a friendly word when the occasion arises. So, to the strangers who have made the first part of my journey more pleasant, thank you. And to those of you who share their kindness with others, thank you, too. You make a difference, and you are appreciated.
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