Spiritual
This week: Personal Space V/s. Community Concern Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI Library Class! More Newsletters By This Editor
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"No man is an island," the song says.
But today, are all of us slowly becoming islands,
isolating ourselves from each other
in the name of personal space? |
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Dear Reader,
Friend #1: One of my friends had a baby girl last December. She lives with her husband in the same city as I do, whereas her parents and extended family live in another city about six hundred miles away. The couple does not believe in sharing photos online. While her parents visited and got to know the new addition to their family, her grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins were eager to meet the infant. So, she decided to visit them, taking the baby on her first inter-state journey.
I emailed my friend: "Must be nice for you to have eager babysitters."
The response: "The parents babysit. Everyone else is just curious."
Friend #2: Flashback to eighteen years ago, another friend with a baby girl. My Mom and I had gone to visit. No sooner had we entered the apartment and closed the door behind us than the doorbell rang again and the new mother hurried forward to answer it. "Oh, thanks, thanks," we heard her say, as we settled down in the living room. She popped her head in. "Give me a minute, I have to put this in the kitchen."
She returned and sat, grinning. "That was my neighbour," she informed us. "She says that this particular porridge, made of millet, is good for babies of this age. So she has made some for my baby."
Now, I'm not sure what triggered Friend #1's response of 'everyone else is just curious', but in my head I can't help comparing the two scenes. Surely Friend #2's neighbour must've started out with some 'curiosity' as well -- what are you feeding the kid? and so on --to come to a point where she made the millet porridge and brought it over? So -- by dismissing her family's questions as 'curiosity' and, likely, politely keeping them at arm's length in the name of personal space, is Friend #1 losing out on things that could make life easier / better for her and for her daughter?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying personal space isn't important. Of course it is. But have we taken ti to an extreme? Are we shutting out others because we feel they're invading our privacy -- and has our definition of 'invading' grown to encompass even simple, everyday human interaction?
We move to another, sadder scenario.
I conduct events at a bookshop-cafe, and I hang out there a lot. People who conduct and attend events there have bonded to a community. We're fond of each other, we call ourselves a family.
In February, a young man who freelanced there as a photographer took his own life.
All of us were aghast.
The guy was a brilliant photographer. We knew that, we thought he was okay. None of us had realised how badly not-okay he actually was. Personally, I wouldn't say I was 'close' to him, but I had had a couple of interactions -- including one when I'd carried a packet of crayons and a sketch book to the cafe, and he and I had spent an hour scribbling with crayon on adjacent pages of the book. At that time, he had told me he was having trouble falling asleep at night, and I remember telling him some techniques that had worked for me when I had post-traumatic-stress-disorder after multiple eye surgeries. Not even then had I realised what the future held.
Another friend told me that she had actually sensed something not right with this guy, but hesitated to ask because she didn't want to look like she was interfering.
There we go again. She didn't want to intrude on his personal space. Now, in hindsight, she should've, right? Might've saved him, we'll never know now.
It's a fine line. It's a delicate balance. But as human beings, we have to try and find the balance again. The balance between interfering and being concerned. The balance between being nosy and being supportive. The balance between being an island and being a sidewalk ... call it what you will, I think we've got to find the balance. And I've decided for myself at least, that I'm going to poke my nose in to my friends' businesses if I feel there's something at stake that can't afford to be lost -- even if it costs me the friendship.
Thanks for listening!
- Sonali
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Thank you for the responses to: "The Love of Lord Krishna"
mykel Dear Sonali,
Thank you so much for this article! I am a Buddhist, but I also studied Hinduism, so Lord Krishna is an exalted friend. I appreciate hearing about the spiritual heritage, lives, and problems of non-Abrahamic believers. Again, thanks so much for sharing...Best Wishes, Michael
The Dark Faery Great newsletter. Love the topic. I'm not Hindu, but I love the myths that surround the different Gods and Goddesses. Gypsy Ann
Sally Thank you for this wonderful newsletter, Sonali. I admit I don't know very much about Hinduism, and this newsletter is both informative and fascinating. I loved the stories of Krishna. He sounds a very 'real' God. It is wonderful that Krishna taught that love is unconditional. This is a beautiful message to the people.
Thank you again to you and your relatives and friends - you are all very wise!
Prosperous Snow celebrating Thank you for sharing this information about His Holiness Krishna. I believe that the foundations of all religions come from the Unknowable Creator, and that the only way we, human beings, can know the Almighty is through his Manifestations or Avatars. All reveal the divine attribute or virtues to humanity. I enjoyed reading this newsletter because it shared information from ordinary people who believe in His Holiness Krishna. Keep sharing because it is important to let people know about any and all the the Divine Manifestations (Mirrors of the Attributes of God).
W.D. Baker I think I would compare these guys maybe close or alike Saints In the Catholic religion
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