This week: The Fine Art of Using Humour Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER  
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It has helped me, and I guess it has helped others, too.
The comic relief in a tense situation. |
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Dear Reader,
I've had detachment of the retina, with complications, in both eyes, and have had to adjust to major changes in my vision.
For example, my depth and distance perception have changed drastically after multiple eye surgeries, and I've had to compensate for that while putting breakable crockery on the table, or hanging the laundry to dry.
Once, I was having coffee at a restaurant with a friend, and missed the saucer while placing the (fortunately, unbreakable) coffee cup back after taking a sip. The cup wobbled and some coffee spilled out on to the table. I was distressed, "What did I do? I made a mess."
My friend quickly gathered his tissue and mine and wiped the spilled coffee before it could spread. When he had it mostly under control, he turned to me. "Shall I finish cleaning this, or are you planning to spill some more? Can clean both batches together."
I laughed.
In an instant, he had turned my distress to comedy.
This sounds like a small incident, but it was huge for me at that point. It not only helped calm me for the time being, but also put my whole eyesight-problem in perspective. Had he gotten all solicitous, the feeling would have been that of my having a menacing problem which was beyond control. By subtly pretending that I'd done it deliberately, and by making the whole situation lighter, he wiped up the problem along with the spilled coffee, and discarded it.
It's similar with my Dad, who has helped me through those multiple surgeries.
"Dad, one more surgery."
"Yup."
"What will happen?"
"They'll bring this wheelchair, put you in a gown, and wheel you somewhere, and I'll call the hospital cafeteria and order my breakfast. You think they'll have made a fresh batch of muffins? Their muffins are really good when they're fresh."
"Muffins? You're thinking about muffins?"
"What else is there?"
That's my Dad. Food is his priority, and it doesn't change with the situation! Ah! Of course he's worried about my surgery. But he makes it bearable by pretending that muffins are the most important thing then.
And -- wait for it -- a Harry Potter reference.
Remember when the Chamber of Secrets is opened and people think Harry is doing it? Fred and George make a big deal of Harry being an 'evil wizard' ...
Fred and George found it very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors shouting, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin. Seriously evil wizard coming through."
Percy was deeply disapproving of this behaviour. "It is not a laughing matter," he said coldly.
"Oh, get out of the way, Percy," said Fred. "Harry's in a hurry."
"Yeah, he's nipping off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant," said George, chortling.
It made Harry feel better that Fred and George, at least, thought the idea of him being Slytherin's heir was completely ludicrous.
So -- a bit of humour, used well, helps cope with a crisis. And while I fervently hope nobody has to deal with a crisis, I also hope that if you do, you find a way to lighten the mood.
Thanks for listening!
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Thank you for the responses to "Am I Loved?"
shepherd46
This is a lovely article; an article that shows a different side and expression of love. I have never thought of love this way and I am so happy that I have read it. It opens new doors of interpreting love and that make a "huge" difference to me. Thanks so much for writing this... Morningstar
writerdm36 
Good message.
Quick-Quill 
Un-Loved. You sure made your point. A nanny could have loved you and shown you love. Instead she showed you (and parents) how good she was at her job. Her life depended on it. Had you received "Love" she would have had you "help" her with the chores knowing someday she'd be gone. She would have shown you "love" by correcting your attitude toward the help. Treating others as you would yourself. She did her job. She was good at her job. It's understandable how you feel as you do. Love comes with both instruction and correction.
Advent Pumpkin 
I know what you mean. It's in the communication. As children and teens, we feel unloved no matter how hard our families think they are proving their love. We want little simple things like words or time, but they're working two jobs to put food on the table and gifts under the Christmas tree. For them, that was love. We just failed to communicate both ways.
You nailed it.
Sum1's Home! 
Excellent newsletter! This should be read by almost everyone. Not because of the 'unloved' part, but the part where you had to learn to fend for yourself. I think too many people today feel things should 'just appear' for them, as you mentioned early on in the newsletter. Everything you have in life needs to be earned to truly appreciate it. Thank you for sharing this.
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Spiritual: April 24, 2019 Issue [#9510]
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