This week: What does it mean? Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI Library Class!  
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| Thinking of a conversation my friend's mother had with her friends ... and why she sneaked in some little untruths about me. |
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Dear Reader,
Eight years ago, I lost a friend to cancer. I still visit her parents sometimes, and a small incident that occurred on one of my visits set me thinking. To give you a bit of background - my friend's Dad is educated, he's a lawyer. But her Mom comes from a smaller hometown, and has only had some primary schooling, in her mother tongue - Tamil. She taught herself English after marriage. The two of them gave their daughter a basic education, then a higher one. My friend was a software engineer by profession, and an accomplished writer and photographer.
When I visit, I speak to her parents in a mix of Hindi and English.
Well, on one of my visits, two of the mother's friends happened to drop in on their way home from work. They chatted animatedly in Tamil, which I don't understand. So I was sitting and smiling at them, and sometimes, they gave me the context of what they were speaking about, and I nodded and threw in a remark (in English) if I had one to make.
Now, there are words in Indian languages which overlap, so when the friends asked the mother which languages I spoke, I understood that she was telling them that I spoke 'only English'. This isn't true, I speak English, Hindi (which she has heard on several occasions), my mother tongue, Kutchi (which she has heard me speak with my Dad) and Marathi and Gujarati besides. I just don't happen to understand their mother tongue, Tamil. The friends specifically asked 'doesn't she speak her own mother tongue?' The mother replied in the negative, insisting that I spoke only English.
Since it wasn't important to me what those ladies thought (or didn't think) of me, I didn't bother to correct this notion. However, it did get me pondering. Why had the mother told this small falsehood? We've conversed in Hindi, she and I, and she has heard me speak Kutchi with my Dad. Why the, would she say that I spoke only English?
Then it dawned on me. It was her need to have someone in her life (via her daughter) who is so modern, that she doesn't need to know any Indian languages, and that her own mastery of English is such that she can converse with such a person and have such a person visit. It wasn't about whether I knew other languages or not, it was about what progressive friends her daughter had made, and how advanced she was to keep up with them.
It was an interesting revelation. "Sonali speaks only English" isn't about Sonali, or about what she speaks, at all. It's about her friend's mother, and how accomplished she is!
I wonder how often this happens in life -- especially between a parent and child. The subject of the sentence isn't actually whom the sentence is about at all, it's about the speaker.
Just a fun way of thinking about dialogue!
Thanks for listening,
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Thank you for the responses to "Happy Birthday, Harry Potter!"
eyestar~*  Wow! What a wonderful sharing.  It is interesting how much wisdom can come from fiction. Thanks for your insights.
Quick-Quill  JK certainly filled her books with lots of angst, conflict and resolutions we all face. That's what a good book should do, but subtly.
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For Authors: August 28, 2019 Issue [#9724]
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