Rueya in Wonderland

Dear Diary,

Could this backwater planet BE anymore irritating?

"Come to scenic DanHeria" they said!

"See the gardens of Laota" they said!!

"Walk the streets of Karim Roh" they said!!!

Well what they said was all good and fine; it's what they didn't say which is causing me problems. The minor details they missed out of the 'interplanetary brochure', were that they were currently in the middle of a civil war, and that the entire western landmass was now glowing that oh-so-wonderful shade of green which is only in vogue after a nuclear strike!

Gods of old this place is the pits. I thought that this would be the same beautiful planet of angels I had visited as a child, so in my eternal 'wisdom' I chose to fill what I thought would be a vocation with great following. Yes, I am no longer Rueya, Goddess of Flames, I am Rueya, Goddess of the Sheets (or rather what goes on between them!). Personally I never get tired of doling out smut to the masses, but nowadays they are so easy to please! War is very bad for breeding as people lower their standards to distract from their own misery.

Oh to be at home in Rue, to rejoin this avatar to my central core and to forget this planet every existed. Then again it could be worse, I met their Deity of Gay Love the other day. Now theres a sight for sore eyes, as in thats what he'll give you. Lurid colours and prancing everywhere! I'm sorry but hes the type of queen that give the rest of them a bad name! That said, my homicidal brother can't be much better for their reputation. How many people has he killed now? And of his own following!

Gah! Gods! So complex and so, touchy! It took me all of five minutes to annoy the Deity of Fire. Personally I see the particular shade of crimson his face became before his head exploded, to be a mark of distinction of my powers of annoyance. The other gods however were not amused, and I've been demoted before I could even get my foot properly through the eternal door. Yes, I, the Goddess of Lust, am now the 'Auntie Edna' figure. You know the type, wheeled out from wherever they've been stowed and ball gagged, on the major public holidays. The one who gets invited to weddings because they're a part of the family, and for no other reason. She allways has such wonderful stories to tell about mum and dad!

And believe me, I've stories all right! So long as you don't mind your bedtime tale with a bit of sauce...

- Rueya