addiction, quest for peace |
I see a room, room, dark and cold, dim with light. Light radiates from the computer screen and illuminates his face. Face contorted with adrenaline and grim concentration. Concentration on the pixel images. Images that have blown away all thoughts of caution to the wind, for his addictive desire must be fulfilled. Fulfillment is the only thought on his mind, as his hands dance across the keyboard, moving the mouse and clicking. Clicking, opening, establishing fail-safe screens to prevent discovery, clicking, canceling unnecessary pop-ups, only the elusive site to fulfill his desire. Desire grew from habit and habit grew from curiosity. Curiosity guided his early search, Alas, now addiction guides his brain. Brain besieged by desire and guilt, haunting images plague his mind, inner conflicts rage between right and wrong. Wrong, he knows are his actions but he saves remorse for later. Later, he would grieve for his lack of will, now he is totally mesmerized and gone. Gone will be all evidence by the time, shut-down scripts run. Run tumultuously will his thoughts as he leaves for his bed. Bed, shall he lie praying for Forgiveness and strength. Strength for the next time, temptation beckons and calls. Calls, he shall heed not, If he works at taming his desire and regaining his lost peace. Peace that can be found If he faces up to his addiction. Addicted is the boy I see, I see me. |