Come to Mama, Baby

Contest prompt: The biggest little thing on the Internet


“Hey, over here!”
“No, over here, big boy!”
“Get over here, Mousey, and give me a kiss!”
“Come on over here to Mama, Honey. I’ll be real good to you!”
“Click me! Click me!”

“Knock it off! I’ve had it up to here with all of you,” she said, throwing her hand to the top of her forehead to indicate her level of frustration. She looked like a private saluting a superior officer and that started them all giggling. “I told you girls to leave him alone. He’s mine. M-I-N-E. I’m the Biggest Little Thing on the Internet and he’s the one I want. You can have one of the others.”

“But we don’t want the others,” they whined. “Ever since you won that stupid contest you think you can tell us what to do. And you think Mouse is yours alone. Well, he isn’t.”

They’re fighting over me again, Mouse thought, reveling in it. His head swelled so big he filled the entire computer screen. Their jealousy was out of control and he loved it. Even though the others stroked his ego, each carving her own special place in his heart, Big, as he affectionately called her – well, she was the best. They belonged together, he and Big. Not that he would ever tell her that. He liked to keep her guessing. They were the two who were the most popular, the darlings of the ‘net and, oh, what beautiful things they accomplished when they finally got together. With just one click they granted all wishes.

But everything wasn’t perfect for Mouse. There were two other guys on the Internet that competed with him for Big’s attention. One was Tab Key and the other was Enter Key. Tab and Enter were brothers and they were as close as Siamese twins. They were always together. Tab could put his move on the ladies, but couldn’t do anything when he finally got them. And Enter could do the job but couldn’t make the moves without Tab. They didn’t have the mobility Mouse had and their jealousy had almost turned to hatred. Mouse could hover anywhere he wanted to, teasing and cajoling the girls and keeping them in suspense. They never knew where Mouse would finally land and click. And when he did, it was just the two of them with no brother hanging around. It was a huge part of his charm and his excitement and he used it whenever he could to make Big jealous.

Ah, Big. She was something. She was powerful yet full of fun and loved everything on the Internet. She was the most popular of all, at least prior to the contest. But since she won Biggest Little Thing on the Internet there was nothing but animosity between her and her one-time friends. Web page harmony was shattered.

“Okay, everyone, listen up,” said ViewPreviousPage. Here come a couple of surfers and it’s our job to obey their commands. So, come on girls, put your differences aside and do your jobs.”

“Listen to who's talking,” said AddToShoppingCart. She was really upset about the contest that Big won. She thought she was the most important on the site. “It’s hard to put differences aside when we all feel we should have been the winner. Without me,” she railed, “you wouldn’t be able to put anything in your cart. Who can shop on the Internet if they don’t have a shopping cart?” She believed deep down in her heart that if she had won the contest, Mouse would love her the best.

“Oh, here we go again,” said ViewCart. “Everyone knows I should have won. What good is a shopping cart full of items if you can’t see them.” She was tired of the Key brothers, so tired of Tab doing his dance on her and then calling in Enter to finish the job. The only time she was happy was when Mouse hovered over her and then clicked. She craved the monogamous relationship and hated the duality of Tab and Enter.

Every once in a while, when they thought Mouse wasn’t looking, the brothers would target Big. Tab would pounce and Enter would click, setting Mouse’s jealous nature on fire. One day, right in front of his eyes, they blatantly went after her and she never even blinked an eye. No fight. No nothing. Not even a struggle. He was shocked.

“That’s it,” he said. “If you can fool around, so can I.” He was in a jealous rage as he ranted and raved, skimming every web page he opened. He had the other girls in ecstasy. They were lining up, and pushing and shoving each other to get their time with him. “I just love it when he gets jealous,” said AddToWishList.

“I do too,” said AddToWeddingRegistry. “It’s the only time I can get one on one with him without Ms. Big taking it out on me later.”

“I keep telling him to visit me more often,” said SellYoursHere. “Visit me once, Baby, and you’ll have a lot of Back buttons to push to return to her.” She loved the privacy of being clicked by Mouse. Enter wasn’t really a bad key, she just didn’t like his brother always lurking about. If she could get rid of Tab, she would take Enter a lot more seriously.

“Oh, oh,” said Mouse, when his sanity returned and he took stock of his surroundings. “Big, what have I done? Where am I? And why am I so tired?”

“You went off in a jealous rage,” she said, tapping her foot with her arms crossed over her chest. “You clicked all the girl buttons in sight. You made everyone happy but me. You’ve added things to shopping carts, and bridal registries. You’ve added to Wish Lists and you’ve filled out shipping addresses. You’ve done it all except the big one. And now you’ve come back to me. You always come back to me, Mouse, because I’m the only one who can finish what you start. So, Baby, come on. Click my button. It does it all. It’s why the ‘net is such a success today.”

Mouse hovered over her, out of control. He couldn’t help himself. He was being propelled by a higher power, a surfer who had found everything she was looking for. The shopper read Big’s button title and clicked. BUY NOW flashed in Mouse’s brain as the two of them were joined together. Immediately, instructions for delivery, items ordered, credit card information and an invoice were sent into cyberspace. And, once again, Mouse and Big had gotten together and made wishes come true. Another happy customer had just clicked the button that was the Biggest little thing on the Internet.