Minor Epiphany - Part I

THIS PLAY IS A WORK IN PROGRESS!!

DOES THIS SITUATION SEEM REAL?
DOES THE DIALOGUE WORK?
DO THE CHARACTERS RESONATE?
DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE MAIN CHARACTERS' PREDICAMENT?
DO YOU WANT TO READ THROUGH TO A SOLUTION?

ANY COMMENTS/INPUT IS WELCOMED AND APPRECIATED!!

(Oh yeah, I'll surely give GP's for reviews!)

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MINOR EPIPHANY

By
Kirk G. Forster

August 25, 2005


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The Players:

Ryan Pankowski – He is tall and lanky, with a swimmers body left over from high school. His dark hair is dirty and stringy, his demeanor moody and brusque. The dark circles under his eyes indicate he doesn’t sleep much, except when passed out. Despite the obvious shortcomings, he is strikingly handsome with bright blue intelligent eyes and chiseled features.

Janey Williamson - She is the kind of girl that would be stunningly beautiful if she really cared how she looked. She’s blonde svelte, curvy, sensuous, and somehow dangerous. Her striking green eyes reveal an underlying hope that flies in the face of her current hell. She seems to mesmerize the men around her; it causes her a great deal of trouble.

Daniel Pankowski – Ryan’s dead 14 year old brother.

Susan Pankowski - Ryan’s Mother, in her mid-forties.


LIGHTS UP

Sunlight wanly streams through closed window slats of a small dingy efficiency apartment. We see that this is a low rent joint as there are patches of wall missing here and there. Bottles of beer and booze litter the place. Clothes lie where they were thrown. We see the outline of a body under a worn comforter atop a single mattress. The decayed nature of the environment becomes apparent. The wood slats of the floor are aged and uneven. The bathroom is little more than a closet with a door. Even the tiny sink is outside the bathroom, with an even smaller rusted mirror over it. There is a food heater on the counter next to a sink overflowing with dirty dishes, and a Walmart mini-fridge with the door wide open and nothing in it but a pouch of Capri Sun. Finally, a sunken overstuffed chair sits next to the bed, where a partially obscured figure sits patiently. We see the figures’ blue jean pants and bright red Converse shoes but nothing else for the moment.

There is a slight dimming of the lights for a second.

DANIEL:
Ryan.

Ryan grunts and rolls over, barely acknowledging the voice.

DANIEL:
(chiding, urgent)
Ryan, time to get up, buddy.

Ryan grabs a pillow, pressing it over his head.

DANIEL:
(stands up, still in darkness)
Ryan! Get up, damn it! You’re gonna be late again!

This registers, and he croaks.

RYAN:
I have to work?

It takes a second.

RYAN:
Agh. I have to work.

Ryan throws his feet over the side of the mattress to the floor, about an 8-inch drop. He drags himself upright, sitting lotus-like on the edge of the worn bedding.

RYAN:
(whispering)
Ouch.

DANIEL:
(sitting back down)
Ouch is right. You had one helluva night last night, brother. You’ve really done it this time.

RYAN:
(not looking, exasperation in his voice)
What? Did what this time?

Ryan takes a deep breath and exhales with some pain.

DANIEL:
You don’t remember?

Ryan hauls himself off the bedding. He stumbles over to the fridge and stares into the stark white interior, mesmerized by the little bulb naked at the back.

RYAN:
Obviously not, fool.

He shakes his head to snap the spell, and almost falls into the door, his hand barely stopping his embarrassing descent to the floor.

DANIEL:
Fool. Now, that’s funny, coming from you.

RYAN:
Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

He grabs the Capri Sun, tentatively sniffs at the liquid, and when satisfied it won’t poison his already sensitive insides, he empties the small pouch in one long pull, shaking a little as the liquid hits his sour belly.

RYAN:
Are you gonna speak up, Danny, or do we play twenty questions for the millionth time?

He tosses the pouch back into the fridge without thinking twice, and shuffles towards the sink.

DANIEL:
Mom. You. Argument. Ring a bell?

Ryan stoops to rifle through a heaping clothes hamper next to the sink, sniffing a dirty towel, then slinging it over his shoulder.

RYAN:
No. It doesn’t. I don’t remember much after the first six-pack. What did the bitch want?

He turns on the hot water in the tiny sink.

DANIEL:
She came to try to reconcile, if you can believe that. After all these years…

The water in the sink starts to steam up the small mirror just above it.

RYAN:
Reconcile? Really? That’s funny. She wanted to make all nice, and I don’t even remember her being here.

Ryan has stopped up the sink and now swirls a disposable razor with lightly rusted tines in the hot water.

DANIEL:
You really don’t remember, do you?

RYAN:
No, I don’t! I blacked out, okay? Why is this a shock to you? Not as if it’s the first time!

DANIEL:
No, But it is the first time you’ve hit her, Ryan.

Ryan stops swirling the razor and goes still.

RYAN:
What? Hit her?

DANIEL:
That’s right. Right in the kisser. Smacko to the whacko.

RYAN:
I didn’t mean to…I don’t remember…

Daniel finally steps into the light. He slips up behind Ryan.

DANIEL:
I know you hate mom, but enough to hit her? Wouldn’t have thought it of ya, bro. We were hurt by mom, quite a few times, especially as kids, and well, you are kind of a bastard now. But you ain’t never hit a chick before last night.

Ryan rubs his face, shakes his head, and lets out a small, choked laugh. He resumes swirling the razor, trying to ignore Daniel.

DANIEL:
This goes deeper than just Mom, too.Whether you want to admit it or not, you’ve been taking your shit out on every woman you’ve known since high school.

RYAN:
What are you talking about? What the hell does Mom have to do with any of the other women in my life? That’s just crap!

DANIEL:
Really?

Ryan is working a huge dollop of shaving cream vigorously into his face.

RYAN:
Mom is a piece of work, but I don’t see…

DANIEL:
Whatever, man! Mom only smacked the crap out of us whenever she felt like it! She embarrassed you in public at every turn, to my never-ending embarrassment; she harangued and controlled every move we made! She forced you to wear diapers for the first five years of your life, for fuck’s sake! You tryin’ to say that ain’t nothin’?

Ryan spins and shakes the razor at Daniel.

RYAN:
Of COURSE it’s something! I hate MOM, not all women of the world!

DANIEL:
No? Let’s look at your history, shall we?

Ryan turns back to the sink and begins quickly shaving, not wanting to hear what Daniel has to say on the subject.

DANIEL:
What about Emily?

RYAN:
I didn’t hit her!

DANIEL:
Already said you ain’t hit until last night. But you did treat her like crap. Left her on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere on prom night, I believe.

RYAN:
She flirted with some other dude. It pissed me off.

DANIEL:
Yeah.

RYAN:
What about Susan? I wasn’t so bad with her!

DANIEL:
(laughing)
Yeah, so good she finally swore off men.

RYAN:
(weakly)
She was bisexual.

DANIEL:
Damn it, Ryan. This is serious. The relationship with Mom is all but dead, but this shit inside you is gonna kill every deal with a woman you’re ever gonna have!

Ryan throws the razor into the sink, spins and screams at Daniel.

RYAN:
That’s not true! What do you know anyway? You’re just a kid! You haven’t even had a relationship with a woman.

DANIEL:
It just goes on and on and on. Woman after woman; relationship after relationship! When does it end? YOU HIT MOM!

RYAN:
No…I…I…didn’t mean it.

DANIEL:
I know exactly what you meant, bro. I know you. You can’t bullshit me.

Ryan is silent, stunned. Daniel returns to his seat. The morning light is bright enough to see him.

DANIEL:
You wanna know the rest of the story? It’s good man! Like a dime store novella! You should of seen her face, man! It was priceless. You knocked her back into the wall. She just stood there, blood tricklin’ from her lip, a sad look in her eyes. Then, and this is something you need to heed. She said, “I deserved that.”

RYAN:
What?

DANIEL:
Yeah, if you can believe! ‘I deserved that.’! Calm as you please, like she’d been waiting for it a decade.

Daniel chuckles softly as Ryan tries to process this.

DANIEL:
You told her to get the fuck out. As she was leavin’ she told us, ‘I’m sorry, son. I’ve changed. Maybe you will see that someday. I love you and hope you can forgive me…someday.’ You threw a bottle at her! It was beautiful! Bee-yoo-ti-ful!

Ryan is staring into the mirror, standing helplessly on the warped floor.

DANIEL:
What do you think she meant by that?

RYAN:
How the hell am I supposed to know?

DANIEL:
You think maybe she got religion? Or one o’ them 12-step programs?

RYAN:
No, Can’t be. Not possible.

DANIEL:
Hell, anything’s possible, man! It’s all about change. Change or rot, bro. What’s that Morgan Freeman say in that “Longshank Redemption?”

RYAN:
Shawshank Redemption.

DANIEL:
Yeah, that. What’s he say?

RYAN:
(quietly)
Get busy living or get busy dying.

Daniel is once again right behind Ryan, whispering in his ear.

DANIEL:
Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’. That’s right. Your life is goin’ to shit, Ryan. Do something.

Ryan stares into the condensation glazing the aged surface of the mirror. He sees his face, the real face of Ryan, for the first time in years. It scares the hell out of him. He is stunned.

RYAN:
What am I supposed to do?

There is only silence until suddenly a groan escapes the bed. It is high and lilting, with a singsong angelic quality.

JANEY:
Who’re you talking to, baby?

DANIEL:
Hey, now.

Ryan spins around, shocked that he’s forgotten this woman in his bed, an obvious leftover from last night’s festivities.

RYAN:
Um, no one. Myself. I was talking to myself.

JANEY:
You’re weird. I do that too, you know.

Janey slinks over to the side of the bed, clad barely in panties and a mini t-shirt.

JANEY:
(voice dripping with seduction)
Weird, maybe, but you’re sure one helluva lover.

RYAN:
Yeah, you, too. Umm, I have to go to work. Gotta leave in about 15 minutes.

JANEY:
That’s cool. I’ve got nowhere to go. Mind if I hang?

Daniel is hovering over Janey, leering.

DANIEL:
Did I forget to mention the chick you brought home late last night? She’s pretty damned hot. Mind if I have a slice? I am still a virgin, ya know…

RYAN:
NO!

JANEY:
But, but, I told you last night I have nowhere to go!

RYAN:
What?

DANIEL:
This is rich!

JANEY:
You said it was cool! You told me I could crash for a while, until I could get back on my feet!

RYAN:
Why would I say something like that?

DANIEL:
Told ya you had one hell of a night.

JANEY:
Because of what happened to me when I got here!

RYAN:
Here?

JANEY:
In town!

RYAN:
I don’t remember…

Janey puts on her innocent persona.

JANEY:
Look, I promise I won’t cause any problems. I’ll even clean the place up for you. Just let me stay a couple of days, we’ll have lots of fun.

DANIEL:
Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha’ gonna do?

RYAN:
Give me a second to think, all right?

DANIEL:
Hmm, another chick in your life. What are you gonna do, bro?

RYAN:
I said let me think!

JANEY:
I didn’t say a word.

DANIEL:
You’ve got two choices, both of them rough. Kick her out, stay the rat bastard you’ve always been…or let her stay and deal with it.

JANEY:
I really don’t want to go back out on the streets.

RYAN:
Fuck. I don’t know. No. I can’t do it. No one but me has been here for more than a night!

He shoots a look at Daniel.

DANIEL:
Change, brother. It’s what you gotta do. Change or rot.

JANEY:
Let me stay, Ryan. Please. I swear I won’t be a problem.

RYAN:
No! I…I…just can’t do it!

JANEY:
But…

After a long pause…

JANEY:
It’s all right. I understand. A little bit much all of a sudden, huh?

Janey goes to him, hugs and kisses him.

JANEY:
Thanks for letting me stay the night. I’ll be out in a minute.

Ryan is incredulous. He has kicked this woman out on the streets and she’s being nice!

RYAN:
What…are you going to do? Where are you going to go?

JANEY:
Don’t you worry about that. I can take care of myself, all right?

Ryan is silent, agonizing. Janey starts to gather her meager belongings, which consist of little more than her purse and a small bag of clothes.

JANEY:
Left most of my stuff behind when I ran out on…when I left where I was. The bastard.

CHAUNCY:
Tsk, tsk. Poor baby, nowhere to go and not a pot to piss in.

Ryan slumps down in the chair, his head in his hands.

As Janey heads towards the door…

RYAN:
All right! All right. Just a couple of days. FUCK!

JANEY:
Really? You mean it?

RYAN:
Yeah, I mean it. I’d hate myself more than I already do if I let you out that door. But ONLY for a couple of days, ok?

JANEY:
YAY! Oh, I have a little money. I’ll get some groceries, ‘cause you really need them, okay? Then I’ll clean up…oh, and how do you feel about someone doing your laundry?

DANIEL:
Here we go!

RYAN:
Yeah yeah yeah, sure. That’d be great. Let me finish getting ready for work. I’m already late.

Ryan goes back to the sink to finish shaving while Janey strolls around the efficiency, taking it all in, happy as a clam. She spies a collection of books in a ramshackle three-tier bookcase and makes a beeline for them, checking out the spines.

JANEY:
You like to read?

RYAN:
Hmm?

JANEY:
You read? Me too. I love books. Love to lose myself in the stories. Kinda helps dealing with…other stuff, you know?

Finished with the cursory shave, Ryan wipes his face with the dirty towel, then wipes his underarms and tosses the towel back on the heap.

RYAN:
What’s your name?

JANEY:
You serious?

RYAN:
I’m sorry. I’ve got a lousy memory for names.

DANIEL:
Yeah, he usually just pops ‘em and shoves ‘em out the door.

Janey looks hurt, as if the insult of being fucked and forgotten would once again rend her heart in two. She thinks twice about complaining.

JANEY:
Janey. Janey Williamson. From Chicago. Just got into town a few nights ago. Slept out on the streets…until I met you, that is.

RYAN:
Let me guess: gonna be a famous actress, right?

DANIEL:
Think she’ll do porn?

JANEY:
The correct term is acTOR. It applies to both sexes. And I don’t know what I’m going to do. I just had to get out of where I was.

RYAN:
I see. Why LA, then?

Janey goes back to looking at the books, finally pulling out a folder with paper bursting the seams. Ryan doesn’t notice she has it.

JANEY:
Some guy I was seeing was a grip on a film that had just wrapped in Chicago, so I came with him. The bastard tried to rape me the first night we were in town, so I kicked him in the balls and ran out. That’s where I left most of my stuff. He was the only one I knew in LA, until last night. What’s this?

Ryan sees what she has in her hands and is over at the bookcase in a flash, snatching the folder from her.

RYAN:
You in the habit of rifling through a man’s personal items? If so, you can get the hell out of here right now!

JANEY:
I’m sorry! I, I just saw it there and was curious. I didn’t mean anything!

RYAN:
Rule #1, you don’t touch a damn thing that isn’t yours, all right?

JANEY:
Okay, okay. I promise.

DANIEL:
Hmm, a sneak, I dunno, my man.

RYAN:
And you, be quiet!

Janey spins around, furious.

JANEY:
What? You can tell me to stay out of your precious private shit, you can even kick my ass out of here. But you will not boss me around and tell me what to do, you got it? I don’t take that from anybody!

Ryan is taken aback by the ferocity of the attack, and returns to dressing for work.

RYAN:
Yeah, sure, right. Sorry.

Ryan shoots an angry look in the Daniel’s direction. Daniel snickers. There is a beat of silence.

JANEY:
That was writing in that folder. Was it yours?

RYAN:
I don’t want to talk about it.

He is almost finished dressing.

DANIEL:
He doesn’t wanna talk about it.

JANEY:
God, I wish I could write. I think that’s the greatest gift ever. To be able to make up stories, tell them, and bring so many people happiness.

RYAN:
(laughing)
Who would have picked you for a dreamer?

JANEY:
What do you think makes a dreamer? Who do you think are the dreamers? It’s the people that have the worst things happen to them, and they still keep plowing through until they find their dreams, you know? The assholes are the ones that tell us all the lies and then give up themselves.

RYAN:
I’d never thought of it that way.
(sarcastic)
But if that were true, I’d be the most romantic guy in history!

Janey is silent as Ryan puts on his coat to leave.

JANEY:
Maybe you’re one of the ones that gave up.

This stops Ryan in his tracks. He is at the door ready to leave. Janey is on the bed, a sweet smile on her face.

RYAN:
You might be right. If you’re still here when I get back from work, we’ll talk more about that.

JANEY:
When?

RYAN:
When what?

JANEY:
When will you be back?

RYAN:
Oh. Umm, about 7 or so.

JANEY:
Cool.

RYAN:
Cool.

DANIEL:
Cool.

LIGHTS DOWN.

LIGHTS UP - SAME ROOM - LATE AFTERNOON.

Janey has been a busy bee. The place is much cleaner. She is dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a silk top. There are a couple of small bags of groceries on the counter, which she is loading into the fridge. A small radio is playing “The Politics of Dancing” by REFLEX. Janey is dancing around while attending to the groceries.

JANEY:
“…the politics of dancing. The politics of ooooh-feelin-good. The politics of movin’, uh-huh…

A knock at the door.

JANEY:
(to herself, laughing)
I’ll get it!

Janey goes to the door. Waiting on the other side is a woman in her mid-forties. She is fairly well dressed in a sundress and low pumps. Her hair is a deep auburn and swept back from her face, revealing a woman that has seen some hard times. The lines around her eyes reveal a sadness won by long years of pain and loss. She has a fat lip.

Janey opens the door…

JANEY:
Hello.

SUSAN:
(nervously)
Oh, hello. I’m sorry. I’m looking for Ryan Pankowski. Is...is he here?

JANEY:
No, but he should be back any time now.

SUSAN:
Oh. Damn.

Beat.

JANEY:
Can…can I take a message, or do you want to wait?

SUSAN:
I was hoping to talk to him directly. I was hoping to...after last night...maybe straighten…oh, I don’t know what I was hoping!

JANEY:
Okay.

There is a uncomfortable silence that sucks the life out of the room. Susan turns to go, but suddenly turns around, looks Janey in the eye and blurts…

SUSAN:
I’m his mother.

JANEY:
His mom? No way! What are you doing standing out there? Come in, come on in! I’m Janey, Ryan’s…ah…friend. Umm, I’m putting some groceries away right now, but come on in.

SUSAN:
I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.

JANEY:
What? Nonsense! He’ll be here in a couple of minutes, and probably glad to see you!

SUSAN:
Hah. No, I can assure you, that he will not be.

Janey takes a second to assess Susan, sees the fat lip and the nervousness, and decides to don her nurturer persona.

JANEY:
What are you talking about? Who’s not happy to see their mom? I know I’d be ecstatic to see mine, if she was around anymore, but she died when I was a little girl, so she’s not, but I’d sure be happy to see her if she were… (she trails off uncomfortably)

SUSAN:
(almost to herself)
Maybe if I had died when Ryan was young, he’d be better...

Susan suddenly breaks down, releasing a sobbing soul-wrenching cry. Janey goes to her tentatively.

JANEY:
Oh, my god. Are you okay? It’s all right.

SUSAN:
(trying to stop the tears)
I’m so…so sorry. I…I…I’m not sure what I’m doing here! Especially after last night. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to see me. I’m such an idiot. I’m going to go.

JANEY:
Oh, no you’re not! You come in here and sit right here.

Janey guides Susan to the chair and goes to get some tissue and a glass of water.

SUSAN:
You’re sweet. How do you know Ryan?

JANEY:
We met on the street.

Susan looks surprised.

JANEY:
No really. I had a problem with a guy and Ryan was cool enough to give me a place to crash for a little while. He’s pretty great, you know.

SUSAN:
No, I don’t know. That’s the problem.

Ryan comes walking through the front door. He’s got an unusual smile on his face, as if his muscles aren’t accustomed to wearing it. He stops cold when he sees Susan in the chair. All three look at each other in a frozen moment.

RYAN:
What the hell are you doing here?

DANIEL:
The bitch is back.

Susan is embarrassed, shocked and scared. Janey immediately decides to try to diffuse the situation and runs to Ryan, wraps her arms around him, and plants a big kiss on him.

Ryan is taken aback by the kiss.

JANEY:
Look who’s here!

He gathers himself once again, pushes Janey away slowly, sternly, with a cold look in his eyes.

RYAN:
(to Susan)
I asked you what you’re doing here.

DANIEL:
Hit her again!

SUSAN:
I…I…came to…to ask for your forgive…ness.

RYAN:
You got a lot of balls, bitch.

JANEY:
RYAN! This is your mother!

RYAN:
Stay out of this Janey. It’s none of your business.

DANIEL:
Yeah, none of your damn business!

JANEY:
Now, hold on!

RYAN:
(roaring)
I SAID STAY OUT OF IT!

Susan gets up to leave.

SUSAN:
It’s all right. I shouldn’t have come.

Ryan says nothing. He is glowering. Janey can’t believe what she’s witnessing. Susan gathers herself and tries to leave proudly, but her inner turmoil is revealed in her unsteady walk. Ryan steps out of the way, watching her coldly. Susan gets to the door. Ryan is leaning against the sink. Janey reaches a breaking point, her own past boils to the surface.

JANEY:
WAIT just a fucking minute!

Janey goes over to Ryan, getting in his face.

JANEY:
What do you think you’re doing? This is your MOTHER!

Ryan avoids looking at her.

RYAN:
So what? She’s a fuckin’ drunk and an addict that screwed me up royally. She’s a worthless bitch!

DANIEL:
Can’t you see what she did to us?

Janey slaps Ryan across the face. He is shocked, and anger flashes in his eyes. Tears are beginning to well up in Janey.

JANEY:
She…is…your…mother. She says she’s here to ask your forgiveness. Now, I don’t know what’s happened in the past, but don’t you think she deserves at least a minute of your precious fucking time?

Ryan explodes.

RYAN:
No, I don’t, JANEY! What is she gonna say? ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Ryan.’ ‘I was a bad person, Ryan.’ ‘I did wrong things, Ryan. But I’m all better now, and I’d like to make it up to you.’ All those years of abuse and neglect are just water under the bridge. Under the fuckin’ bridge, maybe we could be mother and son again? I DON’T MOTHER FUCKING THINK SO!

DANIEL:
You tell ‘em, bro! ‘Bout time you get this shit out!

Susan has slumped to the ground, sobbing like a broken child. Janey goes to her. Ryan is still ranting.

RYAN:
(to Janey)
And just who the fuck do you think you are? Coming in here like a motherfucking queen bee, fixin’ everything, who the fuck asked you to…

Ryan sees his mother sobbing and Janey protecting her. His anger is suddenly broken. He backs away from the two. Janey looks up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks.

DANIEL:
(to Ryan)
Wait. You ain’t done, are ya? You can’t be finished!

JANEY:
(quietly, strongly, tearfully)
My mother died when I was 8. My asshole of a father took a hammer to her head in a drunken rage. I watched her bleed to death…I watched the life go out of her eyes right in front of me on the kitchen floor. Can you imagine how much I wish my mother was still with me? How much I wish she was sitting here, still alive? You inconsiderate, small-minded, selfish asshole.

Ryan looks defeated, deflated, his rage spent. He is a boy once again, all the hurt at the surface. He, himself, fights back tears.

SUSAN:
Ryan? Son?

The calling of his name brings him back to when he was a wide-eyed child looking to his mother for approval and love.

SUSAN:
I’m so sorry for the hell I put you through. I was sick! So very, very ill. I didn’t realize…I didn’t know just how sick until I was committed to a hospital a couple of years ago. It took a long time…I…couldn’t think of anything else but my own selfish sickness. It’s taken years, but…

RYAN:
So, what? It’s all better now?

SUSAN:
No! Of course not! I don’t know that it ever will be. I’m just praying for the chance to try.

Ryan considers this for a moment. He slumps in the chair.

RYAN:
Can you please just leave?

DANIEL:
Ryan, you have to tell her, for me, for me, goddamn it, for us!

SUSAN:
Yes, of course. I’ll leave. Maybe…some other time…will you give me the chance to explain what has happened?

RYAN:
I don’t know if I can.

JANEY:
Ryan, give her a chance.

RYAN:
I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN!

DANIEL:
TELL HER! Change or ROT!

RYAN:
I CAN’T!

SUSAN:
(getting up)
It’s all right. I understand.

Susan gets a pen and paper out of her purse and quickly jots her number on a card.

DANIEL:
Don’t you dare let her leave! How’re you gonna let her walk out without doing what you’ve dreamed? God damn it, boy!

SUSAN:
(to Janey)
If he changes his mind.

She leaves. Janey goes to Ryan and touches his shoulder. Ryan turns away.

DANIEL:
Well, that’s just fuckin’ great! Pussy.

RYAN:
Don’t.

Janey sits on the floor in front of him.

JANEY:
Ryan. RYAN. Look at me. What was that all about? Talk to me.

RYAN:
I can’t.

JANEY:
I’ve never met anyone that needs to talk more than you do, baby. I’m here, now. Talk to me.

Ryan just grabs her and starts to sob, deep wracking sobs borne of an ancient, childhood pain.
The room is silent but for Ryans’ cries and Janeys’ soothing. Ryan gathers himself after a short while, pulls back from Janey…

RYAN:
(half laugh/half sob)
Who the hell are you?

JANEY:
Haven’t you figured that out yet? I’m your tarnished angel.

DANIEL:
I thought I was the angel here.

They both laugh heartily. Ryan makes a decision and goes to the bookcase, grabbing the folder full of paper he snatched from Janey just hours earlier. He takes a deep breath.

RYAN:
(without looking at Janey)
This is stuff I wouldn’t want a psychiatrist to see. Poems and writings when I was still actually trying to be something…

DANIEL:
Hey now. You sure you want to do this?

Ryan ignores Daniel and sits back down in the chair. He starts to go through the pages, looking for just the right one. Janey sees what he’s going to do and jumps up, startling Ryan.

JANEY:
Wait a minute. Just hold on.

She runs over to the bed, flinging herself on her back on the mattress.

JANEY:
I want to close my eyes for this. I want to hear the words.

RYAN:
Umm, it’s really not all that good.

DANIEL:
Trust me, I’ve heard it! Pee-yew!

JANEY:
Oh, shush! Let me be the judge of that. I know good stuff when I hear it.

DANIEL:
A regular literary critic!

JANEY:
(closing her eyes)
Ok, go ahead. I’m ready.

Ryan shakes his head and takes a deep breath, not quite believing he’s going to do this.

RYAN:
Here goes nothing.

‘The wistful intimacy of old memory sings
a ballad of angst-ridden epic loss.
It is the folly of lonely fools to weep against
the truth that time obeys no desire of man.
I cannot turn back, though my heart wishes
the return of an innocence that buoys youth up;
The chronicles of childish antics now little more
than imaginary stories sharing space in fantasy…’

Agh. This is terrible.

DANIEL:
See? What’d I tell you…ah, she can’t hear me anyway…

JANEY:
No! Don’t stop! I swear if you do, I’ll get up and walk out that door this instant!

RYAN:
All right, if you insist.

‘than imaginary stories sharing space in fantasy.
A poor conceit is the fragile mind seeking a song
in fragmented hopes drowned by long years lost.
Too soon the ache of time draws out the momentary high
into the dark pools of secret tears and longing.
Therein warring honesties precariously balance,
One heavier burden giving way to the weight of one’s soul.
A truth laid bare from beginning to dust:
That all is but folly and all truth comes to none.’

DANIEL:
(feigning sincerity)
That’s beautiful, man.

JANEY:
Wow. That’s really…beautiful, Ryan.

DANIEL:
Holee crap. She actually likes it. What do ya know?

RYAN:
You really think so?

Janey crawls off the bed, over to Ryan, and seductively climbs into his lap, straddling him. She wraps her arms around his neck, and looks lustily into his eyes.

JANEY:
Have I mentioned how much I like brainy men?

Janey kisses him hard and long. Ryan soon drops the folder and is sucked into the lusty vortex.

DANIEL:
Damn, now why don’t I get any of that?

LIGHTS DIM.

LIGHTS UP – SAME ROOM, SOME TIME LATER - EVENING.

A light rain is falling on the windows. We know this because the blinds are up, and there is a small window to the outside world. It’s a dreamy romantic addition to a now much cleaner space. Some posters have been added to help cover the holes in the plaster. A plant and small pot of flowers seem to flourish in the rather dark space. A small desk has been added as well, and Ryan is sitting at it, writing furiously, reading as he goes.

RYAN:
(mumbling aloud)
…she walked in like… (mumbling)…all eyes turned… (mumbling)…a slight sneer on her lips…

We hear Janey singing too loudly as she comes up the steps.

JANEY:
Midnight, Not a sound from the pavement, Has the moon lost her mem'ry?

She bursts through the door, letting fly a chorus from CATS.

JANEY:
Mem'ry - All alone in the moonlight. I can smile at the old days, Life was beautiful then. I remember the time I knew what happiness was. Let the mem'ry live again!

She gets down on all fours, crawling like a cat over to Ryan at the desk. Ryan pushes back and away from the desk, enjoying the show.

JANEY:
Touch me - It's so easy to leave me all alone with my mem'ry of my days in the sun. If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is. Look a new day has begun…

Janey crawls up between his legs, giving him a big kiss. Ryan kisses her back just as heartily.

Janey releases him and immediately looks to his writing.

JANEY:
And what’s all this?

RYAN:
Uh-uh. No peeking. Not finished. Not nearly finished. You know better!

He smacks her on the ass to get her away.

JANEY:
Oww! Better stop that or I’m not gonna let you write.

She strolls seductively to the fridge, looking for a beer.

JANEY:
Damn, Ryan! You drank all the beer? You selfish little turd!

RYAN:
(sheepishly)
Sorry, baby. Got wrapped up in the writing. Ah, here’s a twenty. Go get us a case of something?

JANEY:
Do I look like your little slave wench?

RYAN:
Well, yeah, actually, you do!


JANEY:
Oh, no, you didn’t…

A knock at the door stops the play.

RYAN:
Who the hell is that?

He goes and opens the door. Susan is there, disheveled. It’s easy to see she’s really fucked up. Janey sits in the old chair, picks up a book, starts reading.

SUSAN:
(shakily)
Ryan? Baby?

JANEY:
Oh, god.

It takes a moment to register with Ryan. Things were going so well, and suddenly here stands a nightmare from his past threatening to bring down a heartache too much for even him to handle.

RYAN:
Jesus Christ.

SUSAN:
My little boy…

Susan passes out and pitches forward. Ryan half catches her, letting her slide to the floor. He stands over her limp body, and sneers.

RYAN:
I knew it was too good to be true.

Suddenly the entire stage goes black for a few seconds. Just as suddenly the lights come up again.

JANEY/ DANIEL:
Ryan, what are you doing?

Ryan shakes his head, looking around, as if suddenly coming from a dream. Janey is sitting in the slumping chair, reading a book. Daniel is lolling on the bed, propped up on one elbow, grinning stupidly at Ryan. His mother is nowhere to be seen.

DANIEL:
Damn, you losin’ it, bro.

JANEY:
Are you all right, babe?

RYAN:
I don’t know. The weirdest thing…ah. Ha.

DANIEL:
You seein’ shit now!

RYAN:
What do you think you are?

JANEY:
What?

RYAN:
Nothing. Ah, I thought I heard someone outside, that’s all.

He closes the door and goes back to the little desk, standing, staring at the paper on which he was writing. It takes long seconds, but finally he whispers…

RYAN:
Janey?

JANEY:
Yeah, babe?

RYAN:
If I ask you something, will you promise to just answer me and not ask a lot of questions?

Janey looks up from her book, sensing something weird.

JANEY:
Umm, all right.

RYAN:
Seriously. I’m serious, this is really serious.

DANIEL:
What are you doin’, man?

Janey puts the book down, suddenly attentive. Daniel swings his legs over the side of the bed, taking a similar position to what Ryan was that first morning.

JANEY:
Of course. I’m all ears.

Ryan sits at the desk, unable to look at Janey or Daniel.

RYAN:
Ah…uh…shit.

JANEY:
Ryan, just say it, whatever it is.

RYAN:
What just happened?

JANEY:
What do you mean?

DANIEL:
Yeah, whaddaya mean?

RYAN:
Just now…at the door. Right before that…

JANEY:
I don’t know. You were writing, and all of a sudden, you got up, went over to the fridge, said something about being out of beer, slammed the door shut. Um, then you said, ‘who the hell is that’, went to the door, opened it, stood there for a second, and then you said something like, ‘too good to be true.’

RYAN:
You didn’t hear anything?

JANEY:
Besides you?

RYAN:
Yeah.

JANEY:
Not a thing. Nothing but the usual creaks and groans and sirens and whatnot.

DANIEL:
I didn’t hear nothin’ either!

Ryan looks lost.

RYAN:
And before that? For like the last 10 minutes?

JANEY:
Before that? Umm, nothing. You’ve been writing, and I’ve been reading.

RYAN:
You didn’t just come in singing “Cats?”

JANEY:
What are you talking about? No! You: writing; Me: sitting, reading, for like, an hour.

RYAN:
Shit.

He is silent. The tension is palpable…

DANIEL:
Goddamn, you are losin’ it.

RYAN:
I have to tell you something.

JANEY:
Okay.

DANIEL:
Yeah, you better tell her something, you freaky-deeky!

Ryan stands up and starts to pace, nervous energy oozing from every pore.

RYAN:
It’s been so good between us for the last few weeks, and I’m afraid what I need to tell you is gonna fuck that up.

DANIEL:
What are you up to, buddy?

JANEY:
Baby, there’s nothing you could say to change how I feel…well, unless you’re a rapist or a baby killer or something silly…

DANIEL:
Momma Beater!

RYAN:
No. Nothing Like that.

JANEY:
Jesus, you’re freaking me out. Just say it, would you?

RYAN:
I think I’m a little… (he taps his forehead).

JANEY:
What? What?

RYAN:
Ah, damn.

JANEY:
You’re really scaring me!

RYAN:
You should be. Scared, that is…

JANEY:
(almost breathless)
What?

DANIEL:
Okay, you better take a second here. You’re about to fuck things up good!

RYAN:
Would you shut the fuck UP, Daniel!

JANEY:
Daniel? Who the hell is Daniel? What is going on here, Ryan?

DANIEL:
Yeah, what is going on here, Ryannnn?

Ryan practically leaps over to the bed, sticks his fist in Daniel’s face,

RYAN:
You better shut it, and now, motherfucker.

Janey is totally freaked, backed up in the chair as far as she can go.

DANIEL:
Oh, what’re ya gonna do? Hit me too? Just like yo’ poor pathetic weak ass momma! Hah! Like that would do a damn thing. Pussy.

RYAN:
I swear to god, I don’t care if you are my older brother, I’ll still kick your ass if you don’t shut the fuck up!

DANIEL:
You’re weak, you’ve always been weak! I’m tired of protecting you! You’re gonna kick my ass? It’s about damn time! I dare you, I dare you to…

Ryan grabs Daniel by the shirt and starts shaking him like a rag doll. Daniel cackling like a ghoul the whole time.

RYAN:
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! You lousy stinkin’ pain in my ass! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY MOTHERFUCKIN’ HEAD!

JANEY:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The scream snaps Ryan out of his rage. He looks down at Daniel, and then at Janey, who is terrified. He lets go and stumbles backwards.

DANIEL:
Woo! That was fun!

Ryan makes a move to go to Janey, but she cowers and reflexively sticks out a hand to hold him at bay.

RYAN:
(pleading)
Janey…

JANEY:
No. No. You…don’t come near me.

RYAN:
Oh, please, no. Wait. Let me explain.

JANEY:
No. Don’t want one. Stay away. Just let me go. Please. Don’t hurt me.

RYAN:
Hurt you? What? I would never…

Again, he moves towards her.

JANEY:
AH! Please, no!

He sits hard at the desk.

RYAN:
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Go. I won’t try to stop you.

Janey cautiously gets up from the chair, trembling like a child. All she can think to grab is her purse. She is almost out the door when…

RYAN:
I love you.

JANEY:
What?

RYAN:
I love you, Janey.

Janey looks hard at him, says nothing, and leaves.

DANIEL:
You handled that well.

Ryan breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably.

LIGHTS DOWN.

END ACT I

ACT II

LIGHTS UP – SAME ROOM, A FEW DAYS LATER.

It is clear that Ryan has slipped into some sick malaise. Once again, the floor is strewn with bottles of alcohol. He is disheveled, unkempt, almost gross, but he is still writing. Ryan is mildly drunk.

RYAN:
(reading along with his writing)
I have lost all that is dear to me…I am insane and have slipped into a hell of my own making.

DANIEL:
You gotta knock off this crazy talk, Ryan.

RYAN:
(trying to ignore him)
The voice won’t shut up. My childhood friend, protector and older brother has now become my greatest enemy.

DANIEL:
Enemy? I’ve been the only one on your side the whole fuckin time, dude!

RYAN:
His prattling is like nails on a chalkboard, serving only to remind me just how deep I have slipped into the darkness…

DANIEL:
Dammit, will you stop talking like that? You sound like a fuckin’ sissy!

RYAN:
You shut up! Haven’t you fucked things up enough for me yet?

DANIEL:
(laughing)
Fucked things up for you? Now, just how did I do that? I’m not even real, you whack job.

At this, Ryan sets his pen down and turns to face Daniel.

RYAN:
I know that. I know you’re not real. What do you think I should do? What would you have me do? What can I do? I’m a “whack job,” right? I should just kill myself and get it all over with.

DANIEL:
You selfish asshole. History is full of slick little losers like you. What? You think you have some kind of monopoly on a tough life? Brother, you’re the only one that’s making it tough on yourself. You have something, and you can’t even see it…yeah, go ahead, kill yourself, doin’ the world a damn favor.

RYAN:
What? What do I have?

DANIEL:
Why should I tell you?

RYAN:
What have you got to lose?

DANIEL:
Yeah, I guess you’re right there. Nothin to lose, bein’ that you is me and I you. Allright, you ready, dumb ass?

RYAN:
Can you knock off with the insults? It’s not helping.

DANIEL:
I make no promises. I am what I am.

RYAN:
Whatever.

DANIEL:
You have talent, you ignoramus. Talent. That rare gift that so few people in this world have. You have the ability to weave stories, tell tales, relate history, record, enhance, and illuminate the world.

RYAN:
Yeah, right.

DANIEL:
Why is it every artist thinks nothin’ of themselves or everything of themselves! Jesus! I guess it’s the price ya gotta pay when talent is the gift. Ok, so we had a really screwed up childhood, but not so bad that we can’t find a way around it. All right, so Mom was…is a crazy ol’ bat - only a few marbles knockin’ around. So you haven’t been the Prince of Dating…and you drink way too much when things aren’t that good, which is a lot…ah, damn it, Ryan. You don’t have it half as bad as a lot of other folks, can’t you see that?

RYAN:
No, I guess I can’t.

DANIEL:
I’m dead, that’s about as bad as it gets, don’t you think? You’re alive, with a chance to do something, yet you waste it on self-pity.

RYAN:
Without me, I have nothing…but I’m so tired of being alone.

Daniel goes to him, takes Ryan’s face in both hands.

DANIEL:
IT’S NOT ABOUT JUST YOU! Life is so much more, so much. It kills me to see you wasting away.

RYAN:
I don’t understand…

DANIEL:
Just why is it, you think, that Janey wanted to be with you, anyway? Your good looks?

RYAN:
Well…

DANIEL:
Get over yourself, fool. She was so frickin’ hot she could have gotten any pimp, hustler, politician or high money player she wanted; it ain’t that hard for a chick like her.

RYAN:
Then why?

DANIEL:
Goddamn, you are dense! Your talent! She loved your writing! She thought you had something to offer the world, and her, and she decided to ride along, despite your temper tantrums and other little quirks.

RYAN:
Yeah, screwed that up but good, didn’t I?

DANIEL:
Worse than you know. If I was you, I’d be out combing the entire city for her. You ain’t gonna have it that good with anyone again.

RYAN:
I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

DANIEL:
And that matters why? It ain’t like you got a whole lot goin’ on right now. It matters that you get off your sorry ass and actually get out there, doin’ something about it.

RYAN:
You’re right. Do you think I’ll find her? You think I might get her back?

DANIEL:
Hell no! You goin’ off all “crazy-eyed-I’ll-kick-your-ass” probably scared her off for good, but you ain’t got nothin better to do, am I right?

RYAN:
Yeah.

DANIEL:
I mean, writing all poetic-poor-me-my-life-is-over doesn’t help a thing…

RYAN:
All right, I got it.

DANIEL:
“How deep I have slipped into darkness…” What a load!

RYAN:
I GOT IT!

Ryan grabs his coat and catches a look in the mirror.

RYAN:
I look like hell…

DANIEL:
(pushing him towards the door)
Your writing, not your looks…

RYAN:
Right, right.

A knock at the door. Ryan and Daniel look at each other nervously.

DANIEL:
I hope it ain’t Mom again.

Ryan cautiously opens the door. Janey is standing there, looking as forlorn and lost as any abandoned child ever has.

DANIEL:
Well, well, well, looky who it is.

RYAN:
Janey. Oh, my god….what…

Janey looks at him with such forlorn loss, his words catch in his throat.

JANEY:
I don’t know what to do.

RYAN:
Do…Do you want…to come in?

Janey walks in without a word and sits once again in the old chair.

RYAN:
I’m sorry. I’m sorry about the place. It’s a mess. I…I…haven’t been doing so well since…(he hesitates)

JANEY:
You don’t look so good.

RYAN:
Yeah. Like I said…it’s been a rough few days.

JANEY:
Ryan?

RYAN:
Yes?

JANEY:
I need you to tell me everything. And I do mean everything. I don’t know if it will make any difference, but I have to know.

RYAN:
God, I don’t know where to start.

JANEY:
With your mother. I want to know about that first.

RYAN:
The whole thing, or just the salient points?

JANEY:
Don’t be glib. You want me back, don’t you?

RYAN:
Hell, yes.

JANEY:
Do you…still…love me?

RYAN:
More than I…I’m not sure how much, more than I can put into words.

JANEY:
Then just be honest…don’t even try to make a joke.

RYAN:
Yeah. This is so hard, Janey. I haven’t talked about these things with anyone, ever.

JANEY:
You were going to tell me something important the other day, weren’t you?

RYAN:
Yes, I was.

JANEY:
Then start there.

Ryan sighs deep and long.

RYAN:
I have an imaginary friend.

JANEY:
What?

RYAN:
Ah, I don’t know exactly what he is, but he’s…not real. He’s only in my mind. It first happened when I was eight. We lived on the outskirts of Brooklyn. In a crappy little 2-bedroom hole. Things were very bad with my mother then; my father had just disappeared, I was incredibly lonely and scared, spending hours in my room by myself, and suddenly he was there, just as I remembered him. Things were so bad for so long, and he kept me sane through those times.

JANEY:
This is Daniel?

RYAN:
Yes. Daniel. Big, bold, unafraid. So many things I never was or ever thought I could be. He went away for years after I moved out on my own. But then, things got really bad again, and suddenly, about a year ago there he was, and I haven’t been able to get rid of him since.

JANEY:
You know that sounds a little crazy, right?

RYAN:
Tell me about it. I mean, how do you go about dating and the like when you’ve got a kid talking in your ear all the time?

JANEY:
A kid? Okay. I knew you were a little out there. Matter of fact, I kinda liked that about you. But a kid?

RYAN:
In my defense: It happened when I was a kid myself.

JANEY:
Don’t those “things” usually go away after a while or something?

RYAN:
He did, for a while. I don’t know. “An unusually powerful manifestation of deep-seeded insecurities. This young man might not be able to free himself of his “friend.”

JANEY:
And that is from?

RYAN:
A counselor my mom sent me to when I became “uncontrollable.” I got hold of the report when he was out of the room one day.

JANEY:
Riiight. So, he’s here now now, in the room?

Ryan looks around and sees Daniel waving.

RYAN:
Yes. Over there, by the bed.

Janey tries to see then catches herself.

JANEY:
What am I doing? I can’t see your figment!

Janey takes a moment.

JANEY:
Can you make “Daniel” go away?

RYAN:
I don’t know. I don’t really control it, him. He’s around sometimes, sometimes not. I can’t tell you why he’s still here, he just is, okay?

JANEY:
And all this because of your mom?

RYAN:
More than just her, but a lot because of her, yes. Are you sure you want to know about this? It isn’t pretty.

JANEY:
You think my life was pretty? All I care about is the truth.

RYAN:
That was the first time I’ve seen her in almost 8 years, the other night. It’s been impossible to deal with her for longer than I care to remember. She’s an addict. Mostly alcohol and pills. I can’t remember a time when she was decent or caring, just angry, cold, bitter and fucked up.

JANEY:
You have no pleasant memories?

RYAN:
Yeah, one.

JANEY:
Please tell me. I need a little something to hold on to here.

RYAN:
Okay. Ah, the four of us were sitting at the dinner table, things were tense as usual. My parents had another fight earlier in the day and at the table they were mostly just glaring at each other. Finally, Dad had had enough and left. We were all just sitting there…

JANEY:
four?

RYAN:
Me, my mom, dad…and my older brother.

JANEY:
You have an older brother?

RYAN:
After, okay?

JANEY:
I’m sorry. Go on.

RYAN:
Just sitting at the table, everyone silent, barely able to look at each other when out of nowhere, my mother starts this long, thin fart.

JANEY:
No!

RYAN:
Yeah! It wasn’t a “braapp,” or a “thwppp,” it was an “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” and it went on for like, half a minute! Daniel and I were shocked! She’d never done anything like that before! By the time it was done, we were laughing so hard, we had spaghetti coming out of our noses! We laughed so much we couldn’t breathe…then Mom went to get another scotch, and it was over. (long pause) Daniel was killed two days later.

JANEY:
Daniel? He’s your older brother? This imaginary…

RYAN:
Yes. Daniel.

JANEY:
How?

RYAN:
What?

JANEY:
How did Daniel…you know…

RYAN:
Run over by a car. I can’t…

JANEY:
Please tell me.

DANIEL:
I really don’t wanna hear this.

RYAN:
We were playing football out front. Didn’t think anything of it, we did it all the time. Me, Daniel, couple of the neighbors kids too, like four times a week, you know? Daniel and me against the world…anyway, this play he let me be quarterback, he never did that. “I’m gonna go long, buddy. You toss that pill like it was a live grenade.” He winked at me right before the final hut. I went back, he went out in the street to cross over to the other side, like I’ve done a hundred times before with him as quarterback. Everybody was yelling, so no one heard the car. I threw that ball with all my might, but it was short. Danny came back into the street to catch it. The car slammed on its brakes but couldn’t stop. It tossed him like a rag doll against the cars lining the street. I heard this wet crunch, and I could hear Danny say, “Oh.” Suddenly everything was silent. I waited for him to get up and make some kind of stupid joke, like he does all the time, but he just lies there not movin’. I couldn’t move either.

JANEY:
I’m so sorry, baby. It’s not your fault.

RYAN:
Yes, it is! I threw that ball! He came into the street to catch that stupid fuckin’ thing, and he got killed for it! I didn’t get to say goodbye!

JANEY:
It was an accident.

RYAN:
I know that. But that was when everything went to shit. Mom drank and popped pills every minute of the day. My dad fell apart…he left six months later. Mom went off the deep end, and I had to take care of myself. You see where that got me. All because I couldn’t get a pass across the street.

JANEY:
Oh, Ryan…

RYAN:
I missed him so much. I woke up one morning, and he was sitting on my bed, giving me hell about oversleeping for school again. Just like nothing had happened. I wanted so much for him to be there, for somebody to be there for me, that I made him alive…in my mind.

JANEY:
How is any of this your fault?

RYAN:
How the hell should I know?! Maybe I’m just totally fucked in the head! A little (he smacks his head violently) “teched”…you know insano, whacko, nut job, freaky deeky, “a socially retarded young man, incapable of true interpersonal interactions on any social level!” Retarded!

Ryan catches himself, embarrassed.

JANEY:
Where…

RYAN:
The counselor. I didn’t see him long, but he sure had a lot to say about me!

JANEY:
(with resolve)
None of this is your fault, baby.

RYAN:
Doesn’t change the truth, does it? I am what I am.
(laughing)
Daniel says that all the time.

JANEY:
You talk about him as if he’s real.

RYAN:
He is to me, don’t you see? All those years, my mother wouldn’t touch me, hug me, tell me she loved me, Daniel was my only friend! Why do you think I kept him alive? I was alone and afraid. I’m not good at dealing with people. When you came along…

DANIEL:
Thanks, bro, I love you too, only not like that.

JANEY:
Ryan, don’t…

RYAN:
…when you came along, I couldn’t believe my luck. I thought I had finally found someone. Before, I wouldn’t let anyone get close to me, I kept pushing everyone that wanted to get close to me away, and suddenly there you were, loving me despite everything! And Danny not shutting up, I was afraid I was going to lose you if you found out about him, and I did.
(looking desperately at Janey) Did I, Janey? Did I lose you?

TO BE CONTINUED…(I think)