Country music is simple, yet complex, sad, yet happy, so let's write a country song! |
Aaah the wonderful world of Country music! I am a country music fan, and I thought It would be great if the creative minds on this sight could help me write a country song! Be as silly and suggestive as you like, but no out right, slap-you-in-the-face smut. We have to respect the rating don't we? I will begin the first line, and you can add the next verse. Good luck and have fun! YEEEEHAW! This item has received a lot of views, so let's spark it up a little bit with a new beginning! Away we go! |
I blamed the dog, he's always been pranky (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) But then I noticed a rose-scented hanky. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) One thing about Noser - he does not like flowers (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Except as recipients of his golden showers (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) So who owned the hanky? Because they burned the tail! (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) The answer was obvious when I read through my mail. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) The answer was in a letter I got from a guy in Frisco (Dad ) You remember Garry? He usta own a disco (Dad ) It was on the corner of Fourth and Vine (Dad ) Next door was a cafe that served a good wine. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) They called the place Tater which might seem weird (CopyPaper ) Until you noticed the owner's beard (CopyPaper ) Her name was Taylor and she was short, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) Dwarfly proportions, but her mom didn't abort, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) But unlike the singer, Taylor wasn't so swift, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) A mashed-potato beard provided her lift. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) And she was the one that burned my cat's tail, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) The paper in her letter had a potatoey smay-ull. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) She apologized and swore an accident, it was (Dad ) She never intended to hurt the cat becuz (Dad ) he was the best mouser the world ever knew (Dad ) but without his tail for balance, the cat is screw - ed (Dad ) The cat's name was Herman and though his tail was burnt, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) He fetched my paper every day, and told me events curr'nt. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) Herman was a whiz at crossword and sudoku (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) He liked to eat sushi and practice his Kung Fu (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) He knew the capitals of every nation in the world (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Which parks had pigeons and which parks had squirrels (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) But he couldn't tell be bacause he couldn't speak (Dad ) He wasn't mute, no, he was just too meek (Dad ) He didn't mind me looking over his shoulder (CopyPaper ) But it wasn't because he was getting older (CopyPaper ) And his burnt-off tail was beginning to rot (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) And it started to smell, a hell of a lot! (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) But Herman didn't smell it because his nose still had a clog (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) From when he tried to smell a hypnotoad in an LSD bog. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Herman finally met a female feline one day (CopyPaper ) And can you believe it? It occured on a Monday (CopyPaper ) Her name was Tanesha, she was named for her owner (CopyPaper ) A very nasty man who always had a boner. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) He wasn't any good at naming cats or titling a poem (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) But he had a neighbor, Barbara, who often did it for him. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) So she named the cat Tanesha who would become old Herman's mate (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) In fact, it was Barbara who arranged their first date. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Herman and Tanesha, in the alley eating spaghetti (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Very Disneyesque, but they both were hot and ready. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Later they woke the neighbors with their ardent caterwauling, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) And in 66 days, five kittens were born, as a result of their balling. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) Herman and Tanesha then went their separate ways (CopyPaper ) Her tail was soon burned off in an accidental blaze (CopyPaper ) Tanesha was glad he left, she felt lucky (Dad ) "Except for the kittens, I'm sorry I let him ... eat spaghettti with me" (Dad ) Tanesha raised the kitttens to be independent, brave, and bold (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Their story is inspiring and one day will be told. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Meanwhile poor old Herman has to live with boner man (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Drinking water from the faucet, eating supper from a tuna can. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) While Tanesha lives with Barbara and always has fresh fish (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Served with a side of catnip on her very own special dish. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) This song seems to have run its course, so let's start a new one. It's December, so let's write a country Christmas song. (Dad ) 'Tis the season to be crabby (Dad ) Doesn't matter if you're thin or flabby (Dad ) You can be fat or you can be thin (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Just pay attention to what season we're in. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) It's Chrristmas! The birth of our Lord! (Dad ) We celebrate by driving like nuts in our rusty ol' Ford (Dad ) Last night I put up my tree, on top I stuck a fairy (deemac ) She ed and said, "Your hands are cold", which I found kinda scary (deemac ) The stockings I hung by the chimney with care (Dad ) In hopes the St. Nicholas won't ask me to play "Truth or Dare" (Dad ) Last year he took all my cookies and milk (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) And told me my skin was "soft as silk" (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Vodka in the milk and Exlax in the cookies this year (Dad ) And what to HIS wondering eyes shall appear! (Dad ) A giant toy workshop with raw materials and elves (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Who work through the year to fill up its shelves. (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Went out to his truck and noticed signs of Spring...March caught up with him again! (Maryann ) All the snow had melted, thus, Santa had to take the bus (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) "Give me a ticket to Reno," he told the bus driver, while tossing him a cheerful smile and a fiver (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) At the wedding chapel, a nun wearing a habit (Dad ) married St. Nick to Jessica Rabbit (Dad ) Now, if the name Jessica Rabbit Claus (Dad ) ain't 'nuff to give us to pause (Dad ) Said Nick, "You Jessica, I adore" 'n' / They bought a house in Buffet Warren (deemac ) Eventually Jess and Nick had three kids (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) But then Santa's sleigh hit he skids (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) The elves were enraged by low minimum wage (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) the cash the got warn't green, but beige! (Dad ) "These bills are rotten!" the elves complain (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Then Global Warming turns the snow to rain! (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) The rain came down so hard one day (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) It worshed away poor Santa's sleigh (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) And that was the end of Santa's tedious North Pole life (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Now he had Kansas and Jessica Rabbit for a wife (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Therein ends our sordid tale/of cartoon characters and bearded males. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) Time for a new song! Spring has sprung, and so's my toe, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) I went toe first in a gopher hole (Ravenwand, Rising Star! ) I must remember: heel then sole! (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) "What time is it?" snapped the gopher / I said, "What ya wanna know fer?" (deemac ) "I think I'm running late," said the gopher with a frown (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) So I gave the pesky rodent a little ride downtown (Steev the Friction Wizurd ) Total Displayed: 100 |