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Rated: 13+ · In & Out · Music · #1005753
Country music is simple, yet complex, sad, yet happy, so let's write a country song!
*Flower2*Aaah the wonderful world of Country music!*Flower2*

I am a country music fan, and I thought It would be great if the creative minds on this sight could help me write a country song! Be as silly and suggestive as you like, but no out right, slap-you-in-the-face smut. We have to respect the rating don't we? I will begin the first line, and you can add the next verse. Good luck and have fun!

*Note1**Heart*YEEEEHAW!*Heart**Note1*

*Star*This item has received a lot of views, so let's spark it up a little bit with a new beginning! Away we go!*Star*


I blamed the dog, he's always been pranky (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

But then I noticed a rose-scented hanky. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

One thing about Noser - he does not like flowers (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Except as recipients of his golden showers (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

So who owned the hanky? Because they burned the tail! (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

The answer was obvious when I read through my mail. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

The answer was in a letter I got from a guy in Frisco (Dad Author Icon)

You remember Garry? He usta own a disco (Dad Author Icon)

It was on the corner of Fourth and Vine (Dad Author Icon)

Next door was a cafe that served a good wine. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

They called the place Tater which might seem weird (CopyPaper Author Icon)

Until you noticed the owner's beard (CopyPaper Author Icon)

Her name was Taylor and she was short, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

Dwarfly proportions, but her mom didn't abort, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

But unlike the singer, Taylor wasn't so swift, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

A mashed-potato beard provided her lift. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

And she was the one that burned my cat's tail, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

The paper in her letter had a potatoey smay-ull. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

She apologized and swore an accident, it was (Dad Author Icon)

She never intended to hurt the cat becuz (Dad Author Icon)

he was the best mouser the world ever knew (Dad Author Icon)

but without his tail for balance, the cat is screw - ed (Dad Author Icon)

The cat's name was Herman and though his tail was burnt, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

He fetched my paper every day, and told me events curr'nt. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

Herman was a whiz at crossword and sudoku (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

He liked to eat sushi and practice his Kung Fu (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

He knew the capitals of every nation in the world (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Which parks had pigeons and which parks had squirrels (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

But he couldn't tell be bacause he couldn't speak (Dad Author Icon)

He wasn't mute, no, he was just too meek (Dad Author Icon)

He didn't mind me looking over his shoulder (CopyPaper Author Icon)

But it wasn't because he was getting older (CopyPaper Author Icon)

And his burnt-off tail was beginning to rot (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

And it started to smell, a hell of a lot! (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

But Herman didn't smell it because his nose still had a clog (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

From when he tried to smell a hypnotoad in an LSD bog. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Herman finally met a female feline one day (CopyPaper Author Icon)

And can you believe it? It occured on a Monday (CopyPaper Author Icon)

Her name was Tanesha, she was named for her owner (CopyPaper Author Icon)

A very nasty man who always had a boner. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

He wasn't any good at naming cats or titling a poem (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

But he had a neighbor, Barbara, who often did it for him. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

So she named the cat Tanesha who would become old Herman's mate (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

In fact, it was Barbara who arranged their first date. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Herman and Tanesha, in the alley eating spaghetti (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Very Disneyesque, but they both were hot and ready. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Later they woke the neighbors with their ardent caterwauling, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

And in 66 days, five kittens were born, as a result of their balling. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

Herman and Tanesha then went their separate ways (CopyPaper Author Icon)

Her tail was soon burned off in an accidental blaze (CopyPaper Author Icon)

Tanesha was glad he left, she felt lucky (Dad Author Icon)

"Except for the kittens, I'm sorry I let him ... eat spaghettti with me" (Dad Author Icon)

Tanesha raised the kitttens to be independent, brave, and bold (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Their story is inspiring and one day will be told. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Meanwhile poor old Herman has to live with boner man (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Drinking water from the faucet, eating supper from a tuna can. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

While Tanesha lives with Barbara and always has fresh fish (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Served with a side of catnip on her very own special dish. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

This song seems to have run its course, so let's start a new one. It's December, so let's write a country Christmas song. (Dad Author Icon)

'Tis the season to be crabby (Dad Author Icon)

Doesn't matter if you're thin or flabby (Dad Author Icon)

You can be fat or you can be thin (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Just pay attention to what season we're in. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

It's Chrristmas! The birth of our Lord! (Dad Author Icon)

We celebrate by driving like nuts in our rusty ol' Ford (Dad Author Icon)

Last night I put up my tree, on top I stuck a fairy (deemac Author Icon)

She *Frown*ed and said, "Your hands are cold", which I found kinda scary *Shock* (deemac Author Icon)

The stockings I hung by the chimney with care (Dad Author Icon)

In hopes the St. Nicholas won't ask me to play "Truth or Dare" (Dad Author Icon)

Last year he took all my cookies and milk (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

And told me my skin was "soft as silk" (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Vodka in the milk and Exlax in the cookies this year (Dad Author Icon)

And what to HIS wondering eyes shall appear! (Dad Author Icon)

A giant toy workshop with raw materials and elves (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Who work through the year to fill up its shelves. (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

*Music2* Went out to his truck and noticed signs of Spring...March caught up with him again! *Music1* (Maryann Author Icon)

All the snow had melted, thus, Santa had to take the bus (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

"Give me a ticket to Reno," he told the bus driver, while tossing him a cheerful smile and a fiver (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

At the wedding chapel, a nun wearing a habit (Dad Author Icon)

married St. Nick to Jessica Rabbit (Dad Author Icon)

Now, if the name Jessica Rabbit Claus (Dad Author Icon)

ain't 'nuff to give us to pause (Dad Author Icon)

Said Nick, "You Jessica, I adore" 'n' / They bought a house in Buffet Warren (deemac Author Icon)

Eventually Jess and Nick had three kids (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

But then Santa's sleigh hit he skids (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

The elves were enraged by low minimum wage (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

the cash the got warn't green, but beige! (Dad Author Icon)

"These bills are rotten!" the elves complain (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Then Global Warming turns the snow to rain! (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

The rain came down so hard one day (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

It worshed away poor Santa's sleigh (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

And that was the end of Santa's tedious North Pole life (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Now he had Kansas and Jessica Rabbit for a wife (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Therein ends our sordid tale/of cartoon characters and bearded males. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

Time for a new song! Spring has sprung, and so's my toe, (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

I went toe first in a gopher hole (Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon)

I must remember: heel then sole! (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

"What time is it?" snapped the gopher / I said, "What ya wanna know fer?" (deemac Author Icon)

"I think I'm running late," said the gopher with a frown (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

So I gave the pesky rodent a little ride downtown (Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon)

Total Displayed: 100

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