The First Love

This story contains mentions of instances rape. I do not endorse rape in any way, it's just a part of the story! Enjoy!

I had always wondered about Nun. Even as a child, he never showed any interest in becoming one of the male marauders who would raid our group for females every so often. He never showed any interest in hunting, a male ritual, and was always more content to follow behind the women and gather what fruit or seed was available, the whole world being our garden. I know it caused him pain, being a male with good working parts, but acting like a female. The boys would make fun of him, throwing stones at him, threatening to cut off his manhood to make him a “complete” woman. He became a quiet male, not the type to wrestle with his age mates, or challenge outsiders to a show of strength. He was very unusual, to say the least.

He didn’t change at all when his sack dropped, and he grew hair on his body. All the boys, who were soon to be men, were leaving for the male bands, to become hunters and fighters. Nun stayed. I would have asked him why, then, but he was becoming a man, and I was becoming afraid of him. The male was something to fear in our group. He took what he wanted from our kind, by force, and didn’t think twice about leaving her to rejoin his male pack. He made destructive fires, burning plants that us females needed to survive. They screamed and made loud noises, and they smelled awful. The male was worse than a raging buffalo, or a rampaging elephant.

I had reason to fear him even more when I began to bleed Woman’s blood. I cried when I saw the first of it, knowing that I was soon to be raped, and impregnated (which killed many women). My mother tried to soothe me, but I would hear none of it. I wanted to die. I wanted to lay down and let an elephant crush me underfoot. I wanted to drown in a river. Any of that was better than letting a man use me and leave me. It wasn’t fair!

I was attempting to do something like that, when Nun approached me. I was high up on the scout’s rock, which is what we used to look around the whole forest, and was thinking about jumping. I changed my mind, knowing it would never work. Several women of my group had fallen and survived, minus an arm or two. Males would mate with any female, regardless of how many limbs she had. As a matter of fact, the weaker she was, the more times she was mated, because she was easier to catch and pin down.

I turned to leave, and there he was behind me. “Nun!” I exclaimed. “Why are you creeping around like that?”

“You shouldn’t jump. I know what us males do hurts you women, but you shouldn’t try to die.” he spoke softly, his voice had become noticeably deeper in the past year since he had become a man. He was looking at me in the strangest way, but I didn’t know why. Did I have fruit stuck in my teeth? When I checked my teeth with my finger, I knew it wasn’t that.

“Why are looking at me? Do you want to fight me?” as soon as I said it, I realized how stupid I sounded. Nun didn’t fight anyone.

“No! Nothing like that! It’s just, I get this feeling for you when I see you.” he took a step toward me, and I took two steps back. “Please. Don’t run away from me.” he said, dropping his head. “I only want…”

“You want to mate with me!” I screamed. Nun was just like the others. He was just more sneaky about it, like a lion blending in with the gold-brown brush to surprise a gazelle. I started to run, but he grabbed me.

“Yes, I want to mate with you.” He whispered. But he didn’t throw me to the ground and start rutting me immediately, even though I could feel his male organ pressed against my thigh. I wondered why. Males didn’t even announce their intentions, they just took what they wanted.

“Why are you telling me? Why don’t you just take what you want, like the others?” I asked him.

“I want to mate with you, but I don’t want to leave to join the other males.” he said. “I want you to accept me as your mate-for-life.”

“For life?!” I gasped. Such a thing was unheard of. It was usual for a woman to bear five children by five different males. It was the way of things. Males took whoever was available.

“Yes. And I will protect you against other males. No one will mate with you but me.”

I laughed then. “How will you protect me? You don’t fight anyone!” I turned away from him, but he grabbed me and made me face him.

“I have made something that I can kill any male I want with.” he told me, his dark eyes bright.

“Even One-Eye?” I asked. One-Eye was my father, and the most feared and dominating male anyone had heard of, even though he had one eye. He had gotten the most females pregnant out of all the other males, simply because he wanted to. At least once during a full phase of the moon, he’d come screaming into our camp and carry off a woman. We would all hear her pained cries as he rutted her the whole night long. Then he would leave her where she was, and she would have to limp back to us, barely able to stand from his rough mating. And she would almost certainly be pregnant in the next few weeks.

“If you mate with me, I will kill One-Eye if he tries to take you.” he said. I grew quiet. I was more afraid of One-Eye than any other male. He had always had his one good eye on me, every time he came to camp he would look for me, just to stare me in the face, and his cock would rise. Then he would take another a female. I knew if he saw me, he would smell my Woman’s Blood, and he would take me. Few of the young ones he took survived. We would often find them in the morning, lying in their own blood and his seed.

“How?” I asked. Nun had been born only a few months before me. One-Eye was several decades old, and strong. There were rumors of him wrestling a gazelle to the ground and then eating the whole animal. That was how he lost his eye. One-Eye was ruthless! How could Nun, less than half his size, kill him?

“You will see when he approaches you. I will make short work of him.” He sounded smug, as if there wasn’t anyone or anything that could harm him.

A warm feeling came over me, something that made my breasts harden, and my privates moisten. Why did I suddenly want him to throw me down and mate with me? Was it because he promised to protect me against One-Eye? Or because his manhood was now fully hardened and pressed against his stomach? I became confused. What was happening to me?

“I can’t mate with you. I’ll become pregnant and die. I don’t want to die!” I tried to run. He grabbed me and pressed me to him, instinctively rubbing me against his erect penis.

“If you mate with me, you won’t die from having a child.” he whispered in my ear, as if that was his biggest secret of all.

Being so close to him made me tremble, made my breasts tighten even more. “How?”

“I know a way. Will you mate with me?” He said it in such an open, optional way that made me say yes. I wanted to mate with him. He could protect me from my two greatest fears, and I could feel that being around him was doing something to my body, something strange. Something nice. “Turn around, and get on your hands and knees.” he told me. At first, I tried to tell him he was wrong. Whenever I had seen women being rutted in the open, the male had always pinned the woman down, stomach to stomach, so they couldn’t escape. “Gorillas mate in this way.” he told me, getting behind me. “This way if a wild animal comes, or if another male wants to take you from me, I can move quickly to protect us both.” I nodded, having never thought of that before. Males did occasionally fight over the same woman and break a rock over the head of a rutting male, and lions and hyenas did attack rutting males, since they were an easy target with their backs turned.

Nun had no trouble finding my womanhood. Still, he probed it slightly, not moving his penis all the way in, just the head of it. “What are you waiting for?” I asked, annoyed.

“I wanted to make sure I wasn’t hurting you.” he told me. He started to slide all the way in, inch by inch. It felt really uncomfortable, and I began to see why women didn’t mate with males willingly. Suddenly, he stopped.

“Now I know why there is so much blood when a male has a woman for the first time.” he said, moving against the blockage as gently as he could. “This will hurt you. I have to break something inside of you.” He slid all the way out, then he moved in as hard as he could. I screamed, feeling pain deep inside me. I tried to get away, wriggling on his penis, but he looped his arms around my stomach and molded his body to mine. “You will have to allow me to mate you. I will continue when you feel the pain leave you.” he said, rubbing his hands on my back to soothe me. I cried quietly, but the pain did stop eventually. “Can I mate with you now?” he asked after some time.

“Yes.” I whispered. He pressed himself into me quickly, eager that there was nothing stopping him now, and he held my hips to his, crying out as he emptied his seed into me. It actually felt nice, being filled with his warm fluid, and I was disappointed when he withdrew.

“Don’t forget.” he told me. “We are mated for life.” Then he did something strange. He hit me on my buttocks.

“Ow!” I cried. “Why did you hit me?” I turned around to hit him back, but he just circled in back of me and bent me to my hands and knees.

“I want you again.” he told me. I allowed him to mount me again, and this time, I got some more pleasure out of it, enjoying the way my womanhood was contracting against his slow stroking. Most men would be satisfied with a quick rapid mating, and then they would be on their way, but Nun wanted our mating to last as long as possible. Did he have another reason for mating with me, besides making me pregnant? I just didn’t understand him! When he spilled his seed in me the second time, he remained inside of me for some time, his upper body sprawled on top of mine. I was exhausted as well, sweat pouring off my hanging breasts in rivulets.

He pulled out finally, and I turned myself over to lay on my back. “I am glad you aren’t like other males.” I told him. “That was better than I ever expected it to be.”

He came over to me, and pulled me between his legs, his arms around me protectively. I had never been held like that, not even by my mother. I appreciated the gesture, and huddled closer. “We will get even better at mating. We are still young.”

“You still intend to mate with me? Even though I could be pregnant?” I asked him. As soon as a woman had mated, she was never touched by a male until her next Woman’s Blood came. It was the way of things.

“Yes. There is no reason why we can’t.” he said, as if he intended to change everything.

I laughed, not believing him. “You will change your mind after my blood goes away. I’ll be unattractive to you then.”

He bent his head over mine. “I’ll mate with you every day if you allow me.”

“Every day! But why?”

“I enjoy being inside of you. You like it too.” he told me. He began moving his hands over my breasts, cupping them. The nipples began to get hard to his touch. Did he want me again? So soon?

“You still want to mate with me.” I sighed, letting his fingers wander over my skin.

“Is that wrong?” He asked, bending down so he could nuzzle my throat.

“I just…never thought it could feel this way.” I told him. I wanted him too.

“I think…that is enough for today. I hurt you the first time.” He started to let me go.

“No, wait.” I said. “Could you just hold me like this? Just for a little while.” I had never felt this way before, but I knew it was a good thing. He obeyed me, holding me for a few minutes more before deciding to go back to camp.

When he left me, a strange feeling came over me. I felt…lost, as if I was missing something. But yet nothing was wrong. I wasn’t sick, and I had eaten well earlier, so I wasn’t hungry, but something was not right. When Nun came back to me, several minutes later, I knew what it was. He hadn’t been with me.

Nun and I didn’t mate for the rest of the day, but when it became night, he invited me to stay with him in his shelter. “Since we are mates for life, and I must protect you, it would be easier at night if you slept beside me.” I agreed, so I left my mother’s shelter for his. It was nothing more than leaves and branches stuck together with mud for a place to sleep or to get out of the rain, but with him beside me, it felt different. The next day, I decorated the walls with flowers, and used bright red, yellow, and green juices from plants to stain the inside. Our shelter looked like no other, and it wasn’t long before everyone in the camp learned that I was permanently mated to Nun.

Of course, once everyone in camp knew about our unusual union, they didn’t keep quiet about it. Boys who left our group told the grown males. It wasn’t long before One-Eye roared into camp one day. “Where is he?” he commanded a woman he had impregnated a year before, who was holding her first child. “Where is this Nun who claims that only he can mate with Tous?” Nun and I were mating in our shelter, away from everyone’s eyes. He was in his usual safe position, behind me, and he had been right that first day. He had become very good with time. Often a woman or child would confuse my cries of pleasure with pain and run to our shelter. My cries led One-Eye right to me. The older male tore off the bark covering that blocked access to the shelter. “You! Get out of her! I want to mate with her!”

Nun pulled out of me easily. “Tous, stand behind me.” I rose quickly and shrunk behind him. He took a strange stick that he always kept close to him and held it in his hands. It was hard and had a sharp point at the end, like a thorn. “This is my mate. You will not have her.”

One-Eye laughed and spat. “How will you stop me? Young one, you’ve never left your mother’s group! And I hear you’ve never fought!”

Nun pointed the stick at One-Eye. “I don’t need to fight. I can kill.”

One-Eye folded his massive arms. “I will break your legs. And then I will rut your female until she dies.” No sooner had he said those words, he charged Nun. Nun stood his ground, holding the pointed stick out in front of him. I cowered with my eyes closed, not wanting to see my mate torn apart by the more dominant male.

I heard a cry, but when I looked, it was One-Eye on the ground, blood gushing from a wound in his stomach. He looked frightened and puzzled for a minute, and Nun allowed him to crawl away. Even though Nun was unhurt, I cried. What was this feeling, I wondered, as I held him close and didn’t want to let him go. I know now it was something called relief. I mounted him then, wanting to show him appreciation for saving me from the hands of One-Eye. He accepted my dominance, cradling my buttocks in his hands. He slapped them with vigor, making me tighten around him as I stroked. It was the greatest thing I had ever felt.

One month later, my Woman’s Blood did not come. I was surprised however, when Nun became even more interested in me than before. My pregnancy excited him. He would often stop me just to press his ear to my belly, or feel the babe move under his fingertips. And then he would mate with me, my body cradled against his in his lap.

The other women in our group noticed our joy, as I grew bigger each day. They had also taken note of the way Nun had defended me against One-Eye. “Please make me your mate for protection!” Some would cry every day. Even though Nun was protecting me, males still made occasional raids, although One-Eye never returned. They wanted to be safe, like I was. Nun refused. He only wanted me. But he didn’t like the way males were treating the women who were his sisters, cousins, aunts (his mother had died in childbirth). One day, he told me to go back to my mother’s shelter so she could look after me.

“Why? Did I do something wrong?” I asked. I had been pregnant for five full phases of the moon, and felt lost without him near me.

“You have done nothing.” he told me, nuzzling my nose with his for comfort. “I am going to bring some males here for the other women. That way no one can rape them, and they will have someone to be happy with.”

“Please don’t go!” I begged, tears flowing down my face. “All the males know who you are. They’ll kill you on sight!”

“I have been practicing wrestling with some of the boys who have not yet left.” He lifted my chin so my eyes met his. “And I have you waiting here for me.”
“Why do you have to go now?” I whimpered. “Why can’t you wait until the child is born?”

“What if the child is a girl? Would you have me wait and wait, until her Woman’s Blood has come to her, and she is afraid of males? No, I will not have that. I cannot wait any longer.” he turned to leave me, but I put my arms around him.

“Return to me.” I told him, and then I let him go. He gave me his sharpened stick.

“Even though you are pregnant, some males can make a woman lose a child, and then they come back and rape her. If a male approaches you, let him run into it, and he will be hurt. If he pins you down…” he stuck the stick into a tree branch that was hanging overhead. “….stab him in the neck. He won’t fight you if you show you won’t be taken easily.”

“Thank you.” There was something else we could have said to each other, before he left, but neither of us knew what that was. I cried that night, not only for a night without him filling me, but for his presence, knowing I was safe. That night, a group of five men came in and rutted two women each. One of them approached me.

“You!” He called to me. “You’re a fertile one. I’m sure whoever had you last wouldn’t mind if you bore my child instead of his.” He stroked himself, a small, thick organ jutting out of a black patch of hair. “You’d like that. I don’t just rut until I spill my seed. I rut for hours. Lie under me. Let me breed you.” He was one of the rare males who was actually attracted to pregnant women, my worst fear with Nun gone.

“No. I have a mate.” I told, taking Nun’s stick in my hands and pointing it at him.

“And he’s gone, is he not? Gone like any male to hunt and start fires. It’s life.” he said laughingly. “You’re young still. You’ll learn soon enough. Under me.” He ran to me and pinned me down. I didn’t have any time to raise my stick. He spread my legs. “Yes, you are a young one. Your skin is unwrinkled.” He said, rubbing his nose over my breasts. I tried not to gag. He smelled like ashes and rotten meat. I raised my stick and thrust it into his neck. His face contorted, but he couldn’t say anything. I got up, and wrenched my stick from his neck. He got up and ran away, almost falling down.

I tried to ignore the cries of the women who were being raped that night, consoling myself with Nun’s words. I told myself that when he came back with males for the others, I’d never hear them screaming like that again. Everyone would be happy with their mates, like I was with Nun. And we would all have peace.

But peace was far off.

I became a kind of legend in the time Nun was gone. I allowed no man to take me, earning me the name "Tous The Untaken". A few women began to follow my example, breaking off sticks from the trees and defending themselves. We began to work together to defend ourselves as well, after we discovered hitting the males with rocks hurt them. Soon, there wasn't a shelter around with a pile of rocks and at least one stick.

It was just as well, once my pregnancy made it difficult for me to move. I no longer had to worry about any male coming in to assault me. But being in my mother's shelter all day made me think of Nun. Why hadn't he returned to me? Was he dead? I always thought the worst, and I spent many hours crying each day.

The day came when I felt my birthing pains.
"Mother? Why do I hurt all of a sudden? Is that the baby kicking me again?" I asked my mother.

"No Tous. It is time for the babies to come out." She told me to be strong, and then she left me alone. Birth was a private thing, not be witnessed by anyone else. Unsure of what I was supposed to do, I lay on my back and insticntively started to push. It was very painful, and I screamed out for hours, before a male entered my mother's shelter.

I screamed out for someone to help me, but no one came. The male approached me, his steps slow and deliberate. It was hard to see his face with his large thick beard, but I could see his eyes, as intense as a fire.

"Someone! Help!" I called out again. Why wasn't anyone coming, wondered. The male came to me and knelt down by my side. He nuzzled my neck, the way Nun used to.

"Tous. I came back to you." he murmurred. "How long have you been like this?"

"Nun! Ah!" I felt a stab of pain. "Hours, Nun. I feel so weak. I just want to sleep."

"No, Tous. That is how women die." He took me arm and brought me to a squatting position, supporting me. "Push as hard you can."

"It hurts so much! Ah!" I felt the pain again, but with Nun here, I could do anything. I started to push, as hard as I could.

"Good! I can see the head!" he told me. I kept pushing, and pushing, and before long, I had my first daughter. But that was not the end of it. I pushed again, and there was another child born, a son. Nun made me lay down, and he handed me my children, crying healthily. I cried with them, relieved.

I spent the next few days in my mother's shelter caring for the children, and Nun took care of me, making sure I had enough fruits to eat. When I was strong enough to go out, I looked and saw males around a fire, poking something in the flames. I screamed and called for Nun.

"What's wrong?" he asked rocking our son.

"Males! They're everywhere!" I shrieked. I went to pick up my sharpened stick.

"No, Tous! I brought them back with me!" he said stopping me. The males all turned to stare at us, then turned back to the fire.

"What are they doing? They'll burn everything with a fire that size!" I pointed out. The fire had tounges of flame rising six feet in the air.

"They're cooking meat. That's why males make fires." The males were putting out the fire and pulling the carcus of an impala from the flames. Then they started cutting it up with sharp rocks and giving everyone a piece. Nun took a large piece and gave half to me. "Here. Men are stronger because all they eat is meat. You can be strong too."

I chewed on it slightly, not used to the taste. The meat had all kinds of layers, like a fruit, the thick skin, the soft fat, the hard muscle and bone. I liked the fat, it didn't taste bad. "Thank you, but I like fruit best." The males were all moving off into seperate shelters, where I knew the women were waiting. There was still a large piece of meat left in the dead ashes of the fire.

"Shouldn't we do something with that? Hyenas and lions could come out of anywhere and take it off." I suggested.

"It's ours. As leader, I get the biggest piece, and I get what's left." he said, going to the meat to drag it to me.

"What's a leader?" I asked.

"All the male groups have them. They're the ones who know what to do."

"Do what?"

"Almost anything."

One of the babies was crying, and I could tell it was little Osane, my daughter. Benat, my son, barely barely made a sound. After Osane was fed, I had more questions for Nun.

"Where have you been all this time? What did you tell these males to make them come back with you?" I asked him, rocking a still fussy Osane.

"First, I had to join a group that would take me by proving I could survive by pinning one of the members to the ground. It was very difficult. I was beaten many times and turned away by many. Finally, I came to the last group in the area. One-Eye was the leader, the one I had to defeat. I was scared, but I knew if I didn't win, I might not come back in time for you to have the babies. I was prepared to wrestle him to the death, but he just gave up. He remembered how I wounded him before, and didn't want o be hurt again."

I winced. I didn't want him to be ne of the males Nun brought back! Even if he was going to stay. "He's here?"

"No. One-Eye left the group altogether. He didn't even want to be near me. The other males started talking and found out who I was, the one that had protected you, and they wanted to kill me. I knew I couldn't win against all of them, so I picked up a stick and waved it at them. I told them if they didn't do as I said, they would all be hurt like One-Eye. So they agreed to come back with me."

"And they all came back?"

"A few ran off, but most of them followed me."

I yawned, feeling sleepy. Taking care of two babies had made me weaker than usual. "Sleep beside me, Nun. Like you used to." Nun obeyed, curling up against my side. It felt good to feel his familiar presence. That, and knowing he was fine, and that he wouldn't let any male hurt me.
"Do you think it will always be like this? Not worrying about attacks?"

He was quiet for a while. Then he ran his fingertips over my face, looking at me like he was searching for something. Nun looked my straight in the eye, with a look that stopped me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, and for the first time I knew why. A feeling, as solid as the earth under my body, passed between us, making us closer than possible. But I wanted to be closer still. I encircled his body with my arms, resting my head on his shoulder.

"They'd have to kill me before I let anything happen to you." His voice was foggy with emotion, so soft, I almost didn't hear him. Nun then decided to do the starengest thing of all. He pulled away from me, just a little so he could look me in the eye again. "And you know I'm pretty hard to kill." Then he started to laugh, a rolling deep sound. For once, I understood, and my voice joined him.

Nun had never laughed before. He had always been so serious, always so sad. It made me happy to see him feel...joy we call it. "Nun, you make everything better." I said, pressing my face to his shoulder again, so full with so many emotions I didn't know what else to say.

"I love you, Tous." he said. Again Nun changed everything, and all he did was say words. They had never been said before, but what he had done had never been done before. There had to be something new said for a new beginning. For new feelings.

For once, I understood him. "I love you, Nun." I told him. I froze in fear though, as if we had disrupted some natural order that was balanced by human misery. But then I decided that something as important as love was worth fighting for, suffering for. And I breathed then. I breathed, and I held Nun even tighter.

Author's Note: I recently submitted this to Literotica.com, so if you see it there, it isn't plagorisism from someone else. I'm just using a different handle.