Grandmother

I was on board a plane bound for my hometown, Surabaya. As I sat restlessly on my seat, the two hours dragged on. Finally, I felt a mild jolt and the plane descended from the layers of the clouds, tinted a stunning crimson by the setting sun. The plane burst through the clouds, and in an instant, a canvas of glittering city lights came into view. I watched in fascination, admiring the city lights which beheld the hustle and bustle of Surabaya’s urban life. Long lines of car headlights traced the network of streets which meandered through the city, and the heart-warming glimmer of lights marked the homes of the three million people living in the city. Soon, I could see the lights of the runway. The plane jolted as its wheels awoke from their slumber, stretching themselves lazily. An air stewardess announced that the plane was going to land reminding all passengers to fasten their seat belts. Then, the plane descended quickly and a jerk of the plane, accompanied by a joyful leap of my heart, signalled that the aircraft had finally touched down upon the land of my hometown.

My mother and I rushed out of the plane and cleared the customs quickly, stepping out into the arrival hall as a sea of faces greeted us. I searched frantically through every face for the familiar face of my father whom I had missed dearly. My father saw us and waved at us, almost swallowed by the crowd. My mother and I rushed to greet him and we shared a heart-warming hug together.

We then piled our luggage into the car and drove off from the airport. There was a moment of awkward silence in the car as we made our way out of the airport. The silence was broken as my father announced, “Ma is hospitalized.” He told us that my grandmother had cracked a bone while lifting a heavy object and was hospitalized. In an instant, all the happiness and enthusiasm I had were crumpled up and thrown out of the window, as sorrow and anxiousness crept into my heart like a vicious snake. I felt a sudden desperation to meet her and be with her, to be beside her whenever she needs me and to care for her. Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought about how little time I could spend with my grandmother and how I could not fulfil my duty as a granddaughter. I was determined to spend more time with her and care for her during my stay in Surabaya.

My parents decided to pay my grandmother a visit and we headed to the hospital. The weather took a capricious change and the sky started to pour. Roars of thunder and cracks of lightning surrounded us with an atmosphere of doom and dread as we drove silently into the hospital. It was the first time that I had been to the hospital wing, and I took an instant dislike of it as I stepped into the long antiseptic corridors of the hospital. An inexplicable dread hung in the air as we made our way to my grandmother’s ward.

I stepped into my grandmother’s ward. It was painted a dull face of grey and two beds were placed perpendicularly against the wall. A television which hung above the beds was switched on and characters floated around on the screen, speaking Hokkien. I saw my grandmother lay on one of the beds, looking fragile and weak. Hanging by her bed was a pouch which contained urine and attached to it was a plastic tube which led to under my grandmother’s blanket. She was being infused; a needle was jabbed into her left arm, like a stake which was being driven through her fleshless arm. I was horrified and could almost feel her pain biting my skin as I saw her in such a state. It was such a horrible sight, to have my grandmother in a ward which seemed to be more of a prison cell.

Slowly, as if afraid of her, I walked towards my grandmother and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. Suddenly, she asked, “Who is this?” I answered her with my name; yet, the old lady still looked confused. My father told me to speak to her right ear for my grandmother’s left ear was going deaf. Again, I told her my name, speaking to her right ear. The bewildered look on my grandmother’s face did not fade. She then conversed with my parents in Hokkien; a dialect which I could only vaguely understand. I made out that she was asking my parents who I was.

I listened to the conversation, staring blankly at the television that was flashing images and emitting sounds which I could not make sense of. I tried hard to curb the tears which threatened to flow. My mind was filled with the question, “Had my grandmother forgotten me?” Each time I returned to Indonesia, my grandmother would always greet me with her angelic smile and gave me a warm welcome. This time, I could not find a trace of her usual sunny smile anywhere on her face, only a sense of bleak and dread which the illness had brought. I hated staying in the ward and wished in my heart that I could quickly leave the sorrowful place.

I spent a lot of time with my grandmother after she was discharged, caring for her and chatting with her. My aunts and uncles came to visit her often, giving her back rubs and feeding her medicine and meals. On an occasion, two of my aunts and I came to visit my grandmother together. As we sat together and talked, one of my aunts said, “It seems that mother and daughter had switched positions. We seem to be talking to her as if we are talking to a child, giving her little encouragements and trying to convince her to swallow her food and take the medicine.” I could not agree more. Even as her granddaughter, I too had to shower the old lady with words of encouragement and keep her cheerful as I sat by her bed everyday.

My heart would fall into pieces each time I sat by my grandmother’s bed, seeing her frail, shrunken body lying helplessly on the bed. I had to convince her to eat and fill her with hopes for recovery. It was all too heartbreaking to watch my grandmother age. I wish I could pull my dear grandma out of the bottomless pit of aging and take her into the bright sunshine, feeling the warm rays caressing our faces.

“One day,” I told my grandmother before I left for the airport at the end of my stay, “after you have recovered, you can come to Singapore with grandpa for a nice long holiday together.”

“Yes! Be sure to bring us there after I have recovered!” she replied with enthusiasm.