Forbidden

Looking over the water, I sipped my wine, thinking over the past several months of secret meetings and cryptic text messages. "I shouldn't be here," I thought but couldn't deny the tingle running through my body, seeing him walk through the restaurant, my teacher, my friend and my lover.

"Waiting long?" he asked.
"No, not long."

The waiter stepped in and took Henry's order of red wine. For a moment, we both sat in silence, looking out over the lake. Dusk was just setting in as the water reflected a shimmer of diamonds. This was our favorite place.

After placing our orders, the topic of conversation turned toward current events and societal problems. We seldom discussed the future, knowing the uncertainty. The college where I attended and he worked frowned upon teachers dating students, even when both were consenting adults.

"Do you think this is fate?" Henry asked as the waiter placed our meals.

"Us?" I asked.

"Yes, is it fate that we should meet at this time?" he said, meaning our ill-timed relationship.

"I believe it is fate. I could have gone somewhere else or chosen a different instructor. Are you having regrets?"

"Not for us, just the timing."

Inwardly I sighed. I couldn't imagine my life without him.

The waiter came back, bringing chocolate torte for us to share. With my fork poised, I sat stunned as a man marched toward our table. Henry turned to see what I was staring at. His thin face paled as he recognized the Dean of Students.

"Do I even want to know what is going on?" Dean Richards asked.

"Allen, what a surprise," Henry said calmly.

"I'm sure. You both realize this is a problem?" he said looking from Henry to me. "I must report this behavior to the president."

"Of course, you must do what you think is best," Henry replied, still calm.
"I'll see you on Monday."

Shocked, Henry and I just looked at each other. We had worked so hard to keep our relationship secret, and now things couldn't be worse.

"Everything will be ok," Henry reassured me.

"How can it be? Every other instructor involved with a student has been forced to choose between teaching and love. What makes you think this time will be different?" I said, panic in my voice.

"I will simply state the obvious facts. The President isn't unreasonable. Besides, you are an adult and very close to graduation. It shouldn't matter now."

"I hope you're right."

I knew it wasn't going to be that easy but still hoped. Henry walked me to my car and kissed me gently. "I'll call you later," he said as walked to his car.

For the rest of my weekend, I did those things I normally did, homework and errands. I didn't hear from Henry, which intensified my fears. Monday morning came and I awoke early, filled with anxiety. My future would be decided today.

With a heavy heart I drove to school. I didn't know how I would be able to concentrate on my studies. I text messaged Henry with an "OK?" but didn't get a response. "What is going on?" I said out loud. He hadn't responded to any of the messages I'd sent to him over the weekend.

The student union buzzed as I grabbed a cup of coffee looking around for Henry. But he wasn’t there. I didn't dare call him. He didn't need anymore trouble. Besides, he won't give up teaching, I thought, it’s too important to him.

I chatted with a classmate for a couple of minutes before we both headed to class. I walked into the classroom as if going to the gallows. I both dreaded and anticipated seeing him again. Most of the students were already there. I slid into my usual seat and pulled out my books. It was nearly time. Henry usually walked in either right on time or just a little late.

Fifteen minutes later he still hadn’t arrived. As the minutes passed, others in the class discussed walking out. There was no way I’d go until I saw him walk into the room.

Ten minutes later Mr. Smith, the biology instructor, walked into the room carrying books and papers, as if prepared to teach the class. I could barely breathe. Could Henry have made the decision to walk away?

"Mr. B is indisposed. I will be taking over his classes for today. I'm not sure what will happen for the rest of the week but, certainly, something will be settled soon. Now, what have you been discussing lately?"

I barely remembered the rest of the class. Toward the end of class my cell phone lit up. It was a text message from Henry. There were only three words - I LUV U. Suddenly I knew and just smiled.

Settling back into class with difficulty, I let my mind wander in delirious happiness. I had finally found the man I had been searching for my entire life. I couldn't wait for class to be over so I could meet him.