What Does it Mean?

I was always the one to blame

Because of the shame

Desperately seeking hope

In all the wrong places



If I shed a tear…

The falling drop of water

Rolls down my cheek

For the world to see



Pain is sorrow

Sorrow is pain

Will I forever live

Within this realm?



Life had no meaning.

When life is meaningless

It’s all for naught

And all in vain



Wanting to tear out

That page of my life

Toss it in the trash

Where I’ve been for so long



Sitting and thinking

Have I thanked the ones

That sent my life

Into this downward spiral?



If I did it was heard

Because they only added

More heartache and hurt

More torture and misery



Someone please

Take my pain and help me sustain

I can no longer carry the burden

Of this heavy load.



What do I see

In my reflection?

It’s not what others

See in me.



I see a

Dreadful drowning soul

Lost in the sorrowful swirl

Of life’s cruel fate.



My door is closed tight

So no one can see in

I don’t want anyone scared

Of the horrors inside.



Please someone,

Take my life

And slice it with a knife

Freeing me from the past.



Who would care?

No one would…

Who would notice?

No one would…



My words silenced

As though I am gagged

Who took my voice

That long ago day?



My thoughts scattered

As the fall leaves on the ground

Confusion blows harshly

Upon my face.



Nothing makes sense

But it’s ok

Cause no one

Would understand anyways



Why do my tears have to fall

For the sake of nothing?

Understanding eludes me

But leaves me wondering…



I don’t always care

That family can’t hear me

But the desire

Forever lingers within me.



Without family to care

Does that make me nothing?

Like a battered ship

Lost at sea?



Or does it mean

That I could be…anything?

Or possibly…someone?

Or even deserving?