Just Say Maybe

Just Say Maybe

So the car stopped in front of my house
And I watched as her small, pale frame emerged from the vehicle’s warm interior.
I saw her coat and quickly I knew it was her.
It was the only coat she owned,
A golden tint to its blush,
And white strands of fake fur around the neck and at the cuffs of the sleeves.
I immediately rushed off my porch into the snow night,
Onto my front walk outside of my house.
She looked different,
Hair short and dyed orange from her once raven black nightsky tresses.
I only heard her mutter my name to herself,
As if in some awed mystery cry.
My mind meandered through my emotions and my body shook with surprise and wonder.
“Why is she here now?” is all I could repeat in my mind.

Two year spent pinning over the love I had let go.
I had taken this girl’s heart, beaten it sullen,
And left it for the beasts of despair and lonliness.
I only wished I could, from that day forth, hold her again
Feel her heart pulsate slowly as mine did for hers.
I prayed every night for a second chance,
Whispering to my Polaroid headboard alter,
Hymns hardly audible.
When I asked for forgiveness,
I told her all I needed was a simple spark of hope.
“Just say maybe,” I’d ask her.
“Please just say maybe.”
I don’t remember her ever saying it.

In front of my eyes I watched as she rushed up my front walk,
The only sound she made was that of her shoes in the snow,
The crunch of the soldiers falling under the soft canter of her boot.
She stood a mere three feet in front of me and I swear I could see her wings emerge from her shoulders and raise up to the tar sky.
She stared for only a moment,
Peering deep into my irises,
Trying to observe if my eyes were trembling like hers.
Quickly she infolded me into a strong hug,
Wrapping her arms around me.
If she were to let go,
I was afraid she might be pulled away with the auburn leaves on the wind
And float away into the sky forever.
Kidnapped from me again, trapped, back to vicious jaws of loneliness and despair.
Her coat moaned as it wrapped around me.
I could feel her tears freeze as they melted into my t-shirt.
I stood as one with her for the first time in two years,
Close enough to feel her warm breath on my goose bumped neck,
Amazed that my prayers had been answered,
That she felt this way once again and reciprocated it,
She once again held this treasure true.
I was warm, though the snow fell onto my body and left its transparent water cries on my pale skin.
My heart flickered, picked up the pace,
Pumping blood through my chest and veins speedily.
I could hear her whisper
“Dear god, how I’ve missed you.”
“But what now?” is all I could ask.
I needed to hold her for the rest of my life,
I needed her comfort again and I could not believe that before what seemed so improbable,
Was now so impeccably true.
She kissed me like she needed the air from my lungs,
As if I was a human respirator.
She held me like a true angel would hold a mere mortal,
And the streetlight hit our bodies as if we were in heaven.
As if this was planned by something omnipotent.
When she was done holding me in her peppermint schnapps kiss,
I searched deep into her crying puddle eyes as she smiled.
“The future?” I questioned of her.
There,
On the front walk outside of my house,
I held a breathing piece of heaven in m arms.
It was blissful silence and tears streamed down my cheeks on a death march to my chin,
To freeze like the snow.
Quiet warmth,
Quiet comfort found only in her arms.
She kissed me again and held me tight,
Stared into my eyes and begged of me,
In the most silenced whisper,
Hardly audible,
“Just say maybe.”